The CRESH Creche and Spa - future home of all ESH

[Muser]

I liked the CRESH acronym more than FESH so have used it. Welcome all ESH to your final stop on the journey. Rest your aching lady bits, try one of the many gin based cocktails, and try to molest the gorgeous waiting staff.

camelina MB went through a period of feeding every two hours for quite awhile. Bloody knackering and of his own accord he started going three hourly.

Dear God Fanny. How did your AIBU thread get to 210 posts! I am never posting my own thread in there. What a bunch of po-faced twats.

muse Yes, it is pretty frightening! No matter what you post about in AIBU sooner or later someone will say you're a hopeless mother. Never again...

Weirdly though I have found some of the abuse empowering. I am a good mother. And I am one of the most honest people I know, going out of my way to pay for forgotten things, etc.

So stuff the lot of 'em. I'll just hide here. (Because as we all know, anything is forgiven in ESH land!)

I left Saninsbury's local the other day and got half way home to fine mini Oke holding a packet of Walkers Ready Salted crisps which he had picked all by himself while sat in the pram which were unpaid for by me. Firstly, they shouldn't put stuff like that at child grabbing disance and secondly he could have swiped some Salt and Vinegar or even better Worcester Sauce flavour instead... FP I have only had time to glance at the AIBU fred but I hope you are not taking any comment personally are you?? Fuck the pious fuckers I say.

Talking of what you eat and the affect on breast milk/supply I have managed to loose 30lbs since the beginning on Jan while successfully breastfeeding and not having any affect whatsoever on my supply. One of my resolutions this year was to loose a stone by Easter and another by the time I went back to work in November and I am chuffed that I managed to shed both stones by the end of Easter. Now I just want o loose another 7lbs..I had excess to loose so that has helped it drop off but sayng no to muffins and cake is what has done it. Clearly though I have not deprived myself of wine

Nothing like some dimwits telling you you're a bad mother to remind you that actually you're a bloody good one. Glad you're rising above it all. I laughed like a drain at your story. But then, I keep hitting my daughter's head off things so I am clearly a more terrible mother than you.

Okie I am jealous of the weight loss. I am being rubbish at the moment in giving up the cakes/chocolate/crap. I'm sure if I did with all the bloody walking I do to get her to nap, and the buggy fitness, and the pilates, and the yoga, I'd drop weight quickly. But I'm knackered a lot of the time and the cake is a crutch. I'm starting to depress myself with my lardiness though.

Oooh, exciting developments in the Muse household. We finally resumed the marital ghastliness. Only took a frankly embarrassing 12 weeks.

Hello all. I need to make a post in order to keep up. Have been off radar for a few days - total fucking shite couple of weeks described on t'other place. Needless to say, I am NOT in the Caribbean drinking tequila-based cocktails, but in my own living room re-writing my diary and dealing with grief-stricken OH and TT. Both taking things remarkably well, considering. And my ducks were killed by the fox last week. And the extension has gone all wrong - structural engineer says we need to dismantle part of it and rebuild it with stronger concrete to stop the old bit of house falling down. I couldn't even get as far as the motorway to drive home tonight without finding it closed by some twit trying to jump to his death from a bridge on the M18.

I am going to buy a lottery ticket or 2 this week, as I feel my luck needs to change soon.

muse a 12 week shag? now THAT is dedication to your husbands wellbeing so it is!

box By the time you read this the Shitland will have escaped and will be in the feed room dining on a 25kg sack of oats and the new one will be trapped in a coil of rusty barbed wire.

My yesterday vaguely detailed on fb. Needless to say am just about to ring dentist for an emergency appointment (for me), doctor for an emergency appointment for Bear (eye "gunk").

Oh and JB slept on the sofa last night because we had a massive argument about keys. Yes, keys. I went out for dinner last night with some friends and came home via Burger King for him (ain't I nice?) - got in, popped my keys on the shoe rack, don't normally do that - I hang them up in the kitchen in their place , but I was tired and thirsty.

