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Original poster

I am sitting in with Shiney and her plumber has just texted her to say

536 replies

BitOfFun · 12/12/2009 23:55

...from "Hello, hope you're well, if i don't see you beforehand, hope you have a nice Christmas"

after a brief comment along the lines of "You'll be pleased to know my plumbing is in full working order" (possibly with my evil encouragement...), he has now replied saying

" I want to kiss with tongues. I want to kiss, stroke, lick and suck boobs and nipples. I want to gently stroke the inside of thighs." There is more, but I'm sure you can imagine...

What?!

Any thighs and nipples? Not hers in particular then? I am hoping she will send back "I want to suck penises"...do you dare us?

OP posts:
spookycharlotte121 · 13/12/2009 01:13

i think you need to change his contact name on your mobile to something more appropriate. something bum related!

expatinscotland · 13/12/2009 01:14

yeah. instead of plumber, bummer.

YouKnowStuffingIsForLunch · 13/12/2009 01:14

He knows he's gay and desperate for a lovely bumming, right?

Bless him.

dizzycringles · 13/12/2009 01:14

Sazz does that count as one of your ExcerSazzing?!?

RumourOfAHurricane · 13/12/2009 01:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

YouKnowStuffingIsForLunch · 13/12/2009 01:16

What happened to a good-old-fashioned flicking of the bean?

PoppityMerryGentlemen · 13/12/2009 01:16

I KNEW it, that virtual cock was heading for a bumhole all along!

Original poster
BitOfFun · 13/12/2009 01:16

ROFLing at hairymelon's man with a plan...I have only managed to find two gherkins and some sprouts- will that do, do you think?

OP posts:
spookycharlotte121 · 13/12/2009 01:16

lol.... he has deffo been watching too much porn. your supposed to have come half a douzen times by his workings and have "squited" 3 times..... me thinks he is one GIANT PERVE

SazzlesOnASled · 13/12/2009 01:17

You see, you have to jump up again - like a personal trainer he is really. Just with added bits and errr squirting

dizzycringles · 13/12/2009 01:17

BitOfFun its a bit of a poor effort vegetable wise but at least its seasonal

hairymelons · 13/12/2009 01:17

Peas for the nostrils

YouKnowStuffingIsForLunch · 13/12/2009 01:18

This is the point where you text back:-

"Clit?! You meant to send this to my wife?! You sick fuck! (Text me)"

SazzlesOnASled · 13/12/2009 01:18

I reckon you could fashion a quorn fillet into a carrot shape

dizzycringles · 13/12/2009 01:19

Stuffing, thats a very good point, has there been any mention of boobs at all? I mean I'm pretty sure Shiney has a fine pair

PoppityMerryGentlemen · 13/12/2009 01:19

Yes Queed Crunch

ok, fanjo- cucumber
bumhole- carrot
mouth- chocolate bar (one for the laydeez)
nostrils- asparagus

errm earholes- baby sweetcorn?

did I miss any?

AitchTwoToTangOh · 13/12/2009 01:19

hahahaha crunch
yes do that, i beg you
cos if you don=;t i fear this could get nasty

SparklyGothKat · 13/12/2009 01:19
Grin
SazzlesOnASled · 13/12/2009 01:20

I seem to recall some boobage early on before he got distracted down below

spookycharlotte121 · 13/12/2009 01:20

pfffftttt

RumourOfAHurricane · 13/12/2009 01:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

hairymelons · 13/12/2009 01:20

The gherkins would be perfect for the ears actually

Original poster
BitOfFun · 13/12/2009 01:21

He's back...

OP posts:
PoppityMerryGentlemen · 13/12/2009 01:22

Tell the man - THERE WILL BE NO CLIT LEFT

he's rubbed it to oblivion ffs

Vallhala · 13/12/2009 01:22

I don't often read 10 pages all the way through but it had to be done with this thread. I bet he always wins at playing Twister!

Please. PLEASE offer him a threesome with your rugby playing husband!

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