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Original poster

Oh bollocks. I've just signed up to a series of kids activity sessions. I'm 37 and I don't have kids

205 replies

HighKicking · 13/07/2023 12:13

I'm a member of a martial arts club that do adult and children's classes.

They sent an email yesterday with different summer offers.

One of their offers was six activity sessions (martial arts based sessions and more general social sessions) over July and August. The activities are: A craft afternoon, A movie evening, A sparring workshop, A small-group training session, and A trip to a local adventure playground.

I thought it looked great and so I signed up.

Then I forwarded onto a friend who pointed out that it's for children to keep them entertained over the six weeks holidays. It's not intended for 37 year-old, professional, child-free women.

In my defense (geddit) - I've done loads of non-martial arts stuff with the women's class including craft evenings, book groups, trips out etc. Plus, I kind of forget that the club does children's classes because I'm never there when the kids are going in or out. So, I'm telling myself it was an easy mistake to make.

I need to ring the club and tell them I want to cancel but I feel like such a bloody twat.

I can't lie and tell them I booked it for a child who's changed their mind. They know I don't have a child. Bollocks.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
wholivesondrurylane · 13/07/2023 14:07

Lovesacake · 13/07/2023 14:06

I once made the same mistake with a synchronised swimming course. My friend and I were the only two adults in a pool full of small children, we styled it out but god knows what their parents thought of us thrashing around trying to look graceful 😂

😂😂😂

BlockedButWhy · 13/07/2023 14:08

Haha, this thread is so funny!

Speczy · 13/07/2023 14:13

Omg I'm crying. @Jigslaw please tell us what you made

PurpleButterflyWings · 13/07/2023 14:15

SUUUUUURE you accidently did it @HighKicking 😀😂

SauronsArsehole · 13/07/2023 14:24

HighKicking · 13/07/2023 12:13

I'm a member of a martial arts club that do adult and children's classes.

They sent an email yesterday with different summer offers.

One of their offers was six activity sessions (martial arts based sessions and more general social sessions) over July and August. The activities are: A craft afternoon, A movie evening, A sparring workshop, A small-group training session, and A trip to a local adventure playground.

I thought it looked great and so I signed up.

Then I forwarded onto a friend who pointed out that it's for children to keep them entertained over the six weeks holidays. It's not intended for 37 year-old, professional, child-free women.

In my defense (geddit) - I've done loads of non-martial arts stuff with the women's class including craft evenings, book groups, trips out etc. Plus, I kind of forget that the club does children's classes because I'm never there when the kids are going in or out. So, I'm telling myself it was an easy mistake to make.

I need to ring the club and tell them I want to cancel but I feel like such a bloody twat.

I can't lie and tell them I booked it for a child who's changed their mind. They know I don't have a child. Bollocks.

Lie. Tell them you signed up for a niece/nephew/friends kids as a gift to try out but they’re going to spend the summer with dad.

DysmalRadius · 13/07/2023 14:26

When I realised that the pond dipping at our local nature reserve was only for children, it was one of the catalysts for starting our family!!

Leftbutcameback · 13/07/2023 14:30

Best thread / OP I’ve seen in ages!

spiderlight · 13/07/2023 14:33

If it makes you feel any better, my friend went to sign up for spin classes at her local leisure centre and asked them whether she should bring her own spinning wheel and yarn or whether they would be provided.

EddieHowesShithousingMags · 13/07/2023 14:36

This thread has tickled me so much. I immediately thought of Rodney in the painting competition too.

Not quite the same but we went on holiday last year with DD (19) and DS (13). We booked an excursion for three adults and a child (u14’s) but talked between DH and i about ‘the kids’ and our ‘son and daughter’ and obviously somewhere down the line the message was received that it was us and two children.

Now DD is still quite fresh faced and petite but I wouldn’t say could pass for an under 14. The look on her face when the woman on the tour bus proudly presented her with a balloon and got her to pose for pictures with silly hats and join in the singalong of ‘one finger one thumb keep moving’ will live with me, DH, and DS forever 😂😂😂 she’s so polite though she just joined in and accepted her balloon all the while shooting us death stares.

