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Original poster

My husband received something very strange in the post ...

999 replies

OnSilverStars · 12/01/2021 11:05

In the post today, my husband received a letter. It was hand written with his name and address on the outside. No return info. The writing in the envelope is definitely a woman's

Inside is a copy of an "essay" I googled it and it's by Robert Louise Stevenson. It called "on Marriage"

The gist of it is that marriage has lots of ups and downs and requires communication

There is nothing else. No name, just a folded print out of this essay.

Any explanation, other than my fear? I have no reason other than this to suspect anything.

YABU - don't jump to conclusions

YANBU - he's cheated.

I'm shaking. This feels so surreal. I hope I'm overreacting. He's currently at work.

Ps. We open each other's post. We think nothing of it - usually. It's always junk or bills

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
Simarilion · 12/01/2021 13:23

I'm struggling to see how logically this could link to an affair- if you were the other person or knew about it would you really react by sending a photocopy of an essay about marriage to the cheater?? You'd have to own a book with essays on marriage in it & take it to work to photocopy it, or search the library for a book of moral essays. That's a lot of effort for a very tangential message! Unless he's got very religious/ moral older relatives or work colleagues who could be responsible it seems unlikely. Badly organised god botherer who forgot to include their church flyers seems much more likely.

refusetobeasheep · 12/01/2021 13:24

it is odd ... maybe someone bored in lockdown hoping to cause trouble?

oakleaffy · 12/01/2021 13:26

Opening someone else's mail {Even in a marriage} isn't something I'd ever do.

When I left home, parents opened mail that was mine and sent to home address from friends.
It felt very invasive.

But back to OP...I'd guess it was written by a woman who wanted you to see it.

Perhaps husband is flirting or worse with a female colleague?

Original poster
OnSilverStars · 12/01/2021 13:26

I like the book from amazon idea haha

His mum and I get along. Never had any problems. His grandparents are all dead.

I will of course ask him. I actually don't think he's cheating. It's just soooooo strange.

OP posts:
sundowners · 12/01/2021 13:27

All those very smugly saying they trust their husband 100%/ know for sure he’s not cheating/never would....this is a very naive position to take. As someone who’s grown up with men cheating everywhere believe me you should never fully trust and just accept/take it for granted they will always be faithful no matter what. Your guard should always be a little up. How anyone could not be worried after getting a letter like this is beyond me, you’re truly deluded if you wouldn’t at least question it.

Original poster
OnSilverStars · 12/01/2021 13:28

Also. He's self employed and only works with family members. He does quite a manually
Job and drives long distances but rarely stays out and not at all since covid started

OP posts:
WaxOnFeckOff · 12/01/2021 13:28

I posted a few weeks ago about a letter we'd had (DH opened it and binned it) and it was universally agreed it was JWs, they need to reach out as part of their religious rules so are now randomly writing to addresses, our was also addressed to DH.

As for the writing, I agree that you can often tell, but DHs friend (in his mid 50s) writes like a teenage schoolgirl, just missing the wee hearts used as dots. I used to think it was his wife's but it's not, it's definitely his.

ConfusedcomMum · 12/01/2021 13:30

A pp already said on page 3 that they received the same thing and it's from JW. HTH.

Em8725 · 12/01/2021 13:30

JW have been sending out hand written envelopes with the name and address and then a printed reading inside round here. It’s very strange. My MIL got one addressed to her, and one addressed to her ex husband who no longer lives there. It’s very odd.

Getoutofbed25 · 12/01/2021 13:30

I would say it’s been sent by OW who has recently found out DH is married and she wants to send him back to his wife and not use her.

I hope there is a more reasonable explanation Flowers

SerenityFlowers · 12/01/2021 13:31

I think he's just had a bit of a moan to someone who fancies themselves as a marriage guidance counsellor and a literary show-off. I also open my husband's post unless it's something he's obviously ordered for himself. It's just admin - no big deal.

MinnieJackson · 12/01/2021 13:32

We had a JW handwritten letter last week but it just said to the residents on the envelope and they wrote there names and where they live in the letter (next town over) then loads of the leaflets tucked inside

Cottagepieandpeas · 12/01/2021 13:32

Those who have received JW letters, wasn’t there something in them to tell you it was from a JW?
Yes they do have to ‘recruit’ but isn’t it a bit pointless if they don’t advertise who they are?
Contacting people by post makes sense (to them) as they can’t knock on doors during lockdown I suppose.

scoobdoob · 12/01/2021 13:34

We had the same from Jehovah’s Witness. But it did give the name of the church if wanted to join. Can’t do door to door so doing this.

littlepattilou · 12/01/2021 13:34

@Needahug72

Could be a letter from Jehovah Witnesses we got one last week about the meek possessing the earth.

