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Original poster

My husband received something very strange in the post ...

999 replies

OnSilverStars · 12/01/2021 11:05

In the post today, my husband received a letter. It was hand written with his name and address on the outside. No return info. The writing in the envelope is definitely a woman's

Inside is a copy of an "essay" I googled it and it's by Robert Louise Stevenson. It called "on Marriage"

The gist of it is that marriage has lots of ups and downs and requires communication

There is nothing else. No name, just a folded print out of this essay.

Any explanation, other than my fear? I have no reason other than this to suspect anything.

YABU - don't jump to conclusions

YANBU - he's cheated.

I'm shaking. This feels so surreal. I hope I'm overreacting. He's currently at work.

Ps. We open each other's post. We think nothing of it - usually. It's always junk or bills

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
Lookslikerainted · 12/01/2021 13:04

Crazy idea- ask your husband? That’s the first thing I would have done. It’s what anyone would do in a healthy relationship would do.

lifeinlimbo2020 · 12/01/2021 13:05

@Bluesheep8

According to the Postal Services Act 2000, it is illegal to open mail that is not addressed to you, unless you can show reasonable excuse.

There we are. It's illegal. Unless a woman's handwriting on the envelope is a reasonable excuse

Myself and DH open any post whenever. We have joint finances and nothing to hide and neither of us minds. It depends on what you do in your household.
pelosi · 12/01/2021 13:05

@AramintaLee no, it was all handwritten! I'm going to dig it out. Felt bad throwing it away after they went to all that effort.

NoWordForFluffy · 12/01/2021 13:06

@Janegrey333

I would recognise female handwriting. Why is that such an offence? 🙄
Because some people just love to be shitty to OPs. Usual suspects too, I see. Hmm
ManCubsMama · 12/01/2021 13:07

he’s confided in someone about your marriage (and not in a positive way)

This is my bet

Jetatyeovilaerodrome · 12/01/2021 13:07

It's weird if it didn't come with anything else enclosed.

We got one last week, handwritten - I was impressed with the dedication to be honest! But also enclosed were the usual leaflets etc as well so we knew it was a religious group.

thisismetrying · 12/01/2021 13:08

I don't believe for a moment this is from a JW.

They write to people in their own community generally.

There would have been a letter and not just a printout. I think most would see that as rude and a bit sinister.

I'd be very surprised to see them using secular literature to make their point.

That doesn't mean I think he's having an affair but I do know that's not the MO of the JWs and I have close personal experience.

lifeinlimbo2020 · 12/01/2021 13:08

@CrotchBurn

Why the fuck are people wanking on about their personal experiences of handwriting? Nobody cares and thats not the issue here
Haha. I agree. And going on about whether the letter should've been opened in the first place 😭😭🤯🤯🤣🤣
thisismetrying · 12/01/2021 13:09

@Bluesheep8

Ps. We open each other's post. We think nothing of it - usually. It's always junk or bills

I'd be furious if DP opened my post as a matter of course. As would he if I opened his. Why are you opening each others post in the first place? Isn't it illegal to open someone else's post?

Me and my partner often open each other's post. It's really not a big deal.
covidaintacrime · 12/01/2021 13:09

*I don't believe for a moment this is from a JW.

They write to people in their own community generally.*

I got a fully handwritten letter from them posted through the door in my flat (trying to quite forcefully relate to me, seemed a bit like taking advantage of people in a lockdown but anyway) so it's definitely possible it's them. Though that wasn't addressed to anyone!

Bluesheep8 · 12/01/2021 13:11

Myself and DH open any post whenever. We have joint finances and nothing to hide and neither of us minds. It depends on what you do in your household.

DP and I have joint finances and nothing to hide either. We just don't open each others post.

pinbinpin · 12/01/2021 13:11

Sorry to do the MIL trope on MN but this is definitely something my MIL would do.

She'd be talking to her son on the phone and would ask "How's pinbinpn?" He'd say, "oh fine, busy with work, you know" or some other generic answer. She'd put the phone down, forget for awhile that she'd spoken to him, then remember a bit about it, then transform it into, I can't remember exactly what he said but he seemed very upset about pinbinpin, I always knew that bitch would hurt my son.

Except in her case this would culminate in random facebook posts about the sanctity of marriage, about how co-habiting couples aren't really in love, links to divorce lawyers, random posts about how much she still loves her husband of 50 years and how they still have sex in the woods whilst walking the dogs etc - rather than hand-written letters.

lifeinlimbo2020 · 12/01/2021 13:12

@Bluesheep8

Myself and DH open any post whenever. We have joint finances and nothing to hide and neither of us minds. It depends on what you do in your household.

DP and I have joint finances and nothing to hide either. We just don't open each others post.

Brill. We're opposites then 👍
NoWordForFluffy · 12/01/2021 13:14

@Bluesheep8

Myself and DH open any post whenever. We have joint finances and nothing to hide and neither of us minds. It depends on what you do in your household.

DP and I have joint finances and nothing to hide either. We just don't open each others post.

Well, you do you. Others do differently, funnily enough. 🤷‍♀️
gannett · 12/01/2021 13:14

@jasso

Don't say anything until you've checked his phone and email. If he has cheated, he'll try to delete the evidence.
God almighty this is crazed.

If I'd asked someone to send me a photocopy of a bit of literature I wanted and they responded me snooping in my messages I would be so livid.

lifeinlimbo2020 · 12/01/2021 13:15

We open each other's parcels too unless we have specifically said not to due to being near a birthday or anniversary or something 😯 😯 🤯🤯

LaceyBetty · 12/01/2021 13:15

I am laughing so hard at the posters talking about the legality of opening other people's mail!!

Mydogmylife · 12/01/2021 13:16

@Porcupineintherough

If my husband accused me of cheating based on no more than an essay about marriage posted anonymously through the door he'd be out on the pavement so fast his head would spin.
This
Nonamesavail · 12/01/2021 13:16

I'd be a bit pissed off if my husband opened my post. Understand if someone is away or something but im home everyday I can open my own post.

LaceyBetty · 12/01/2021 13:17

Sorry OP, I also meant to add that I am in the camp of not suspecting an affair, but it is odd. I would just ask him about it

LaceyBetty · 12/01/2021 13:17

@Nonamesavail

I'd be a bit pissed off if my husband opened my post. Understand if someone is away or something but im home everyday I can open my own post.
OP has already said that they open each other's mail all the time.
EspressoExpresso · 12/01/2021 13:17

@Needahug72

Could be a letter from Jehovah Witnesses we got one last week about the meek possessing the earth.

They seem to be sending letters to random addresses as my mum received one a couple of months ago addressed to her my dad (dad had died a month earlier)

This
Kumquatsquash · 12/01/2021 13:22

Maybe he ordered a book from Amazon and got massively ripped off?

ApolloandDaphne · 12/01/2021 13:22

It seems very odd indeed.

DameFanny · 12/01/2021 13:23

What does his mother or grandmother think of you @OnSilverStars? Because it strikes me as unusual for anyone under 60 or so to be aware of Stevenson as an essayist - Treasure Island yes, but essays?