On becoming Mary Poppins... Toddler and newborn support thread #2

[ThePinkNinja]

A place to continue the complaining conversation about the hair pulling days and sleepless nights fun and frolics of life with a toddler and newborn

[MonstersDontCry]

Hi can I join? DD is 23 months and I had DS 11 days ago. DP goes back to work on Tuesday and I'm terrified!

[debbie1412]

Monsters you will be fine, it has a few hairy moments but it'll psn out in the end.9 months in an I think we are settled... Wings clipped slightly but ploughing through it won't last forever x

[crazypaving]

hey monsters, same age gap here! you will be fine. you'll figure out survival techniques and get through. my biggest help was a Moby wrap - ds2 lived in it for the first 6m of his life.

we're just 10m in and although sleep still isn't cracked sadly, the daytimes have felt easier just lately. always nervous of statements like that as it doesn't take much to tip everything back into chaos...

[debbie1412]

Oh lord, both kids been up and down since 3.30am resulting in all 3 of us downstairs since 5.30am. Ds on coming down stairs decided to face plant the last 5 stairs. Today is going to be a riot. Happy Monday yummy mummy's ...yawn !

[Mummy2NJ]

Hey mummy's,

Just touching base things pretty much the usual round here.
Hope everyone had a great weekend

Debbie I hope your day turned out ok after the 5:30 start! X

[MonstersDontCry]

What age gap do you have Debbie? I haven't been able to read the whole thread as I'm on my phone. I hope your day got better after your 5am start!

Good to hear about people further on than me! DD has taken to DS really well. There doesn't seem to be any jealous so far. Is this likely to change? Hope not!

Really need to get a sling soon.

[MonstersDontCry]

Sorry, me again!

When did you first take both DC out by yourself?

[debbie1412]

Hiya, we have an age gap of 26 months. I started taking them out on my own right from the start before the demons set in. Second child was born in the winter so we spent the 1st few months in soft play centres. I always met friends so that I had extra pair of hands. To be honest it's easier to go out than stay at home x

[PandamoniMum]

I'm hoping this is the perfect place to post this as you're all where I'm about to be! (Sorry message is sooo long!!!)

I recently found out I'm pregnant (7 weeks) with DC2 - DS1 is 22 months old and a bit of a handful (to put it mildly)! I'm feeling all sorts of confused - excited about being pregnant but terrified I won't be able to cope with a new baby plus the adorable, mischievous monkey that is DS1!

Following a difficult labour (induction, 31hr labour followed by emergency c-section), DS1 had colic and reflux so he screamed almost 24/7, never went to sleep unless he was on me until 18 weeks, slept max 3 hrs in 24 (had permanent black circles under both of our eyes) and it's a time I look back on and still shudder. I also fought to breastfeed as I have allergies and wanted to lower his risk of getting them but my milk production was low so he fed for 4-8 hrs at a time and I was always expressing from the other boob at the same time so not enjoyable at all. In fact I remember things only became more bareable when he reached about 15 months... Anyway...

My concern fear is that I have a similar experience with DC2 and will have to go through it all with with a mischievous (very heavy handed) toddler who needs watching like a hawk too.

I'm hoping I'm not the only one who's had anxieties about this - it would be great to hear from other mums about how you're feeling or how it all turned out!

Thanks!

[debbie1412]

Pan- I think their is anxiety with any baby on the way although its different second time round because you have to juggle abit more.
30 months is a good age gap your dc will have abit more understanding and will hopefully quite well.
I had a bad 1st labour very good second labour, I also recovered almost imediatley from it.
Dc2 also slept 3-4 hour stints unlike dc1 who fed every 2 hours for months.
Although now 9 months in her sleep is shocking as dc1 at 9 months went through every night without fail.
Dc2 breast fed horribly for the 1st 10 weeks I was so sore dc1 fed no problem.
My point being is. Theirs no point spending 9 months panicking about something you don't know will happen. This new baby will prob have its own set of hurdles to jump which will be completely different to your 1st born.
It's very true when they say you never get 2 the same. You will cope and you'll love the baby just as much.
Does your dc1 go to nursery ??? I found that helped me an awful lot still does now tbh.
My dc2 also had a lot more formula milk than dc1 had. She's a happy healthy baby. I got so down breast feeding second time round I stopped at 4 months. It worked for us.
Try not to worry, I know it's hard but you'll find away x

[Mummy2NJ]

Hi Panda

I would have said exactly what Debbie said. There is 17 months age gap between mine, so it was a lot harder for DS2 to understand what was actually happening.

I'm yet to meet a parent of two or more, who says they have had the same experience with their DCs.
My point being they are all very different. I also had a pretty long and intense labour with DS1. I started off with an induction that lasted 2 and half days, ended up with an emergency c section. Baby was in special care for a week I had initial problems with breast feeding but mastered that and breastfed for 16months!!! (All theough my pregnancy with ds2) He had reflux and on all the medication they could possibly prescribe for it. He has a huge personality and with that comes extreme naughtiness and gigantic dramatised tantrums!!!
He is pretty hard work and very demanding!
Having said that he started sleeping through the night at 7 months apart from obviously when he was ill or teething.

