A Viscous Attack # 3

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Ding, ding, round 3 of the highly entertaining collection of misspellings, misuse and general bastardisation of language. The floor is youre’s x

🎶🎶

I was reading a post related to childhood memories.

Someone posted that they used to hold their breath when they saw a hurst go by.

I have to assume they meant a hearse.

Or the Hursts were the roughest family in the neighbourhood?

🤣🤣🤣

Someone advertising their gardening services on FB - "Let me tidy your boarders". Hmm, will he know what's a wead and what's a flour?

Maybe some lodgers need smartening up?

I've just read some friendship advice, to "give her a wide birth". Ouch!

I've just seen this on X.

does their website recommend double glazing and earplugs?😂

Excellent list but I did wonder if 'fled the nest' could be more intentional than you assumed.

You'd hear them before they burgled you 🤣

Today’s offering from a comment on a newspaper article -
“[The offender given a suspended sentence] “should made to go to work sowing mail bags.” Clearly a case of as ye sow, so shall ye reap….

@sesquipedalian Perhaps he’s going to plant them

All our letters will grow on trees 🌳. That's going to slow the postal service down even more

I've just heard of someone getting a new Shay's long sofa. I don't think I'd like to buy a new long sofa with Shay draping himself all over it.

It probably Shay's old one but it's length made it difficult to palm off.

I’ve just read that someone is thinking of buying a suade jacket x

Perhaps you can persuade her to do it!

Piece of mind as in I did it for my piece of mind.
Seeing adverts for someone selling a six birth caravan make me grit my teeth.
Chester Drawers is just pitiful.
Pack lunch instead of packed lunch.
Disinterested where people really mean uninterested.

Oh god - 'dophinwa' potatoes is my favourite!

Is it bad form even on Pedants' Corner to point out a spelling mistake in someone's username? If so, apologies. In my defence, it is German and I'm a German teacher! It's 'Schnitzel' not 'Schnizel' Von Krumm.

I imagine they'd post a photo with a caption saying
‘Wallah! My dophinwa potatoes - bone apple teeth, y'all!"

Chester Drawers is just pitiful. It should be Chester draws.

Pack lunch instead of packed lunch.

Text instead of texted. Where in shuddering hell did that come from??

I don't mind that one too much because it sounds like tex'd.

On This Farming Life, a sign saying Barb Wire. What is so difficult about the -ed? Like Box Set, which makes me gnash my teeth.

And similar to the moron physiotherapist who rang and talked about the Weight Room and Weight Time. I asked what size weights. No, she meant the waiting room and waiting time.