Read the Damn Post! AIBU

[HairsprayBabe]

This really gets my goat and I probably need to chill the fuck out but I find it so annoying!

Someone will post an AIBU e.g.
DD (9) has done X,Y & Z, I think she is old enough to know better DH disagrees and she is just a kid still WIBU?

Followed by a flood of posters - How old is DD? What age is your daughter? etc....

Sometimes the answer to the question is in the thread title FGS [facepalm]

Some threads are long, I get that but at least read the blinking OP before responding! AIBU and this is something I shouldn't care about?

haven't RTFT but have you considered getting a goat?

I can't be arsed to RTFT or pay any attention to any answers already given but have you considered feeding all your family and the goat's family for 56p a week and actually having enough spare food to throw an AIBU street party at the weekend?

The 1950s called, OP, and they want their goat back (if you've finished fumming it)

Hold on.

You said you 'got' your goat in England.
Is there any particular reason you chose a goat from your own country?
Foreign goats are just as lovely as UK goats.

Are you a racist, OP?

Please stop dripfeeding, we've already established this didn't really happen.

I CBA to read your thread at all. None of it.

I'm actually thinking of going to Aldi and would like to know what I should get?

Tarte tartin with whatever is left over in the fridge - plus a sausage or two - can't beat sausage.

Anyone got any recipes for goat curry? Goat seems to be the new ostrich - though that never really caught on did it?

Does the goat actually identify as a sheep? Have you even bothered to ask it, OP?

I don't think we'll hear from the OP again.

Is your goat definitely male? Just because they have a penis, it doesn't necessarily mean they identify as a male. Ask Them.

Quite frankly the potential misgendering of goats (or self identified Sheep)
is making my teeth itch.

Oh FFS, you clearly haven't RTFT, OP.

YABU.
And goaty.

Haven't RTFT but OP have you considered that your goat may have sensory sensitivity issues?

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/11/29/goat-suffers-anxiety-calms-put-duck-costume

Ah, so that's was the G stands for when someone is referred to as a GF? A goaty fucker. All these years I've been getting it wrong. Time for to drown my sorrows.

dnwig superb link! Not only a duck-goat, but even a UNICORN-GOAT!!
Now we're getting somewhere.

Also, I think I have recognised the OP.
I don't think the claim of limited screen time is strictly accurate: let's not forget thread where DD and DGoat were allowed to watch Peppa Pig for several days in a restaurant.

Well that clearly wasnt me, we dont use restaurants as I cant abide the thought of tipping!

I have very important advice for you OP on all the points you have raised. They are all very urgent and need addressing with great care and attention to detail.
But as I am incredibly busy just now I will come back and give you the benefit of my considerable expertise ( or make it up as I go along) in 3 years time once thread is well and truly zombiefied.
You are welcome.

Drip feeling much OP?

Sorry, did you tip your goat, or your daughter?
Here's a tip: Don't eat yellow snow.
Or goats.

I thought when you @'ed, it alerts you @TheWeevilincidentof2009

I appreciate all your advice, I have decided to ignore it all, as I was only really posting to validate my poor goat parenting.

DD is now completely out of the situation I have decided to go NC with her.

DH is useless and refuses to tell his mother that DGoat is more important than DD.

I vote goat!

I'm going to comment now just because you appeared to thank us and try to finish the incessant thread and I am overinvested and need it to continue.

I suggest that red spray is very effective in deterring some goats. But , whatever you do, do not blame the goat.

But if your goat self-identifies as such why would you challenge it - you are a disgrace OP, I am reporting this thread immediately.

Your goat is actually a Turkey who has voted for Christmas OP.