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Original poster

My husband received something very strange in the post ...

999 replies

OnSilverStars · 12/01/2021 11:05

In the post today, my husband received a letter. It was hand written with his name and address on the outside. No return info. The writing in the envelope is definitely a woman's

Inside is a copy of an "essay" I googled it and it's by Robert Louise Stevenson. It called "on Marriage"

The gist of it is that marriage has lots of ups and downs and requires communication

There is nothing else. No name, just a folded print out of this essay.

Any explanation, other than my fear? I have no reason other than this to suspect anything.

YABU - don't jump to conclusions

YANBU - he's cheated.

I'm shaking. This feels so surreal. I hope I'm overreacting. He's currently at work.

Ps. We open each other's post. We think nothing of it - usually. It's always junk or bills

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
BenoneBeauty · 12/01/2021 13:46

I'd be very confused if my DH received something like that too Op although I wouldn't suspect him of cheating unless I had other suspicions in the first instance.

I agree you're right to see facial expression when you ask him about it as that will likely give away a lot regarding whether you need to be worried or he's as baffled as you are.

FWIW, without Google I wouldn't have had a clue what that text was actually getting at Blush

WiseOwlRelaxing · 12/01/2021 13:46

@ManCubsMama

he’s confided in someone about your marriage (and not in a positive way)

This is my bet

yes, and he may even have mentioned ''she opens my post''.
SpudsandGravy · 12/01/2021 13:47

@Bluesheep8

According to the Postal Services Act 2000, it is illegal to open mail that is not addressed to you, unless you can show reasonable excuse.

There we are. It's illegal. Unless a woman's handwriting on the envelope is a reasonable excuse

Right, and permission - the OP has explained that she has it, as in her house it's the norm between her and DH for her to open the post - is the reasonable excuse. There's nothing illegal here. Try to use a bit of common sense! Confused

WiseOwlRelaxing · 12/01/2021 13:47

He mightn't care about that and certainly not enough to ask the OP to stop but you know, if he got in to the flow of complaining in the presence of a sympathetic ear, and didn't have that much to draw on, it's a good one.

DressingGownofDoom · 12/01/2021 13:49

@Cottagepieandpeas

Those who have received JW letters, wasn’t there something in them to tell you it was from a JW? Yes they do have to ‘recruit’ but isn’t it a bit pointless if they don’t advertise who they are? Contacting people by post makes sense (to them) as they can’t knock on doors during lockdown I suppose.
Yes I've received a handwritten letter from JW and it was addressed to 'my neighbour' and had a bit about God and info about the church on the bottom. This is most odd, if DH has confided in someone about his marriage, he's picked a total psychopath because who would send that through the post Confused
Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel · 12/01/2021 13:49

Omg those bitching about opening his post! If I didn't open all the post in our house nothing would ever be opened!

Original poster
OnSilverStars · 12/01/2021 13:50

Yes I did google it because it was Greek to me and it says it was about marriage

When you google the meaning of it. It says this

Review: Don’t run away from marriage. Recognize it for what it is. Two imperfect people who can succeed in managing themselves in an imperfect world. Don’t look for the perfect marriage. It doesn’t exist. In a round-about manner, Stevenson arrives at this point.

OP posts:
BlueThistles · 12/01/2021 13:50

My DH and I open each others Mail... I work overseas for extended periods ... someone needs to open the Mail 🌺

Wanderlust20 · 12/01/2021 13:50

Just wanted to say hope you get to the bottom of this OP, I'm really baffled by the vitriol you're receiving from some. It's neither here nor there if you open up each others post (with permission) - you received something odd in the post, your mind started racing and you wanted to get it off your chest. Completely understandable, especially when you come on here and read about people receiving weird letters in the mail from suspected affairs.

I'm sure there's an innocent explanation, keep us posted!

oakleaffy · 12/01/2021 13:51

As for partners ''Not having time'' for affairs..

It is shocking how little time is needed.

I have never had one, but ex DH did, {He always used to joke ''I'd never have time for an affair!''}

A friend I worked with had an affair with a busy GP..
Gp popped in for a quick ''How's yer father?'' a couple of times a week. {Her house was a 3 minute walk from the Surgery}
He was ''very married'' with numerous DC.

A creepy bloke who thought he was ''God's Gift'' to women used to come on strong to female colleagues.
I asked ''What about your Wife?''..He had the audacity to mention one of his DC was disabled, and the rest of the DC kept her so busy she didn't like sex.

YUCK.

It doesn't take long to do the deed, and they excitement of it is thrilling, so friend having the affair with the GPsaid.

