Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

Original poster

Stuff you think must happen to other people - but can't risk asking?

999 replies

IMissFrance · 03/02/2021 11:21

Anyone else have stuff happen to you that must happen to others.

But you can't really ask because what if they say "NO! How weird!" And then you can never talk to that person again. Wink

So I'm bringing it to the anonymity of Mumsnet.

I'd love to hear other peoples. And will start off.

  • whenever I wash my hair in the shower (I have long hair) loose hairs wash down my back and end up in my bum crack. End of my shower I have to check there's no hair left.

I can't be alone in this grossness! (Or can I)

OP posts:
cookie4640 · 04/02/2021 17:34

Do them after a bath or shower so they are soft and they don’t ping anywhere... I thought everyone did this! 😂

Jammysod · 04/02/2021 17:35

I did! Honestly did not care at that point though. Midwife quickly cleaned it up & no more was said.

Overbigaloevera · 04/02/2021 17:38

Back in the 80's when body suits were all the rage ( the ones that stretched over your tits and went up your crack)
I was very drunk (16) and slept with an older man ( ok he was only 24) but he whipped off my body suit and there was dried shit on the gusset 😩... I still feel the shame today 😔

PutYourBackIntoit · 04/02/2021 17:41

Whenever I eat custard my tummy makes a cute noise to say Thankyou! Grin

PutYourBackIntoit · 04/02/2021 17:42

After every mouthful!

Whichname98 · 04/02/2021 17:42

@Overbigaloevera I'm literally crying laughing Grin

DragonMoth · 04/02/2021 17:43

No to hair in bum crack, but I bend my neck forward and hang my hair over my front to wash and rinse.

Belly button discharge - no, but know someone who had. Doctor told her it is a build up of dead skin cells and sebum, a bit like the pimples you get where the skin cells build up under the skin. Its more common in tight belly buttons.

HearMeSnore · 04/02/2021 17:44

I had a natural birth and didn't poop - but this was because there was absolutely nothing left in there by that point. I was overdue so tried to bring on labour by drinking pints and pints of pineapple juice - which I'd read somewhere was a natural remedy. It worked. But along with the first contractions came wave upon wave of explosive diarrhoea because that stuff went through me like a dose of salts.

Javelin arse - yep. Proctalgia fugax, apparently. Once or twice a year I'll get a crippling bout of it that lasts about 10 minutes. Usually after sex or after a really big poo. Sitting in a hot bath is the only cure.

Hair in the bum crack - not really. But loose hair tends to come out in my hands while shampooing so maybe there's nothing left to collect in crevices.

Here's my embarrassing body secret: I sneeze when I get aroused. Yup - sometimes even if I just have a slightly saucy dream I'll wake up and sneeze explosively. Haven't even told DH this because he'd tease me relentlessly and every time I get a cold he'd be unbearable. So I've told him I think it's a dust-mite allergy.

Skyelils · 04/02/2021 17:45

Head explosions please tell me I’m not alone

Overbigaloevera · 04/02/2021 17:48

[quote Whichname98]@Overbigaloevera I'm literally crying laughing Grin[/quote]
Lol I'm laughing now but then I was mortified 💩 🤣

airedailleurs · 04/02/2021 17:50

@1sttimemumtobe2021

Did you poo whilst giving birth? Key thought of mine being due in April with first baby. The stats are high for this from what I hear but I can't really ask haha!
Yes I did and IIRC the birth was delayed as I could have pushed harder but was embarrassed as I knew I'd poo, in the end I just did it anyway. Quite common I think.
Sheila786 · 04/02/2021 17:51

This made me larf and larf, thank you for creating the thread... life doesnt seem so bad.......

Tavimama · 04/02/2021 17:53

Imissthegym

I also grow extra eyelashes in the corners of my eyes. I just tweeze them out every so often. Strangely, I don't notice them until they are several millimetres long.Hmm

Lazymum78 · 04/02/2021 17:53

Hahahah

Lazymum78 · 04/02/2021 17:55

@Overbigaloevera Hahaha! What was his reaction 😂

Cautionsharpblade · 04/02/2021 17:58

@Esspee not much is known about female ejaculation. I’m not sure it’s even understood. It’s often dismissed as myth, or fetishised. I can only speak personally but there’s a rough patch about 3 inches into the vagina on the wall nearest the urethra. If it’s rubbed, it triggers ejaculation. You just have to find an angle that works. I can’t do it on my own (can’t touch myself at all) it has to be PIV or fingers

Lostinwinter · 04/02/2021 17:58

This should be in classics!

Overbigaloevera · 04/02/2021 18:00

I didnt see him again 😔... Wanker! Now I'm older I can see he was an utter twat and only wanted one thing.. But at the time all I was thinking was ' shit sticks' so I didnt blame him!

borntobequiet · 04/02/2021 18:01

I sometimes feel I'm pooping more than I eat, which surely can't be the case.

You might be

bionumbers.hms.harvard.edu/bionumber.aspx?s=n&v=1&id=108514

FoxBaseBeta · 04/02/2021 18:02

@Tigertealeaves

Does anyone else bite bits off the inside of their mouth? I've been doing it for 20 years.
@Tigertealeaves I feast on the inside of my cheeks, have done forever. I remember once getting a bollocking for 'chewing gum' in class and then an extra bollocking for lying when I said I was chewing my own mouth Hmm
kateluvscats · 04/02/2021 18:04

[quote DreamingInColours]@MisiSam I get this but always thought it was because of my endometriosis? It's a shocker of a pain and if I'm in the middle of talking to.m someone I'll have to literally walk away for a moment![/quote]
It's a bowel spasm, they're very pain but usually only last a moment.

Amiable · 04/02/2021 18:06

I can agree with soooo many of these!

  • Witch hair on my forehead, I swear there is nothing there one day, next day a hair at least 4cm long!
  • Water retaining vag
  • Thigh-brows (I have never waxed, and rarely depilate)
  • I have a rectocele prolapse and need to insert a finger in my vag to help push poo out
  • Toe nail cheese - I HAVE to smell it when I clean my toenails!
  • Pooed when I had both my kids

Sure there must be more!

duckduckswan · 04/02/2021 18:07

I think I’ve had pretty much all of these apart from the orgasm 🙁 never had one.

I sneeze when I eat mints

Pearshaped20 · 04/02/2021 18:07

Omg this is absolute gold. What a post, best ever 😂😂😂😂

And yes to virtually everything, not sure on the poo should have asked my midwife lol

Constantfacepalm · 04/02/2021 18:10

Pooping in childbirth...yes both times. Worst thing was, I remember the second time (only a year ago) I was on floor of hospital corridor (fast labours) and all of a sudden I had such a forceful contraction I weed and pooped. Luckily 5am so empty corridor. Worse still wake saying to midwife who came running "argh I've pooped" and she says "no no, just the baby's head." Then she looked Blush

Worse than that was the ridiculous fact I had put leggings on to go to the hospital, which they couldnt really get off. In the corridor.

Re orgasm in childbirth....how? What does it feel like?! With contractions or the baby coming out?! I cant even fathom....