The CRESH spa and creche: we ALL deserve crap ham

[FannyPriceless]

Enter all ye ESHes. We've been Barren, we've been Pregnant - now at last we are Child-Rearing.

• Come share your questionable tips on raising a real live baybee!
• Compete with Cunty to take control of the bad mummy crown!
• Eat crap ham - after all, you deserve it!

Poor Box! Tell her I send her a punch to the norks to take her mind off the ankle pain [gron]

Mr T has been a devil child - needing/wanting constant feeding; literally. Not napping or sleeping for more than 10 mins then having a meltdown unless he's on the boob. He did a nearly-4 hour stretch of noisy sleep last night and that's been about it. Nips have gone beyond all known levels of pain and have passed into the realm of extreme art performance. Can't even sleep cos of pain and sensitivity in 'em. Massive blockage in lefty not helped by pumping. Dead area of skin on left nip increasing, joy! Cannot bloody wait for the Titty Lady to (hopefully) sort us out tomorrow. Going to try dare to sleep now - how come babies can practically be comatose but the second their mum's head nears a pillow they start screeching blue murder... ?

Am hoping he's been fractious due to the muggy weather and not that it might be the dreaded colic.

Muse, you are a braver woman than I doing that journey. Have this medal I have cunningly fashioned from the foil off a chocolate coin :)

Score, loads of luck for tomorrow! According to wonder weeks there is a 5 week fussy period so hopefully it's that. Shouldn't last too long.

Any of you lot coming back to the deli with me? Silv?

Mini-reg is lovely, he's got super eyebrows and reggie was very complimentary of you. She's got itchy feet and wants to raise him on a farm as idyllic as her childhood was.

Bear now has 3 molars, each molar = 2 shit night's sleep. :(

We are now 100% on cow juice, and it's a double thumbs-up for nice cold ice cold milk!

curly have a cocktail for me please?

Oooh, I've just ordered that wonder weeks book off Amazon, Rocket! Can't wait to check it out.

Mr T was actually an angel last night after all that - slept for 2 phases of 4 1/2hr sleep in the night. Shame I only got 1 hr, as pain from blocked boob plus incomprehensible agony from anal fissure after bulky poo at 11pm left me shaking, sobbing and screeching in pain until 6am , meaning TYF had to do 100% of childcare. Thank Gawd I'd expressed plenty of milk to try to drain the blockage. He's had to take the day off work as all I'm fit for is laying around shivering in pain and just about managing to feed my lad.

Roll on Booby Fixer this avo...

Sorry to be so mememe at the mo. Lorra pain is making me a bit insular.

Hope the booby fixer sorts you out Scorps. That sounds so beyond grim I can't think what to say.

Ok. I have a query re Box's (no doubt extremely nasty and vey painful) injury. It's been a few ages since my arse has graced a horse's back, but from what I remember, when one disembarks from such a position in an unanticipated manner, one usually lands on one's bonce/arse/shoulder/hand etc. So how come Box managed to land on her ankle? Was she attempting some kind of fancy dismount involving a half pike/backflip before landing smartly on 2 feet? Does she ride her hoss wearing a spangly latex outfit and assuming a standing position???

someone told me the molars were the worst, Alps. POor you.

score big up the booby fixer. Mine seem better after going REALLY sore on the 'good' side the other night, no idea what that was about but think it might be karma for my 3 steps backwards comment :o Fingers crossed you can make some progress today. Hope you like the book.

ski erm, no. bit too soon.

Sprouts hair has started to come through really quite ginger. I am made up, TB less so. But the hair she was born with is still dark brown with high lights (no idea how that happened) so it looks like we were ashamed of the ginge, dyed it brown and its now growing out. :o Makes me chuckle every time i look down at her head, which is obviously happening a lot right now.

yaya for the ginge artie's ginger comes and goes it seems.

Someone is driving me crazy and someone is going to bed early tonight!!! MB has been possessed all afternoon. No nap and at this moment is a one baby disaster zone on wheels. He is in his walker and quite frankly has a "destroy everything strategy" currently programmed.