They seem to be sending letters to random addresses as my mum received one a couple of months ago addressed to her my dad (dad had died a month earlier)

@OnSilverStars We also got a handwritten letter from Jehovahs Witnesses just before Christmas, with their usual preachy drivel, and a copy of The Watchtower! Went in the bin. But yeah @OnSilverStars it could be a religious piece of paraphernalia.

Don't worry. I reckon it's nothing!

Divebar · 12/01/2021 13:34

Why would a church use a secular piece of writing rather than a bible / holy book. passage? Why not say “ we’re your local church and we hope to see you when it’s safe to do so?” or similar. So actually nothing to link it to religion at all just marriage. Very odd.

BakewellGin1 · 12/01/2021 13:34

Totally missing the point but hope you find out...

In our house I open post for DH... He works away so if not nothing would get responded too, so I open, photo and send to him... Works for us as we get nothing exciting enough to hide.

I do think you can have a good guess at male or female writing but sometimes exceptions.

Those saying they trust 100% as DH would never have time or would never do that.... I hope your right.... You'd be surprised

Original poster
OnSilverStars · 12/01/2021 13:35

@ConfusedcomMum

A pp already said on page 3 that they received the same thing and it's from JW. HTH.
It turns out it was not at all the same thing
OP posts:
littlepattilou · 12/01/2021 13:35

@Cottagepieandpeas

Those who have received JW letters, wasn’t there something in them to tell you it was from a JW? Yes they do have to ‘recruit’ but isn’t it a bit pointless if they don’t advertise who they are? Contacting people by post makes sense (to them) as they can’t knock on doors during lockdown I suppose.
Yeah it did say JW on it, but it could be another religious organisation.
LH1987 · 12/01/2021 13:35

It’s definitely odd! But I think probably a rational explanation. The essay itself doesn’t suggest it’s from someone he was intimate with or has feelings for him. It’s more about life and ups and downs.

Could be for an inscription on something, could be someone has been reading in lockdown and thought he’d like the piece or take something from it.

Also for what it’s worth, I think male and female writing is often easy to tell..

yearinyearout · 12/01/2021 13:39

I'm no literature buff but I can't see what that piece of writing has to do with marriage 🤷🏼‍♀️

donewithitalltodayandxmas · 12/01/2021 13:40

All those fixated on the issue of opening each others mail, if 2 people agree , whats the issue.
I open some of dh mail as i deal with the bills etc and they would sit on side unopened.
If you don't agree to open the mail thats the issue, i have even opened someone elses mail when its been put through my door in error , as I have missed the name and had a neighbour do to me to , I didn't feel the need to report her the police though.
I think he was having an affair he wouldn't do it buy post.
Yes you can often tell gender, infact i can often tell peoples hand writing who are a similar age to me as certain style was done, not always possible but often and handwriting experts can tell even more z
Agree OP its weird I would just ask him and gauge his reaction.

CeibaTree · 12/01/2021 13:41

It's probably just from a busy body neighbour who saw you 'have words' or something on the street one day. Or a prank. Let us know what he says when you show him - I guess his reaction will tell you if you need to be suspicious or not!

SpudsandGravy · 12/01/2021 13:42

@janaus50s

Don’t text him or phone him. You need to see his reaction. Trust your gut feelings.

This.

I understand why you're confused and worried about it, OP. There's no need to try to justify yourself to those who don't understand. Just raise it with DH this evening and see what he says/how he reacts.

If JW really are doing this kind of thing it's appalling, and needs to be stopped :-(

NoSquirrels · 12/01/2021 13:46

How odd! It is a bit of an obscure passage as well - I don't actually think the "On Marriage" bit is too relevant, or if it is and your DH is in fact having an affair and the OW has decided to alert you to it (or someone else has), it's hardly the most direct way to go about it.

Is your DH into Robert Louis Stevenson for any reason?

I'm sure there will be a completely banal explanation for it. Don't stress!