Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

Original poster

is this the worst and most self-absorbed piece of journalism ever written? (most amusing)

453 replies

whensantagotstuckupAITCHimney · 13/12/2006 23:12

Without a word of a lie, this was printed in The Evening Standard the other day after the tornado. A friend of mine has picked it up and thinks it's worth celebrating in all its pompous, un-self-aware, London meeja whore bourgeois pig awfulness. it's not a piss-take. really it isn't.

"My tornado hell. This is to celebrate and remember the excellent article by freelance writer Caroline Phillips from the Evening Standard. When it was printed is irrelevant, the point is to keep it alive forever, long after the last landfill has rotted away, we are all dust, and your children's children's children may revel in the words contained herein." here

OP posts:
QuootiepiesChristmasName · 13/12/2006 23:14

Got one

moondog · 13/12/2006 23:16

Good god that is hilarious!!!

Guffawing helplessly at Douschka the dog.

Silly bitch.

thewoodlandfairy · 13/12/2006 23:17

it truly is astonishing

Wilbur · 13/12/2006 23:18

I love the bit about her clementines being vomited across the kitchen floor...

Twiglett · 13/12/2006 23:18

I can't read it .. my brain melted on the first paragraph

weepootleflump · 13/12/2006 23:20

OMG! Do you think she's a MNer?

EmkanaCookTurkeyLikeICan · 13/12/2006 23:22

You must read it to the end - otherwise you miss out on the Cath Kidston carpet in the nine year old's bedroom.

2nervesnapartridgeinapeartree · 13/12/2006 23:23

Snnoorrttt!!
Really not a piss take??

The bit about the firemen admiring her polished plaster walls?

EmkanaCookTurkeyLikeICan · 13/12/2006 23:23

Oh and the husband saying to the insurance bloke, after being offered to stay in a hotel, "There is only one hotel in London - Claridge's"

moondog · 13/12/2006 23:24

I can't believe it actually.

It makes me want to start a revolution.She will be firstup for the firing squad.

It's so vacuous and self indulgent.

Reading it encapsulates all that is wrong and greedy.

SantasFattymumma · 13/12/2006 23:25

i got about half way and couldn't go on.

What a pretentious twunt.
i love the way she name drops and has to give everyones jobs just so that we knoe her freinds are all "nice people"

glad her house is wrecked, she can now recreater her "passion for perfect decor"

doyouwantfrankincensewiththat · 13/12/2006 23:25

huzzah the cat's OK

do Claridges take cats?

weepootleflump · 13/12/2006 23:30

Had to go back and finish, just for the Cath Kidston reference - superb!

Original poster
whensantagotstuckupAITCHimney · 13/12/2006 23:30

i feel very sorry for Beryl... i don't think she was even a film producer.

OP posts:
DeckthehallsLaDiDaDi · 13/12/2006 23:30

I can't believe that she got that pile of namedropping crap printed.

NattyandThomasandBumpandSanta · 13/12/2006 23:34

my goodness, shes full of it... such a shame to have oranges vomited on ur floor.. as if the birthday cards on the shelf wernt enough... reminds me of the catherine tate sketches
"oh mummy.."

posh cow

Judd · 13/12/2006 23:34

I looked around our house and smirked at "I feared looting".

wickedwinterwitch · 13/12/2006 23:36
moondog · 13/12/2006 23:39

Beryl was the token working class brick i think.

Born and bred there hence astonishing scenario of a charlady (retd.) rubbing shoulders with film producers and the like.

myrrhthamoo · 13/12/2006 23:39

Oh. I am utterly lost for words. There is so much to pick at in that I don't even know where to start. She just cannot be for real...tell me it's a wind up...

wickedwinterwitch · 13/12/2006 23:40

"I was standing thinking How Can I Write About This? How soon can I get my copy in? And as I surveyed my friend's Imac, I knew the answer was soon. Because you all deserve to know what it's like to be middle class and devastated."

myrrhthamoo · 13/12/2006 23:41

In the midst of such angst, such devastation, such loss...she still makes the point that it's an 'American walnut floating shelf.' God forbid we should think it was just any old shelf...from Argos or B&Q maybe.

doyouwantfrankincensewiththat · 13/12/2006 23:41

she may find she gets used to post-tornado chic...so minimum maintenance darling

ClementClarkeMoore · 13/12/2006 23:41

Unctuous buggar

wickedwinterwitch · 13/12/2006 23:42

"My children now know true horror. They know not of broken homes, food poverty, hunger, but they know, now, how it feels when their Cath Kidston covers are cruelly ripped from their beds without a by your leave from the Mistress that is Mother Nature."

Sorry, I'll stop now.