Ow! Poor box! I have had three pins in my smashed wrist so I can sympathise. clucks please pass on my best ESH love. (i.e. Glasgow kiss or similar )

I am vacillating between complete panic and disturbingly psycho calm spells. I have an interview tomorrow for an actual grown up proper job! (casp the application I told you about.) I only found out yesterday as the original email went astray to my spam. It's a long time since I did one of these 'interview' things. Plus none of my clothes fit me.

Worst part is the interview letter states: 'You will be required to give a 15 minute presentation, the topic of which will be provided to you on the day. You will have 30 minutes to prepare and access to a computer.'

What are the chances that the topic will be 'Weaning foods and their various effects on colour and composition of nappy contents'?

quick 6am catch up while I sit alone feeding the sprog. Sorry about the injury box, hope pinning went/goes well. Nipple tweaks from abroad should take your mind off the pain.

Good luck with the interview fanny. You'll be just fine.

Congrats on the interview fanny! Totally agree that interviews are scary, I always find remembering that interviewing is a two way street and they are also under scrutiny! So they should be equally afraid!

I found out that my ML cover lady (the third one) has also left and is not being replaced. I can feel my ease back into it plan is not going to happen.

Alp can't see me visiting the deli anytime soon. Not this year at least.

casp hope you are having lovely hols with pleasant scorchio and booze!

Any update on box?

fans good luck, sure you'll be fine. you have 2 small children, nothing should scare you

fans go naked. They always say that you should imagine your interviewer naked, so just imagine how off key you'd throw them if you whipped out your laser pen from under your book! Would anyone say anything or would they all be sitting there quietly thinking 'have I actually gone totally fecking mad?'. Congratulations on getting people to see you as a real person and not a baby-brained hausfrau who dribbled and drinks gin at 11am. See! Game not over yet and all the billions in pay will help renovate a new house pay for 1 horse and 2 Welsh A's.

Can't remember if I said last week but we saw wild ponies one day last week when we were up in the hills. So lovely.

Yes, how's box doing? Hope she's ok poor thing - and obviously we require dismount story.

Silv something in the berkshire water? I've had a psycho lunatic on my hands too.

Medee that would make sense with the multiple cusps. Seems there is now another!

He slept until 6 today and I ignored him for 20 mins then we all had a 2 hour nap later which was much needed. I feel nauseous.

Good luck fanny!

Blimey Casp - you're 2 hours ahead which makes it a 4am catch-up [gulp]. Admittedly BC has a feed about then but I do it with my eyes shut pretending I'm asleep.

Will pass all your messages onto Boxer - she's still stuck in hossie sans internet waiting for the swelling to go down so they can operate. At this rate she'll be lucky to be out by the weekend. She does have a huge canister of gas by her bed to keep her busy which she's sucking on a plenty - no morphine due to BFing ...using far less than a birthing mother tho. Goes to show, huh!

Bad news on the cover lady Silv - surely you're not going back already

Knock 'em dead Fanster.

Oh yeah - it was a flying dismount at a gallop, feet first cossack-style. The pone let out a spectacular buck when she put her leg on and off she went. Very nearly stayed on but was not to be . Even one of the judges heard it crack, the other one told her she should be writhing around in agony if it was broken but she's a tough old thing our Box.

Such a pity as she was in the lead at the time. Never mind, she'll be back in the saddle in time for the hunting season

Sending good luck vibes to FP.

That sounds like a very sasty ouch for poor old Boxtikov. Hop the gas 'n' air is as good as I remember it...

Showjumping?

Not back to work for a couple of months yet.

Sigh. Dishwasher definitely dead.

Hope it went ok FP

box takes DHB crown then. Is she ginger? Apparently we have high pain thresholds as one freind said to explain my lack if hard drugs during labour

Bugger re the dishwasher cosmo can it not be fixed? I think I may be making progress with the washing machine. Engineer is back out AGAIN on Friday after he told me "there's nothing wrong with it" and I ended up sitting and watching the entire cycle to prove him wrong.

They?ve fitted new thermostat twice, but something is tripping it, so the whole board needs replacing apparently ? will be £268. can get a new one for less.

Also re the gingers, you also need more pain killers when you do take them than the non gingers apparently.

as well as having more hairs on your head than the nonginge

And more sensitive nipples. :o

That must explain why I think paracetamol is a waste if time then? Doesn't touch the sides.