How much do you 'ignore' your children?

[Gameboy]

Have just been out with two families - friends of ours- who have kids about the same age, and I have to confess, I am amzed by the extent to which they actively 'ignore' their children trhoughout the whole afternoon.

By this I mean they seem to 'zone out' from all the various requests/ questions/ constant 'to-ing and fro-ing' that seems typical of under- 6s??

As a result they actively seem to enjoy themselves more, manage to have 'adult' conversations (which I gave up years ago )and it seems that their kids eventually give up and go and sort out themselves whatever it is they want....( which seems like a good thing I suppose)

I can't decide whether I'm just a mug with my kids and let them dominate my life too much... but I simply CAN'T ignore them - it seems really rude and uncaring somehow??

oh and FWIW Magnolia had a bunch of us "lay in" to her (well not really in OUR opinion but hey ) and now she can't drag herself away from this place now

QoQ, yep you is a snob lol

this thread is HILAIRIOUS! Vaunda, you are priceless, you should have your own website. I should have been in bed ages ago after a very long day but i just couldnt tear myself away! this thread could become addictive.

Empress whenever I see your name, I always think of the Empress of Blandings.

sorry.

Vaunda does have her own website Haven't you seen it?

Vaunda,

thank you for such a long and informative reply. Actually, it tends to reiterate my point.

You have repeated at length what you have done and justified it once again with no more than
" ... my way of doing things"
"this is ... my way of raising my son "

I think that you have got so much stick Vaunda, not because people enjoy ganging up on someone who is different, but because you appear so sure of yourself, in fact fairly ruthless. You haven't revealed an underlying philosophy, or an ability to use facts to come to a logical conclusion.
Most mumsnetters justify unusual opinions, and win converts, by quoting from scientific studies, or articles that they read in the press, or a religious text, or their 15 years experience of working with elderly people. Not just their own opinion.

My children are always asking Why? and seeking justification for how we do things in our family, and dx and I explain the reasons to them. I find rather scary, the thought of bringing up a child based only on the philosopy that you have revealed here, in the course of a rather in depth examination of your approach to child-rearing, because it seems to amount to little more than a belief that your opinion is right.

That is what makes me uneasy about your posts. That, and the fact that you have apparently given away so much information about yourself.

Message withdrawn

Salut gggg!

Going back to the original question and noting V's uncertainty during the raising of it I would like to propose that ignoring kids is very useful because:

1. it does allow much needed adult time, to refresh, to tend to adult relationships and to continue to grow ourselves in non-child related ways

2. it promotes novel thought and play for the individual child and ditto between children and allows for the creativity we need from the next generation - not the simple perpetuation of our view of things

3. it teaches children about the real world, in that the world is not de facto interested in them, but that they must have their own resources and interests to survive and thrive in it. There will be less crash and burn, shock-horror when a child starts school and finds that the world does not answer their every interest immediately, fully or concentratedly.

Therefore it is not rude and uncaring. It is a realistic life skill being taught (3) amongst other the benefits of (1) and (2).

First person to say '4' to me gets a virtual bouquet

xx

yes, I agree merryberry, and on this philosophy, my children will all turn out as geniuses.

Message withdrawn

It is also really useful for reinforcing hierachy. I am alpha in my house and I wouldn't want any child to forget it.

No

roses lilies or daffs, ggglimpopo ?

nice one triceratops. i am mother, hear me roar

off you go and overcompensate then mummypumpkin!

cackle<

mine's just woken so I'm off to do same...

I think this thread should be up for the biggest witchunt in the history of Mumsnet.
I think Vaunda is a real life Mumsnetter having looked at her past posts who got caught up,albeit voluntarily and with great enthusiasm,in a multi-layered topic of convo.
She took a large amount of abuse yesterday and was lynched to a great height by alot of people who enjoy this kind of thing.
I do think she enjoyed it too,especially as she is fairly new to Mumsnet.
Her views are hers-mine are mine-yours are yours!
Is that not what Mumsnet is about?

I think this thread should be up for the biggest witchunt in the history of Mumsnet.
I think Vaunda is a real life Mumsnetter having looked at her past posts who got caught up,albeit voluntarily and with great enthusiasm,in a multi-layered topic of convo.
She took a large amount of abuse yesterday and was lynched to a great height by alot of people who enjoy this kind of thing.
I do think she enjoyed it too,especially as she is fairly new to Mumsnet.
Her views are hers-mine are mine-yours are yours!
Is that not what Mumsnet is about?

Bloody mouse!

yes, chuffin mouse! aaaaaah that's my quota of that word done for the day. agree, dropinthe,

People have attacked Vaunda for standing by her way of bringing up her child. They say it is not normal that she has not acknowledged other people's points of views. Yet if you read what she has said, she has jsut descirbed what she does with her own child and has acknowledged that if she had another one, her views might change.

Yet other Mumsnetters with strong views, who consistently defend them, are allowed their viewpoint. Bloss, with her views on smacking, comes to mind. She consistently describes what works for her and how she is continuiong the example set by her parents, and won't be swayed in that view (and FWIW, I happen to agree with her). It's not a popular opinion, but no-one attacks her as a troll.

Even little things like her son watching and loving Harry Potter at 3 have been questioned. Yet my ds watched and loved Harry Potter at 3. In fact, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets was the first film he ever went to see at a cinema: at 3. (He'd already seen and loved the first one on video). And no, he wasn't scared by the spiders (although I was! )

It des make me wonder where the friendly, supportive Mumsnet that I first came across 4 years ago is, when we are so suspicious that people that are "different" are trolls.

Dropinthe,
i did enjoy posting i did not however enjoy the flak i recieved.
I am fairly new to this but up until now i have enjoyed being here.
Someone (can't remember who) said earlier i had not provided any reason as for why i bring my son up the way I do, well the reason is that is how i chose to parent and that i don't expect all parents to be the same.....

anyways my tea is getting cold and i need to drink it.
catcha all on the flipside.

My ds,who is three and a half, has been enjoying The Lord if the Rings lately! I said to Dh that those orks were bloody horrible but he hardly noticed them!

Now kick the stall from under my feet and let me swing!

I agree with those comments.