The tour woman towards the end of the trip was chatting with us all and she was asking DS and DD about school and DD confessed she was about to start university. The poor woman was mortified and couldn’t stop apologising but she’d been told we were a party of four with two children. We thought it was hilarious 😂😂😂

lieselotte · 13/07/2023 14:40

Readyplayerthr33 · 13/07/2023 12:21

The adventure playground though? Really, what did you think that was about?

Aren't adults allowed in adventure playgrounds Grin

Before my ds started university we went to a local pool with flumes and when I went to my outdoor fitness class that evening people were surprised adults would want to go. There were other adults there and they didn't all have young kids with them.

Original poster
HighKicking · 13/07/2023 14:42

DaisyThistle · 13/07/2023 14:03

@HighKicking

Is this you?

Oh jeez, how did you get hold of my passport photo?!

OP posts:
Original poster
HighKicking · 13/07/2023 14:43

Synchronized swimming story is hilarious. And spinning made me howl.

I have to admit that when spinning first started appearing, I did thing it was like a hula-hooping class of some kind. Thankfully, I found out before I signed up that it was just pissing about on an exercise bike in a dark room.

OP posts:
billyt · 13/07/2023 14:44

@HighKicking

You need to identify as a six-year old.

Then go and have fun Grin

Original poster
HighKicking · 13/07/2023 14:45

billyt · 13/07/2023 14:44

@HighKicking

You need to identify as a six-year old.

Then go and have fun Grin

Wish there was a like button!

OP posts:
ODFOx · 13/07/2023 14:50

A friend and I went to a kite making workshop that turned out to be just for kids.
They let us stay and we had a lovely afternoon. Our kite wasn't the prettiest but it blew the best and I still have it nearly 30 years later: my DC have all flown it over the years: wooden skewers, floristry wire and recycled rip stop nylon from leftover tents or cagoules. To be fair the sticks and wires have been replaced and mended many times over the years but the concept and the fabric are original . I think because there were two of us we brazened it out. Could you rope in a friend OP?

deveronvalley · 13/07/2023 14:52

I was once the only parent who booked with their child for the pool session with the large inflatable (think mini Total Wipeout type thing) omg I had to do the swim test (!) with all the kids while their mums watched from the side 😳 I tried to slope off to the changing rooms but got called out by the lifeguard for not following the fucking covid one-way system and had to walk back round the other way in front of the spectator area 🤣

crumpet · 13/07/2023 14:58

My friend won a special prize for colouring in at the village beetle drive - the only adult who had entered what was a children’s competition…

forgotmyusername1 · 13/07/2023 14:59

maybe you could ask them if they need any adult helpers as it sounds like fun. but yeah get the money back

LovedFedAndNoonesDead · 13/07/2023 15:00

Why not contact the club secretary and say you wanted to make a grand gesture during the summer holiday so purchased the course for them to them offer on, free of charge (or half priced if a couple of kids), to a family in the club experiencing financial hardship or family difficulties? That way you’re not outing yourself as purchasing it for yourself or some nonexistent child relative

BarbieBunches · 13/07/2023 15:03

😂😂😂😂😂😂

JusthereforXmas · 13/07/2023 15:03

Lol.

TBF I have signed all of my kids up for a weekly forest school (everything from flower picking and bug spotting to den building and campfire songs) because it listed no ages anywhere (it asked their ages on sign up though and no ones said anything).

I hope its good for toddler through to full blown moody teen otherwise there goes our summer plans but I struggle to see how they can entertain 2 year olds and 15 year olds at the same time because I can't lol.

Chocolatesandroses · 13/07/2023 15:06

That’s so funny 🤣🤣🤣

BertieBotts · 13/07/2023 15:09

Ah just say you were tired and not paying attention :) They won't think you're a twat.

harriethoyle · 13/07/2023 15:27

This is incredible and has thoroughly cheered a very difficult day.

Thank you @HighKicking!!

AbraKedavra · 13/07/2023 15:36

Jigslaw · 13/07/2023 12:15

I signed up for a children's craft session once, due to the nature of it I didn't assume it was just for children...I didn't find out until I got there and they got me my own table to do it on. I still cringe about it now 😂

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2170299/

Bad Words (2013) ⭐ 6.6 | Comedy, Drama

1h 29m | R

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2170299

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