Am I right to punish my toddler if he’s weeing on things on purpose?

[mam1998]

My toddler is four the start of November. He’s fully toilet trained however lately he has been weeing on purpose and finds it funny. Taking him to bed tonight he he weed all over his bed before putting his nighttime pull up on. She we’ve taken away his toys and sat him on the naughty step. We have started punishing him for weeing and I don’t know if we’re right in doing this? As I know people say don’t tell them off for weeing but I’m 99% sure he’s doing it on purpose and if that’s the case do we enforce punishment?

He is being naughty and is experiencing the consequences of his actions.
Rewards for being good might work better though. Marbles in a jar for the good, reward when jar reaches a certain level. Marbles removed when naughty.
Peeing all over his bed for the fun of it is definitely naughty.

At almost 4 he’s well past toddler age.
Is he doing it to get a reaction?

He is being “ naughty “ as in he’s doing it for the reaction. If you’re getting annoyed, making a fuss as you change the bed etc he’ll have picked up on that. It’s attention, and he will be enjoying that. Plus presumably bedtime is delayed.

I think you’d be better to simply and quietly clean him, the bed or whatever he has peed on, do not make a fuss and as suggested reward him for not doing it. A star chart, or marbles with a very small reward for 3 days in a row or whatever. This will help reset the habit, as will lots of positive reinforcement around him being a big boy now.

I honestly would not call him a toddler - preschooler. As for punishing I do think there should be a consequence or at least a threat though some will disagree.

@HappySummerDaysI just thought nursery age was toddlers that’s all. And I really don’t know I think maybe he has done it tonight to try and avoid bed or prolong bedtime. But yesterday he weed on the sofa because he thought it was funny this morning instead of going on the toilet he aimed at the bathroom door and weed against it

@MsPavlichenkothanks for the feedback I will try this :)

Try really hard to mute your reaction to it. A consequence is important and make sure you talk quietly, in a deeper tone and down at his level rather than an instinctive shriek of "Oh no, stop doing that". It might help to reduce the fun of the experience for him.

You are better off ignoring it, staying calm, saying something like ‘wees are for the toilet only, you need to help clean this up’ and get him to help you clean up, like get wipes, spray etc.
Does he want more control over his toileting? Does he still need the pull up? If you have a garden you can say if you want to do a stand up wee - you can do it against a tree?

Natural consequence. If he wees on his bed, he can change the sheets himself. He wees on the floor, he can clean it up himself. Don’t get upset, or tell him off, just point out what has to be done after weeing somewhere other than the toilet, and ensure he does it.

Punishing with naughty step delays bedtime and first attention. From one point of view he wins. Get him to help clean up but also work out why he is seeking attention,even negative .Sounds like there is an underlying issue .

He's not a toddler. And 100% you tell him off and have him help clean up. But don't don't fuss or he'll do it for attention. Quick correction, speedy tidy up and move along. Not a big deal, he'll probably grow out of it very soon

Why is he wearing a pullup at night at 4?

The consequence I'd give is for him to bring his own bedding to the washing machine and sleep without bedding or with a minimum of bedding that night. If he pees on the floor he would have to clean it all up himself with paper towels, then a thorough hand washing. Toys and books would be thrown out if peed on. Furniture - he brings cushion covers amd slipcover to the washing machine. Child has to apologise.

Does he go to nursery? Does he do this stunt there?

PTF as 3yo has taken up rage weeing this week.

If he keeps it up in his bedroom move to doing the pull up in the bathroom before going to bedroom to break the cycle.

Perfectly normal for an almost 4 year old to not be dry at night. The overnight pull up is fine.
And oh my god you can't make a 3 year old sleep without bedding. What is wrong with you?

💯

I would be making it very clear if they want play silly games they win silly prizes.

Also buy simple solution dog enzyme spray it will improve your life re: the piss

Making a child sleep with no bedding is abuse. Plain and simple .This is a pre school child.

As others have said, switch the focus, he wees anywhere other than the toilet, he has to help clear it up. Keep calm, no shouting, no naughty step, bedtime routine gets cut short not made longer (,for example he doesn't have a story if he does this) doing time out at bedtime never works (mine is 23 now but he'd always try to stretch bedtime out)
Also, why is he still wearing a pull up at 4? Is there a medical reason? If not then reduce the amount he's drinking before bed and take off the pull up, because it also sounds like he's not associating weeing in the bed as being smelly and wet.

You are an abuser.

nice.

This is a good idea.

Taking toys away seems way too harsh.

He’s only 3 he wants to have fun, id try make going to the toilet more fun (stickers, toys, rewards, a target to pee on etc) and peeing on stuff annoying - oh now we have to clean it up, get him to help you (I know that’s harder than just cleaning it yourself)
rather than punishing him for weeing, or taking his toys away, I’d go more natural consequences, ie now there’s pee to clean up.

also you’re only 99% sure he’s going it on purpose, and he’s still wearing pull ups so you’re also not sure that he’s got full bladder control yet, so for that reason I’d definitely not punish him.

Yes, he could be even pretending he did it on purpose.

@Digdongdoo

It isn't normal for a nearly four year old to be wet at night.

I’m surprised @mathanxiety hasn’t suggested he be made sleep on urine soaked sheets.