How much do you 'ignore' your children?

[Gameboy]

Have just been out with two families - friends of ours- who have kids about the same age, and I have to confess, I am amzed by the extent to which they actively 'ignore' their children trhoughout the whole afternoon.

By this I mean they seem to 'zone out' from all the various requests/ questions/ constant 'to-ing and fro-ing' that seems typical of under- 6s??

As a result they actively seem to enjoy themselves more, manage to have 'adult' conversations (which I gave up years ago )and it seems that their kids eventually give up and go and sort out themselves whatever it is they want....( which seems like a good thing I suppose)

I can't decide whether I'm just a mug with my kids and let them dominate my life too much... but I simply CAN'T ignore them - it seems really rude and uncaring somehow??

No,I don't think I would have enjoyed it either-in fact I've only been criticised a couple of times for being a tad rude and I burst into tears and didn't post for a few days!!
I'm a blubber baby at heart and have never been able to take critisicm so I would have buckled at around the 30th post!!
You have a GREAT deal of stamina,I must say!

In fact i thought the idea of having an evidence based philosophy of childcare was so odd that I tried to start a thread on it but it has gone down like the proverbial!!!

Funny you should mention Bloss, PB, she came to mind for me when Nightnight posted.

The reason people don't get angry with Bloss, is that she explains coherently and cogently, what her reasoning is for smacking. You may agree or disagree with her, but it's very obvious that she's thought about it very carefully, has been through all the options, and has decided that this works for her family. Bloss doesn't say "I do it because I choose to" she says I do it because of xyz philosophy. So even if you don't agree with her, you understand her argument. Whereas Vaunda hasn't really presented a philosophical argument. (Not that she has to, of course, it's entirely up to her what she posts on the www, but if people are genuinely trying to understand her views, then "that's the way I do it" is not very enlightening. Whereas Bloss's posts always are.)

hey what happened to the conversation about dogs saying woof woof, bow bow or grrrrr (I still maintain they say Mieow)

Vaunda is NOT having a good day-has started a Bereavement thread.

Caligula,
I did try to explain and really there is no reason for the way i bring my cheeky chimp up other than that is how life started out for him. I then did have problems when he was a lot smaller getting him to do "kiddy" things. If i had not recieved such a shouting down i could have explained this but hey thats life. Now he is a very happy well adjusted chimp and y'know what i am proud of him for one reason only......
he is my son regardless of what he can or can't do.

Dropinthe,
i just needed to talk to someone/no-one about how i feel today.......mega

I may be missing a trick or two here, but hasn't this thread got seriously out of hand?

I have skim read it and really don't like the idea that there have been numerous specific hints dropped about specific children in a primary school...several personal/family references to a child related to Marslady, or perhaps other 'davids' in the school. I honestly think it should be deleted.

And the more Vaunda is challenged, the more of these references to this child (I don't mean hers) she will make.

Jeeeeeso!
Are we all under pressure now to only post "philosophical" opinions and statements in order to be taken seriously????

I have only read parts of this thread.... basically coz its MASSIVE! But the snobbery and contradiction here is rife. Some people should really practice what they preach.... naming no names obviously.

Vaunda has had a hard time on this thread, but has stayed here and calmly answered the many questions barked at her!

Well said Toothy!!

AND the threads started with her name in the title stating they were threads to concentrate on the boring thread about Vaundas life was just catty, petty and IMO bang out of order!! There are many threads on the go that you could read instead of this one!!! Just WHY would you start one like that if it wasn't to cause upset1

I didn't mention this yesterday as I had other things on my mind..... but seriously folks. I can't even remember who started the threads now, but it was low. And more like a childish bullying tactic than anything remotely like a mere distraction!!!!!!

Shame on you all..... I might even flounce....

I hope you feel even just a bit ashamed with the "Ooooooo come over to this thread and ignore Vaunda" tactic.

I actually reeling about this! Makes me see that there are some nasty nasty MNers.

I agree toothache

and i know how people get annoyed at posters posting I agree!!!

No we're not toothy, read my post properly. I was trying to articulate a reason to PB why Vaunda got such a response.

I personally don't really care - I happened to be avoiding work yesterday so got drawn into this bonkers thread. I long for the days of Milupa. But I'm determined not to post any more on this thread!

4!

NO FLOUNCING! STAND YOUR GROUND!

Blu,
just for the record I did not make any reference to any child but my own. Mars brought her nephew into it not me. Until she mentioned him i had no idea who he was. However I do know who he is now. (no nastiness mars)

Caligula,
i know nowt about milupa but i do about cow and gate

Ooh don't you dare!!!!

I'm not posting, I'm not posting, I'm not posting....

Not really having a flounce...

Caligula - My post was directed at many Mumsnetters..... too many to list!!! And I know I'll get lots of "I don't care what you think" posts!!! Doesn't matter.... I felt it needed said that sometimes there are posts on the site that shock and disgust me. The level that some people will stoop!

Oh Vaunda- don't go there- the thread would never end.... (I was away on hoiliday for most of milupa thank god)- although I did smile to myself whan I bought a carton of milupa ready made last week.

toothy my last post was at vaunda - re the cow and gate - I so don't want to go there too

La la la la, I'm not posting...

EXCUSE ME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (right now I've got your attention)

I thought this thread 'lightened' up last night and we were happily talking about what dogs say (and the fact that I'm a snob )

What happened??

Right been lurking for a while.

What posts are shocking and disgusting??

I have noticed a number that are harsh and many that are well considered and well thought out. Merely questioning what some feel have been indescrepancies (sp??)... whatis wrong with that?

People don't agree and have said so. Maybe some were less than tactful but that is normal is RL and online. I am sure if Vaunda had been really upset she would have stopped posting.

QoQ - Whether it lightened up or not doesn't change the fact that there were many posts that were bang out of order! I think Vaunda deserves an apology TBH! (not by you QoQ, althought there are many posts I've missed )

Weesaidie - So it was okay to go start that thread with Vaundas name in the title referring to this thread? Can't remember the exact titl, something about it being a thread to talk about something other than Vaundas boring life!!!.... and the thread appears to have been deleted, thankfully!

Thats what I'm referring to, but can't find the thread to post on it.

Just thought that was below the belt playground tactics.