The CRESH spa and creche: we ALL deserve crap ham

[FannyPriceless]

Enter all ye ESHes. We've been Barren, we've been Pregnant - now at last we are Child-Rearing.

• Come share your questionable tips on raising a real live baybee!
• Compete with Cunty to take control of the bad mummy crown!
• Eat crap ham - after all, you deserve it!

Enjoy the heroin, Box!

Well done on surviving, Fanny.

Medee congratulations on your punctuation! ;)

box is a space cadet haha!

Does anyone else have a child who communicates with them using a series of clicks? I promise I didn't use flicker training but I fear I've raised a dolphin. :(

fanny I bet you were great.

Flicker training ?

Clicker! Although flicker would work too given the dolphin context. These text predictors are wags eh?

silv I?ll not confess to how much our collection of mountain, road and cross bikes is worth. In fact I dare not think of it myself tbh.

Re seats we have just bought this seat and Artie had his first ride on Saturday, which was a success. He enjoyed looking all around, enjoyed a café stop and then fell asleep.

Artie said ?ba-ba? when I said bye bye today. I am choosing to believe it was deliberate. He also said Mama when I was changing his nappy. Am also choosing to believe that was deliberate. Oh and he also has his other top tooth through.

fans I am sure you nailed it.

Man those drucks sound goooood Boxy. Hope you are being waited on hand and foot. Are you home yet or is that heroin on a drip?

We have a Co-Pilot seat received from friends ready and waiting to be used in a cupboard, but I'm not sure what age you can plonk a baby on them from - I know they usually say 9kg, but I think they also have to be able to hold their heads well with all the wobbling around, no? I'm assuming Squib will need to be about a year or so old, which means I'll be taking him out in driving November rain for his first bike experience. I'm sure he'll love it. Can't wait to be able to get back on my bike - I turned up at our first ante-natal class on a bike, and being stuck on buses is driving me bonkers. No fancy bikes round our parts...my record was having one stolen one week after I bought it, so these days I won't spend more than £50 on a pair of wheels off Ebay. Hate to say it, Silver but £350 is pretty much a starter price for a bike these days if you want something that has gears that actually change.

Oh my giddy aunt.

So how do I find one of those nanny thingummies? Looks like I'm going to need one.

So you did show up naked then!

Congratulations! :)

Let's do a rousing chorus of "I don't believe in nannies" "But they do exist"!

Light, our bike shop recommended 9m for on a seat, I think the manufacturers say 6, but you need to make sure they can take the weight of the helmet properly. Artie is 9.5m

fans nekkid dancing all round!!!! Is it ft or pt?

silv We've got this one: Bobike grey for the behind me, I'll get a handlebars seat for #2.

WOOOO! You got it FP? That sounds like some masterful blagging to me!

How long were you off work for, just out of interest? I'm planning on job hunting towards the end of this year, and will have been out of the job market for 2 years by the time I want to get back to work...wondering how employable I'll be after that kind of gap.

9 months eh Cosmo? Well, that's only a month and a half away. Squib's been a good sitter from an early age, so I'm tempted to try and give it a go before the weather gets too crappy...

cosmic It's ft.

light It's been two years. I really did not think I was employable. I doubted I would ever have the confidence / ability to get back into my actual career path (as opposed to selling lottery tickets and fags to local villagers). I was beyond nervous doing the application and interview, and the whole way through thought that someone was going to point at me and shout 'You're an imposter! You only know how to change nappies. And you're not even good at that!' or something to that effect.

Now I am hoping I'll actually be able to get through my first day at work without asking colleagues if they need to do a wee wee, or pointing out the window and saying 'Look! A fire engine!'

welcome to the ft work club fans. It's not so bad once you work out how you need to organise yourself.

light I'd give it a bash now then.

Woo well done fanfare what a result!

I'm on strike today. I feel quite reckless

Congratulations Fanny! Excellent news.

Thats is brilliant news Fanny jolly well done :o

Well done that ESH!!! When do you start?

In summary I'm having a shite day.

Horsey dilemma - WWYD ? It seems I either resign myself to paying for a childminder once/twice a week so I can ride or wait and see as to when HI can babysit? This varies from once to maybe twice a week. Nag is mature so not wasted as such but I feel guilty and sorry for him and probably sorry for me in that I have v little babyfree time due to HI working all the time and ILs who aren't interested. I have contemplated putting him out on loan but it's so hard finding the right home.

It's a tricky one innit Silver? Not just hoss related but having time for any kind of interest outside of childcare unless you have family available and willing to babysit - I don't have any but am lucky that the other half gets home from work early to give me an hour or so's down time.

When I was young my folks bought me a pony from a woman who had a 6 month old baby and just couldn't combine the 2 (plus I think she'd got him when young and was a bit for him). Nice part of it was that by the time I had outgrown the hoss, said baby was old enough to start riding (must've been nearly 7 or summat), so she ended up buying him back off us for her child to ride!

Clearly the above is of no earlthly use to you as advice. Sounds like the only option if you want to keep riding might be the childminder or...maybe patent a cycling style baby seat to attach bubba to hoss and take with you? Now there's a business idea...

God, can't type...bit big for him. And earthly.

Well done fanfare (told you so )

Dissapointed bike will not get used fir at least another 8 months but I suppose probably more due to the time if year. Oh well.

Christ. FOR, AND, OF.

silv I start as soon as I can appoint a nanny. I'm estimating 6 weeks. Does anyone know if this is reasonable? (box - I would look at you for a response but I'm guessing you can't answer, what with the drugs 'n all.)

And btw silv please wash your mouth out. Our other halves never 'babysit' their own children. That's just called being a parent!

Hurrah, Fanny! That is fabulous news!

Good grief - that it fast work getting that job Fanster. You must've been ace. Big congrats

Silv - the hoss doesn't mind whether or not he's ridden. If he's stuck out in a field he just doing what nature intended, no? Question is, are you OK with riding just once or twice a week??? I get the feeling the answer's no. Boxer and I have a very neat arrangement where we watch each other's babes while the other rides - is there anyone you could do that with.
That said, I am putting BC into nursery twice a week from Sept so I can go hunting so I see nowt wrong with the childcare route.

I guess what irks me is that we have MIL 15mins away who complains she never sees MB and..... Well it doesn't matter really.

It's the "will I / won't I" as HI doesn't always know what time he'll be home and I'm the kind of person that likes to plan! I guess with the childcare route I know it's concrete.

Winter is going to be a trauma what with being a diyer and no sharer. Have an idea that I'll ask/pay a couple of liveries to have him the days I'm working. HI says no need and we can manage between us but don't see how as I'll have time to take MB to nursery then pray I get to work on time and then again at hometime I'll be legging it across town to pick him up. There's no time for horse chores! If I'm paying then I know it's sorted and I can relax which in my mind is worth the expense. Just need to convince HI that this is the best plan.

fan stoopid me. Of course that's the way it should be. I think I'll remember that gem for future use.