DS2 on the other hand very streightforwards planned CSection he was a healthy baby took him home after two nights in hospital took to breast feeding streight away still is now. He is a pretty content baby, will happily play only fusses when he is hungry sleepy or needs a nappy change. But at 9 months still has not gone through the night even once!! Wakes up every two hours, till this day I'm lucky if he goes for 3!!

So I wouldn't worry if I were you, just enjoy the thought of having a new addition to your family and being pregnant

[debbie1412]

Mummy2nj dd also 9 months her sleep is shocking at the mo. glad I'm not on my own x

[Mummy2NJ]

Debbie,
Such a relief to know in not alone.
Last night i lost count he was up so much it honestly don't know how I make it through the day after having No sleep.

[debbie1412]

Is yours moving around much?? Mine just sits there doesn't attempt to crawl or pull herself up. She uses her walker brilliantly but solo she's like a 6 month old. My son walked at 10.5 months it's really strange having 1 so lazy x

[PandamoniMum]

Thanks ladies, I appreciate the feedback! I don't think I was expecting DC2 to be the same tbh, but unless I have a golden child, worried about coping with demands of two. But you all have done with equally challenging tots (and no sleep in the case of mummy2nj)! Just hope I can do as well!

[Mummy2NJ]

Hi Debbie,

Your Ds was a real early walker!!!!
Ds1 walked unaided from nearly 12months
DS2 moves around way too much. I wish he would keep still you know once they start that's it!!! I've decided to get a playpen just so I can contain him, and keep them separate for when I go to the loo or start the cooking as he is into everything he stands and uses his push walker. I now have a constant battle I feel like I'm a referee rather then a mother they fight over toys even a peace of paper and in the bath too!!
Believe me once she starts moving around you will wish she stayed stationary!! That's how I feel.

The whole sleep thing is starting to take its toll on me.
What is your bedtime routine for her? Is there something I could change to help DS2 sleep better
I try and not let him nap after 3pm
We aim to get home for 4pm if we have been out in the afternoon.
Dinner is 4:30 or 5pm
Bath at 6pm
I will then breastfeed and rock Ds2 until he falls asleep, this can take up to an hour on days when he isn't tied or about 30min or less on days when he is knakered.
He will sleep till about 10:30-11pm then wake up for a feed and it all goes downhill from there he. He will now wake up very regularly from 11pm sometimes every 3hours some every 2hrs but the past three days its been every 1.5 hours!!!

I used to do the same with ds1 when he was a baby, but at 8 months he started feeding for ages so I I decided to introduced bottle feeds for his bedtime milk he would drink the bottle then go on the breast streight afterwards as comfert I think. He would then on a bad day wake up once and in a good day sleep through apart from sick, teething days.

Please excuse the grammar/spelling and punctuation I write my posts while in bed at night on my phone x

[MonstersDontCry]

I'm so glad I'm bot the only one with non sleeping children. Everyone I know in RL has babies that sleep through. DC1 has never regularly slept through the night. She normally sleeps through about once a fortnight. Last night she woke up 3 times and DS woke up 5 times (one of those times was for 2 hours) I'm literally falling asleep already.

DP can't help much as DD will just scream if he goes to her at night and I'm breastfeeding DS. Ah well. One day I might get a decent nights sleep!

[MonstersDontCry]

Oh and panda, I had the same worries as you when I found out I was pregnant. DD was an absolute nightmare baby. Things weren't helped by my PND. I had myself convinced that this baby was going to be the same. But I was so wrong! I forget DS is here most of the time because he's the complete opposite of DD. I really wouldn't worry as, like others have said, every baby is different. Congratulations on your pregnancy by the way!

[debbie1412]

Dare I say it. We have had a good day. Can u believe our newborns are approaching their 1st birthday. 11 weeks away for lily. Doesn't seem possible x

[Mummy2NJ]

Good for you Debbie! Our day hasn't been that bad just lack of sleep has made me really irritable and extremely tired.
I still cannot believe my little baby boy is soon to be 1 too it saddens me how fast he is growing!!
It's about 11 weeks for my ds too
His birthday is on the 25th October when is your DD?

[debbie1412]

November 5th it's coming around so quick x

[Mummy2NJ]

Feel like I've missed him as a baby it's gone so quick.
What did you do for you DS first birthday? I'm kind of unsure on what to do this time round! It's making me feel guilty if I don't throw him a party like we did like ds1

[debbie1412]

Ahhhhh I've made more of dd being a baby, I've enjoyed it more should I say. 1st birthday at total loss what to do dc1 birthday was massive. Il also feel bad if I don't make it the same. He was a September baby we had it at the house and used the garden. Dc2 she's November .... Can't really use the garden and house gets trashed. Might copy the cake, banner on the house balloons and decs but keep the people smaller???!

[Mummy2NJ]

Thats my problem too. Ds1 was born in the summer end of May so weather was great for garden party but DS2 being end October ill struggle having a house party as although we have a good sized garden the house itself is not being enough to host a part. We hired a soft play for DS2 2nd party but I know DH will never agree to this. Guilt guilt guilt is eating me up!! I don't want him to look at pics when he is older and feel like he got less of a celebration!

[debbie1412]

Someone give me a kick up the arse. I don't want to be a mum at the moment and I can't drag myself out of this shitty feeling...finding the whole bloody thing very tedious and patience sapping.