My husband received something very strange in the post ...

[OnSilverStars]

In the post today, my husband received a letter. It was hand written with his name and address on the outside. No return info. The writing in the envelope is definitely a woman's

Inside is a copy of an "essay" I googled it and it's by Robert Louise Stevenson. It called "on Marriage"

The gist of it is that marriage has lots of ups and downs and requires communication

There is nothing else. No name, just a folded print out of this essay.

Any explanation, other than my fear? I have no reason other than this to suspect anything.

YABU - don't jump to conclusions

YANBU - he's cheated.

I'm shaking. This feels so surreal. I hope I'm overreacting. He's currently at work.

Ps. We open each other's post. We think nothing of it - usually. It's always junk or bills

Yes, I find it odd to immediately jump to cheating and to panic like this.

If my husband got this I’d laugh and think some weirdo sent it. I trust him and know he’s not cheating

You did the opposite. I think you need to examine why?

It's not definitely a woman's handwriting. There is no such thing as men's/women's handwriting at all.

It's hard to guess, could be an interfering relative trying to give advice? But I'd be assuming an affair too. How very very strange. I can't find the essay in question, it would help to read it.

We've had lots of posts on our local community pages with people receiving unsolicited essays and instruction from Jehovahs Witnesses. Usually on morality and behaviours and how to live but they don't usually have the recipient's name and they always explain they are JWs.

🙄 at the people who say you can't tell whether handwriting is male or female.

You cannot guarantee but you can have a bloody good guess.

I'd also be thinking JW but if it had his name on it that would make me question that.

It's an interesting piece of literature. Maybe he's been talking to a friend about marriage in general. Maybe he's been fed up.

Tbh I think it's quite a positive piece of writing and I wouldn't consider that he had had an affair from that.

Give it to him when he comes home and ask him who it is from.

Can't you just call him and ask if he knows what it's about? He might be as baffled as you.

According to Criminal Minds, hand writing is gendered. Just saying.

How would JW have his name?

Actually my Dad got a handwritten, also personally addressed and hand posted, letter from JW's last week. It was some crap about being 'here for him'

Did you open it and read it? Is there generally an issue in your relationship which would mean you read his private mail because I don't think most of us would do that.

I'm not trying to be judgey but it does seem a bit odd. As if you already had suspicions or were an overly jealous person?

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7294055/

We get some CRAZY stuff in the door, handwritten envelopes, from time to time. Sometimes JW, as mentioned above, sometimes some absolutely batshit archaeology/space/conspiracy stuff.

Is there generally an issue in your relationship which would mean you read his private mail because I don't think most of us would do that.

I do it, DH does it. We have always opened each other's mail. Not because we have any issues in the relationship, more so because we don't.

Today he got a letter from some company trying to sell him more books. I didn't get any. He was in bed so I opened it. Yesterday I was out so he got all the mail which included 3 letters for me. One from the NHS, one from my credit card and the other was from the council.

Why are you opening and reading his post?

My husband got a handwritten letter addressed to him last week from JW last week. It wasn't immediately obvious it was from either

We’ve had something very similar .. it was from JW.. handwritten..couldn’t guess the gender mind you but definitely JW .. we’ve been in this house 13 years and never got anything like it before.

I feel like the post thing is a red herring - OH and I open each other's post all the time, it's just whoever picks it up from the porch.

A JW wouldn't just send this without indicating who it was from and putting the address of their local Kingdom hall on it.

I've tried googling but can't find the full wording which would give more idea of the meaning the sender wants to convey. Any chance of taking a photo and uploading OP?

@Feelingconfused2020 why ask if OP opened and read it when clear that happened? It was purely to set up your judgey statement regarding how “most of us” wouldn’t. But OP has already stated this is normal in their relationship both ways, so your statement is defunct and unnecessarily judgemental as it ignores the context already provided???

OP I’d show him face to face when he gets home - don’t mention it before you see him. Don’t fly off the handle, just wait until he’s there and then casually flip it out and his reaction (as long as he’s not pre-warned) should inform your next step. If he’s genuinely confused etc that’s different to suddenly grabbing it and getting defensive.

Good luck

We open each other's mail all the time, well whoever gets the mail opens it. Now the kids have mail we leave that for them but in 20+years of we've always done it. I also think handwriting can be indicative of sex.

“Times are changed with him who marries; there are no more by-path meadows, where you may innocently linger, but the road lies long and straight and dusty to the grave.”

Normal people can easily recognise handwriting gender. I can and assume most others can, its not a magic skill.

sites.psu.edu/siowfa16/2016/09/06/why-do-females-and-males-have-different-handwriting-styles/comment-page-1/

I think someone who knows he’s having affair has sent it.. sorry 🙈 x

We had a handwritten missive from JWs last week.

@EverythingIsAStation

My husband got a handwritten letter addressed to him last week from JW last week. It wasn't immediately obvious it was from either

There seem to be a few posters saying that this has happened to them recently, assume this is to make up for them not being able to go door to door anymore? I always wonder what they hope to achieve with these methods, surely no one has been won over by it?

So a little bit more about it-

It's a photo copy of a page from a book. There is no title or author. It's just a black and white photo copy

No we have no issues that I know of. We just have a joint bank account, share everything. My mum just used to open all the post as she dealt with the bills and insurance and stuff and I guess I'm the same

Again. Sorry to the woke ones out there about the woman's handwriting. I know I can't tell but it's pretty girly- ya got me

I would ring or text him, but I'd like to see his reaction and if it is the worst case scenario I don't want that convo over the phone.

I would be shocked if he has cheated. He's a lovely person who is always kind and thoughtful. We have little kids and been married over 10 years