On becoming Mary Poppins... Toddler and newborn support thread #2

[ThePinkNinja]

A place to continue the complaining conversation about the hair pulling days and sleepless nights fun and frolics of life with a toddler and newborn

Can I join this thread too please? I have a 2year old and a 12 week old. Today has been terrible, one disaster to another! It's not over yet. DP isn't home till 8pm and I've realised I've run out of nappies

offcolour, I also get the 'you don't have to do it, I will' then nothing materialises and I get so fed up with waiting I do it anyway.

I'm currently amusing myself watching DH trying to get really angry DS2 to sleep - he hasn't napped all day so is REALLY impossible to settle and I refuse to intervene even though he is walking up and down right in front of me.

lovely I hope you went out to get the nappies and took the long way home for a few minutes peace!

It's so annoying giddy, because it denies that you're actually one who has to do everything!

Happy today as have lost 21 llbs! Only 2 lbs away from getting myself out of "obese" bmi and into "overweight". Have been in obese since early 20s so feels like a big achievement. Then once i've lost these next 2 lbs only another 28lbs (!!!!!) to go till I'm not overweight! My size 16 jeans are starting to get baggy :-)

21lb offcolour! bloody hell, well done you!

offcolour that is fantastic! Well done!

Thanks guys .

I must say that I'm getting a bit sick of chicken salad and carrot sticks. But am ploughing on in an attempt to get to bmi of 24!

Off well done you :-) I'm on for a good loss (hopefuly ) at slimming world this wk as I have been religious with my diet. I def won't be yummy mummy summer but il be yummy mummy autum/winter . If I get to target I'm treating myself to a new wardrobe x

Have you tried making veggie chili it's all fat free,filling, and freezes x

I haven't, made lean mince chilli the other day though, with baked sweet potato to cut down on carbs. I should try the veggie chilli though. All that's stopped me is I know dd will eat the mince one, she doesn't eat quorn fake chicken!

I also eat lean meat mince tescos do a extra lean, or if I've been really bad il buy turkey mince. Way better than quorn :-)

Yeah, it's extra lean I buy! Hadn't thought of turkey mince.

Another lb off today, 1 lb to go to get out of obese! And ds has been sleeping so much better .

Pops in and waves hello....

Figured this is probably the best place to ask some questions I have about having baby # 2. Our DC1 is now 9 months old. DH says he would LIKE to have 2+ years between but I am feeling broody broody!!!

We are just finally getting our sex life back on track, as I was stitches quite tight .

So although we are not trying, we are not exactly preventing either. Have not had a cycle yet and am still breastfeeding so chances of anything happening are probably somewhat low.

Ok so questions now that you know a bit about me...

Did any of you get pregnant before having a period after DC1? If so, how did you know you were pregnant or did you just keep MENTALLY POAS?

Does you toddler still nap, how old are your children, and are you able to get a nap at the same time with DC2? Daytime naps SAVED my sanity with DC1 not sure how I would do the newborn thing again without naps.

And finally did you have a reasoning behind the spacing of your children?

Sorry if you have been over this all already but trying to go back and read more of the thread....

hi beeble you hear me moaning about all this far too much on fb I'm sure...

I had 5 periods between ds1 and pg. they came back when ds1 was about 9m.

23m age gap. ds1 still naps and by some miracle most days I get them to nap at the same time. trouble with small babies is the unpredictability of nap length, so only getting possibly one 20-30min sleep at the same time in the early days, which was no use for sleeping as you just have to get stuff done when you have 2.

reasoning for age gap - similar to my gap with my brother, and I'm not a fan of the baby stage so wanted to get it over and done with quickly.

what I would say is, if you can get dc1 into some form of regular childcare for when you have dc2, be that nursery, preschool or school, or maybe relatives, it will save. your. sanity.

I wouldn't have wanted a smaller gap - I think it's nice to enjoy dc1 while they're an only, and having them slightly more independent, ie walking, talking a bit, does make a difference.

hth!

ds2 slept til 7 this morning with some persuasion from ewan the sheep. thing is, it's thrown his naps out of kilter. obviously sleeping til 7 is the goal, but then he needs a mid-morning and mid-afternoon nap, rather than crack of dawn and after lunch. this is no good to me! we have to go out! and I need my after-lunch peace to mumsnet do housework! what do you all do?