It is the ''forbidden'' nature that adds fuel to the fire.

hp2 · 12/01/2021 13:51

I had one of these. It’s from Jehovah witnesses.

FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 12/01/2021 13:52

How odd! I'm so intrigued. I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that he has cheated - never in my life have I heard of the OW handwriting a letter to her married lover! Not in this day and age anyway.
Try to calm down and don't read too much into this- ask your husband when he gets home. You will probably be able to tell a lot from the look on his face. Good luck OP Flowers

Wanderlust20 · 12/01/2021 13:52

@Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel

Omg those bitching about opening his post! If I didn't open all the post in our house nothing would ever be opened!
Ha, my ex was the same! If we were getting evicted, we'd never know until it happened as he never opened the mail!!
Heartlantern2 · 12/01/2021 13:52

I think it depends on your age. If it’s hand written it’s likely to have come from someone in the older generation. I’m 30 and if I was going to do that I’d type and print it.

From his mum or aunt maybe?

Original poster
OnSilverStars · 12/01/2021 13:52

@hp2

I had one of these. It’s from Jehovah witnesses.
How did you know it was from JW?
OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 12/01/2021 13:53

@yearinyearout

I'm no literature buff but I can't see what that piece of writing has to do with marriage 🤷🏼‍♀️
I mean - I actually am a literature buff and I don't think that extract has much at all to do with marriage. But the longer piece it's taken from called 'Virginibus Puerisque' does have stuff on marriage. This is a great quote: www.azquotes.com/quote/283549

Anyway - if you want to make a comment on someone's marriage it's a pretty obscure effort and I'd think the person sending it was a teeny bit deranged, tbh.

No slightly senile extremely well-read form-for-interfering members of the family in Tyneside, OP? Grin

sandgrown · 12/01/2021 13:53

I have received a handwritten letter from a local JW supporter . It did seem a bit strange.

Original poster
OnSilverStars · 12/01/2021 13:53

@Heartlantern2

I think it depends on your age. If it’s hand written it’s likely to have come from someone in the older generation. I’m 30 and if I was going to do that I’d type and print it.

From his mum or aunt maybe?

I wasn't clear. Only the envelope was handwritten. The essay was a photocopy from a book
OP posts:
AlwaysLatte · 12/01/2021 13:55

He's not thinking of renewing marriage vows is he?

Wedding Anniversary coming up?
Is he a teacher, or tutor using this material for his work? OU degree?

Original poster
OnSilverStars · 12/01/2021 13:56

@AlwaysLatte

He's not thinking of renewing marriage vows is he? Wedding Anniversary coming up? Is he a teacher, or tutor using this material for his work? OU degree?
He does an industrial, engineering type job
OP posts:
MedusasBadHairDay · 12/01/2021 13:58

@OnSilverStars

Yes I did google it because it was Greek to me and it says it was about marriage

When you google the meaning of it. It says this

Review: Don’t run away from marriage. Recognize it for what it is. Two imperfect people who can succeed in managing themselves in an imperfect world. Don’t look for the perfect marriage. It doesn’t exist. In a round-about manner, Stevenson arrives at this point.

Part of the larger essay is about marriage, but the bit you quoted isn't, unless there's more you haven't put in the thread?
BoomyBooms · 12/01/2021 13:58

How old are you and husband OP? As pp said, someone younger and more comfortable with tech wouldn't be using photocopiers for personal stuff at all, let alone making a bad copy on the wrong size paper. I'll probably get dumped on for judging older people but it looks like something an older person would have made at a library or something. Or someone who has a photocopier at home but surely it's rare that people need that nowadays (unless teachers or similar maybe).

If it is an OW shes gone to a lot of effort to do this pretty badly... She could have text, FB, emailed, put a note through the door with a link to a website... And why RLS - is dh a fan of his or of literature in general?

Original poster
OnSilverStars · 12/01/2021 14:00

I've put a photo oh the piece of paper. There's 4
Different paragraphs

He is not interested in this sort of thing. Doesn't like poetry.

We're both in our 30s

OP posts:
warmandtoasty2day · 12/01/2021 14:00

i open dh's mail he leaves it to me wouldn't get done otherwise.

Feedingthebirds1 · 12/01/2021 14:01

If I handed him an unopened letter that was hand written on the envelope(a more interesting letter than your average virgin or BT junk) he'd be like, why haven't you opened this

You can't genuinely believe that and also believe he 's having an affair. Cognitive dissonance.

If there was an OW (which I don't believe there is) he would have warned her not to send anything through the post for that reason.