The CRESH Creche and Spa - future home of all ESH

[Muser]

I liked the CRESH acronym more than FESH so have used it. Welcome all ESH to your final stop on the journey. Rest your aching lady bits, try one of the many gin based cocktails, and try to molest the gorgeous waiting staff.

I am picturing men/women* the length of Britain hiding all the condoms and then shrugging and saying 'Oh damn, looks like we'll just have to do it up the bum again.'

• delete according to whose 'special treat' it is

Don't worry vag Relations have occured here precisely twice since conception. Or actually since the BFP. I think there was some action post conception but pre knowledge of it.

Anyhoo. when is a polyp not a polyp? When it's a Casper polyp. Or not.
Second nurse had a peek up my foof today and she too was confuzzled about what exactly has appeared up there. So I now have a gynae referral. Such fun! Will I ever get a single year when someone doesn't have a good rummage/look up my vag? Please?

Oh good God. No relations here. I still have a gaping hole in my abdomen so I am slightly concerned I would explode, or else one of us would end up holding my bowel midway through. Which isn't my idea of foreplay.

I quite like a bit of crap ham every once in a while. When I'm feeling trashy.

Jebus, just popped into to ask a really boring noob question about bathing and stumbled into bum sech. :o

Can i please have some advice about bathing? My friend has offered me one of these and also a bath. I would like to take only one of them as space is at a premium in our house. I am drawn to the support as its going to take up less room but am wondering if a proper bath would be more practical as then i wouldn't have to lean over the bath (have a historically bad back). To be honest i was thinking about either just holding her in the sink/bath or getting one of those bucket things but as these are going to be free prob makes sense to get one of them. What has worked for you? (I am aware I am probably over thinking this x a zillion but thought it was worth asking)

rocket , don't get the bucket thing (Tummy Tub). Or if you want one let me send you mine. It was used about three times and currently is used to collect odd socks! Despite having a pretty crap body, including bad back, I have done about 95% of baby bathing in our normal bath - the same one I bathe in. By about 4 months she was happily lying in shallow water, unsupported (but supervised) and splashing around. She now flips, splashes, sits, stands, turns, climbs - you name it.

We have never used a bath support. So if you want something for the early days, the sink or a basic plastic baby bath that you can set up on the floor (on top of towels if on carpet) and side down beside her, would be the best bet IMO.

AIBU to be googling "if they are not polyps, what are they?" Unfortunately every single search involving weird cervical growths comes up with hits for cancer. I'm not fretting about that. Just wondering WTF is up there. Especially as I keep being asked "are you sure this hasn't been mentioned before?" as if there's some sort of Lady GaGa is a meaty dress dancing in stilletos with a herd of pink elephants up my foof*. Well, if it's that obvious, you'd think they'd having noticed when I pushed a baby out of there last summer!

*I am now tempted to try to get a look up there myself.

Just back from my run. It was good! I am surprising myself. Don't seem to be losing any weight though.... Got a wedding to go to in 2 weeks and I wanted to have lost a stone. I think I have gained half a stone instead. Mind you, now that I am exercising my brain thinks that means I can eat whatever I want.

Glad my sechs life is providing mirth. I reckon TG deliberately hasn't bought condoms because he knows if he waits long enough I will consent to the bumsex. Reckon he might have to wait at least a year now though.

Sprocket I would take the bath support. We have one because I couldn't be arsed with finding room for a baby bath. Tbh while they are little they don't need to be in the bath very long at all so I haven't found it too taxing on my back. Changing nappies while sat on the floor is far worse for me.

I think we used our baby bath once and then switched to the big bath. She hated baths in the baby bath. She's better in the big bath because we can make them deeper and swish her around more.

Casp you are just doing it for attention... you love getting your vag out. I am intrigued now as to what is up your foof. Not that I want a look mind, before you offer. I'm not really sure what polyps look like but I am imagining a red and white spotted toadstool. And maybe some fairies living in there. Step away from Dr Google, no good can come of it.

I think Casp has an alien race living in her foof. Before we know it she'll be in Take a Break telling her story.

Now picturing aliens living inside toadstools, experimenting on fairies, up my foof How much do you reckon TAB would pay for that?

step AWAY from google.

Thanks for the advice all. Bath support it is. I love a bath myself and was loving the idea of taking her in with me (was just going yo use my legs as a support) so think that would ve the best bet. And I really can't think if anywhere we could put a plastic bath. Thanks foe the tommy tippee offer curly but you've not really sold me on it :O

I meant tummy tub not tommy tippee of course. All this baby stuff gets muddled in my brain. Poor kid will probably end up with a nappy on her head at this rate.

Bath support will come in very useful if you have 2 children. Last time I looked I only had 2 hands not 4 so bath support comes in very handy. Didn't use one with only one child though.

Sorry to hear of the vag issues casp.

I find your talk of bumsex repulsive, but not as repulsive as crap ham.

we have a bath support like that one, is v useful imo. Although nothing wrong with the sink when they're teeny. Mind you I don't think we bathed Artie for weeks as we were too scared

No relations here despite mucho pressure from frustrated HI.

meant to say silv, you mentioned distracted feeding, just wanted to say it's totally normal they all go through it when they discover that you can break off and look around. Welcome to the world of showing your nips a lot Just try and feed him somewhere quiet if you can.

costa tis a trauma!!

MB has smokers cough. First proper coughing cold. Not too bad but will I be glared at if I go to my usual baby group type stuff??? Or do we have to be quarantined! Def won't be seeing my chum with her TinyBoy who was a featherweight premie.

silv if you stay in because of a cough you'll never get out. Squeaks is still at it - started at the end of March.

If you keep them away from friends for every cough and cold you'd never go out Silv. Absolutely spot-on at keeping away from TinyBoy but the others shoyld be robust enough to cope with a few germs.

If he was proper ill - temp, lethargy etc., then I'd say keep him away.

Am ignoring the bumsechs chat as it's making my eyes water. We had plenty of bedroom antics in the run-up to the birth (BC was 16 days late), enough to keep us going for a while more methinks.

We also use the bath support. LC didn't like it when she was a baby but BC loves it. Like Okes says, unless you have the arms of an octopus or the time to bath the kids separately (why would you???) then it comes in very handy.

Off to see Box later to book next years ski holiday. Italy I think. Anyone been???

What children do to you: Once upon a time I would have had one ski holiday which I would have agonized for ages over and compared 3 million chalets and resort reviews, and then every other month for the rest of the season I would have flitted backwards and forwards between home and my ski flat with nothing more than a credit card and a clean pair of knickers in my bag. Now I think 'Oooh, Italy! Do they have snow and childcare? Sounds fab!' decision made in 3 seconds flat.

Kate Yes. It's the place where men where those tight lycra fitted ski pants. You don't want to look at yet your eyes are horribly drawn. :( Loved Italy. :) Not too bad a drive either - although not overly impressed by the gendarmes at the Mont Blanc tunnel, upon peering in to my car (Polo with skis filling most of interior) asking why I was going to Italy?

Ha! My other half had the same there alps. Two men and a boat full of sports gear - pretty bloody obvious why they were there!

Italy: Do not, under ANY circumstances, if you happen to be there with a team from work allow one of the team members to sing 'Liver-poo-ooool!' as you go through customs the day after Liverpool beat AC Milan in the Cup Final. Even if they sing it really quietly. Ask me how I know.

Go on Box, spill - how do you know???