Hi, not really part of this thread at all, I'm a lurker rather than a poster and have been following it since the start. I have a little boy just turned 2, a little star really til his 2nd birthday when he became the master of tantrums. I also have a little girl, coming up to ten months, she's a little star now her reflux has been sorted, has been fully weaned (tho no longer takes any milk and I have to sneak it in porridge, weetabix and all other manner of foods) and can crawl.
Just replying to beeblebear really, to answer some questions.
We didn't actively try for another baby. We always said we wanted a sibling for our eldest but didn't expect it to happen quite so soon. I had only just started my cycle again and felt I was getting my life back again, had returned to work etc, when I found I was pg again. It was a bit of a shock.
Before I caught on with my daughter, and throughout the pregnancy, people kept going on about how hard 2 under 2 is. Don't get me wrong it is hard, prob the most difficult job I've ever done, but it's not as bad as people led me to believe. She had reflux and pretty much screamed morning til night for the 1st 4 months of her life but that was counted by the fact that she was, and is, a great sleeper: she slept thru from 3wks old.
My son, I think because he was so young, just seemed to take it all in his stride and accepted his sister with little fuss. It's great now she's bigger and they play together, she follows him around and generally tries to do whatever he's doing! It's a fab way of showing him the art of sharing and giving... not an easy thing for a 2yr old to grasp!
In terms of naps, because he was only 17 months when dd was born ds still had/has a daytime nap and I always try to time the eldest's routines so that their naptimes overlap at lunchtime, meaning I get a delightful 2hrs of peace everyday. I use this to catch up on sleep or household chores, whichever is most pressing.
What I'm trying to say is that, if you're going to have a 2nd child, doing it young and having a small age gap isn't as bad as some people make it out to be. In many ways, on my experience at least, it's great and better than having a larger gap. Thinking about it now, I can't imagine having one at school and then starting all over again with nappies and feeding and broken sleep etc, getting it all over and done with in one go seems more sensible!

Doing it *whist your eldest is still young and having a small age gap...etc

Hi Crazy!!! Nice to see a familiar face in here.

I think we all probably desire something for our children that we didn't have. My brother and I are 8 years apart and are not all that close. Hardly talk or see each other despite living 3 hours away.

I am in the mindset that yes it might suck to have a small age gap in the beginning but I imagine the benefits down the road.. Will be in the same school for quite a few years, can share some of the same toys and be involved in the same sports groups or play groups, be playmates to one another since we are in the country and don't really have any neighbors with babies.

exactly, beeble - I'm in it for the long-term gain. where I can sit back drinking gin while the boys play harmoniously together could happen!!

Hi beeble,

I've got a 2 yr 4 month gap between dd and ds. Dd almost 3 and ds 7 months.

Can't remember about periods but if definitely had a few!

We'd always planned to have at least 2 and originally I'd planned a 2 yr age gap so I'd have them both before I was 35 (worried about fertility). Then when I found it so difficult with dd I decided to plan for more like a three year age gap.... But we weren't really doing anything to stop a baby coming along so ds arrived 2 weeks after my 35th birthday.

I've found the first 6 months really tough, mostly due to sleep deprivation, potty training and difficult behaviour from dd. dd stopped napping while I was in the third trimester so no chance of catching up on sleep during the day. Dd is at nursery 2 days a week which was a life saver.

Personally I would have had a bigger age gap, dd at pre school ideally. But further down the line I might say something different if they play together beautifully! And I do think there's something to be said for getting it over and done with quickly!!

God this heat is a nightmare. Ds is being so grouchy, woke up early from naps and is just screaming literally every 30 seconds. He won't sit nicely, just keeps trying to crawl and getting furious he can't. My head is pounding and I am either going to lose my temper or cry or both.

Hello lovely ladies,Lils 8.5 months is making no effort to crawl yet. She's reluctant to do tummy time so she doesn't get much opportunity to pratice. What should I do. Persist with the tummy time even tho she hates it. Or just chill out x

Do you want to swap Debbie? Ds is driving me potty. Nappy changes are a nightmare because he immediately rolls onto his tummy and tries to crawl. Dd was much more co-operative!

I would chill out, they don't all crawl and I guess there's not much you can do anyway, they do it all at their own pace.

Debbie I'd say don't worry about it too. babies do things at their own pace. some don't ever crawl, just go straight to walking! ds2 is 9m and only just started sort of crawling forward a little bit today!

Is cutting her head of and boiling it tonight.

Ds has slept through 3 out of the last 5 nights..... Am really hoping that this is the beginning of the end of getting up in the middle of the night.....

I actually feel more tired, does your body suddenly realise how sleep deprived it's been and start demanding that you make up the sleep deficit?!?! Or am I just normal, looking after 2 under 3 tired now?

Hi can I join please! Have only read a bit but it is nice to know I am not alone in facing the madness! I have Ds1, who is 4 and has cerebral palsy so needs a lot of extra help, Ds2 who will be 2 on Sunday, and DD who is 2 weeks old today... At the moment I have my parents staying during the week thank god (DH back at work after one week and is usually out of the house from 7.30am to at least 8.30pm) but even with three of us, one per child it is challenging so god knows how I will cope when it is me on my own!

Although Ds1 requires a lot of physical help, actually DS2 is the most difficult at the moment, quite understandably as he has been my baby for the last two years and had me to himself a lot while Ds1 is at nursery so his little world has been turned upside down and he is obviously stressed. Has been taking three hours to get him to bed the last couple of weeks but tonight we seemed to have a breakthrough and he went down without trouble... I don't know how to deal with his constant "no's" though - for instance he will ask for something - eg shoes on or the potty or something, then when i oblige just stands there saying "no" - so i then remove the offending object only to result in increasingly hysterical "no's". Sometimes he just stands there saying "no" repeatedly at me for apparently no reason. If I'm really lucky he might then emphasise the point by flinging himself on the floor and smacking his head a few times... sigh