30 minutes later he accused me of taking his keys out all night becasue he found them on the living room table (he never puts them in their place!). WTF? I am livid and told him to drop dead - after he called me insane of course.

i) it's only fucking keys, what if I did take them? it's not as if it's going through SMS messages/hacking emails/etc.
ii) I didn't take his keys, you just know your own right? I have an in-utero pic of Bear on my keyring.
iii) What a fucking arsehole. How long should he stay in the dog house?

Men! Meh! Should stay on sofa til you see fit. Perhaps two months should do it alps!

Horsey ESHs - cry for help! Have lost my oomph!!! Could have ridden yesterday morning but I feel constantly knackered and it's all I can do to go down field, bring in, feed and turn out again. Also hate leaving MB on the yard when noone around as am paranoid about car bring nicked. Field is quite a way away and if nag at bottom of field (which is huge) I could be gone for awhile and it stresses me in that I am an anxious mess! Massively.

fanza I tell thee you did nothing wrong! Those AIBU wimmin are viscious!!!!

Oh and sharer off games. Again. GAH!

silv How about wheeling him up to the gate and then you can fetch the nag, tie him up, then walk back to gate to retrieve MB? Make it a kind of game, bumping over the uneven soil. I had exactly the same thought yesterday actually, that whilst I'm happy to "strap him down" and watch me school, I have to go around the corner and out of sight (U-shaped field) to try and catch the nag, and if it's anything like yesterday that's 40 fucking minutes. :( I was exhausted by the time I got her in yesterday so bathed her and vegged out for 30 minutes before tacking up. Then rage drove me on I think. When I got back to the yard, hosed her down again, phoned jb to say I was safe then sat prone for another 30 mins before being able to drive home. So yes, 4 hours at the stables! I don't have as much energy as I would like to ride. By the time I've finished work and popped him in to bed the last thing I want to do is have a battle of wills. AIBU to harshly judge inexperienced people who use "gadgets" and yet without my Pelham right now I'd be a quivering wreck? I swear the curb rein is the only thing keeping her from going over backwards. :(

I'm still loling at "you deserve crap ham" - it's got to be up there with "your views repulse me".

You ALL deserve crap ham.

I find your talk of crap ham repulsive.

Boxy feeling for you matey. Am so gagging for a holiday, cannot imagine gearing self up for more crap ham instead without having some sort of meltdown.

For those who haven't met Okes, she will be virtually invisible now, she was already slim.

I also find your talk of 12 wk sechs repulsive. We have not had full on nookie since Clint was conceived.

alps, Jb is being very strange about his keys....are they having an affair?

Sorry for being Ms Lurkalot. Am crap (ham).

VAG Shouldn't hat be a knob-shaped crown?

Love the image! So is next the challenge for one of us to succeed in claiming both the (k)nob crown and the bad mother crown at the same time? I think there's a few of us who who be nominated for that.

e.g. there has been no sechs here since November (and even then I was crap at it). Plus according to AIBU I am currently Mumsnet's most hopeless, criminally negligent mother. So is it me?

okie I find your talk of weight loss replusive.

fanny Bit of an over-kill you sending him off to the vet's then!

Well done okie - marvellous stuff!

There was I, all worried that you'd all conceive before me - seems unlikely now. :(

alps I know!! Poor man. I painted him a picture of us having random, condom-free sex all the time if he went for the snip - shag, shag, shag all day long. Now look at us.

I did the sechs last night.

FP you have reminded me that I have written on the shopping list "arse wipe" for loo roll before.

We failed to resume Relations last week, and now MrM is back at work.

we had the sechs on Saturday night. Apparently for the first time since before christmas. it still hurts.

At least once a week, every week, since Rastus was 5 weeks old. Gives me 5 or 10 mins to plan for the next day/day ahead, although the last time i took the calendar and a pen up to bed with me it was frowned on.

We did the sechs last week for the first time (BB was 15 weeks and we hadn't done it since trying to get the child out). Because I am not on the pill, TG has not yet had the snip and we had no condoms, we had to do it up the bum. (IGGGGYYYYYY... are you listening?! hehe)

Ahahahahaha