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Original poster

is this the worst and most self-absorbed piece of journalism ever written? (most amusing)

453 replies

whensantagotstuckupAITCHimney · 13/12/2006 23:12

Without a word of a lie, this was printed in The Evening Standard the other day after the tornado. A friend of mine has picked it up and thinks it's worth celebrating in all its pompous, un-self-aware, London meeja whore bourgeois pig awfulness. it's not a piss-take. really it isn't.

"My tornado hell. This is to celebrate and remember the excellent article by freelance writer Caroline Phillips from the Evening Standard. When it was printed is irrelevant, the point is to keep it alive forever, long after the last landfill has rotted away, we are all dust, and your children's children's children may revel in the words contained herein." here

OP posts:
2nervesnapartridgeinapeartree · 13/12/2006 23:44

Yes NattyandThomas I thought of Catherine Tate!

Gooseberry and cinnamon yogurt anyone?

Twiglett · 13/12/2006 23:45

"In the midst of such angst, such devastation, such loss...she still makes the point that it's an 'American walnut floating shelf.' God forbid we should think it was just any old shelf...from Argos or B&Q maybe. "

PMSL .. throat is hurting with laughter actually

fatwoman · 13/12/2006 23:46

"Jamie, our musician neighbour and father of newborn Seth" O. M. G. PMSL

wickedwinterwitch · 13/12/2006 23:47

I like the way she mentions everyones occupations, very funny.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 13/12/2006 23:47

ROFL!!!

Have you read the comments???

Twiglett · 13/12/2006 23:48

its a blog though isn't it? that's not a real journalist ... no editor could possibly let that live .. unless writing for Up My Own Arse Homes & Gardens

NattyandThomasandBumpandSanta · 13/12/2006 23:49

the funny thing is she refers to people without insurance as "poor"...
and i suppose people with only one car, no dishwasher and who buy their furniture from ikea as unbelivliby "desolate"... what is with this woman, what paper again? god it would never get published in a PROPER paper..

okay im ignoring this now it makes me so mad!

NappiesGalooooooooooooria · 13/12/2006 23:50

oh wow - that is truly fannytastic. was quite a slog to read the whole thing... but worth it. youre right. we must carve it in gold and bury it in time capsules. or something.

wow.

she screams a lot doesnt she? must be quite tiring to be around her... feel quite sorry for the 'close friends' shes staying with

iwouldloveadollypleaseSanta · 13/12/2006 23:50

how can someone write that claptrap and not think 'o i have written a spoof of my own life'. pmsl

moondog · 13/12/2006 23:52

Very good WWW.
I think you should pen a witty riposte.

MrsJohnCuSackFullOfPresents · 13/12/2006 23:52

no no no
is a piss take, it must be - noone can be that un-selfaware.
she wants publicity to sell her house now that it's not going to be in Homes and Property and now that she can't live there any more because of the Scientologists

actually it's rather brilliant

NappiesGalooooooooooooria · 13/12/2006 23:53

asa pisstake its brilliant.
fact.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 13/12/2006 23:53

Juggzy....

ClementClarkeMoore · 13/12/2006 23:54

Definitely a piss take

myrrhthamoo · 13/12/2006 23:54

Oh, the people she knows...

film producer Julia Barron

Adrian...private banker

A neighbour, Chris Martin, an advertising producer

Thank God that the

"fiftysomething man [who] had suffered serious head injuries" turned out to be nobody of any social standing.

Phew.

Original poster
whensantagotstuckupAITCHimney · 13/12/2006 23:54

no, the story is that my friend was sent this by a friend of his who works for the Indy, which is the paper this silly twunt normally writes for. this piece, however, was in the evening standard. the chap from teh indy had typed it out, he'd been so appalled.
i've actually just rung my friend to re-confirm that is definitely For Real.
anyway, my pal does a lot of blogging for livejournal so he just made a blogspot up for the article so that it was easy for his friends (ie me)to find. it's already been sent to Pseuds Corner... i think we can be sure that the Eye will not take kindly to it.

OP posts:
myrrhthamoo · 13/12/2006 23:55

It has to be a piss-take. Simply because if she was real someone would have killed her by now.

sunnywong · 13/12/2006 23:55

my brain melted too

If she's that up herself WTF is she doing living in Kensal Rise?

sallyhollyberry · 13/12/2006 23:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

moondog · 13/12/2006 23:57

lmao at martha's comment re nobody that is the middle aged bloke with a head wound.

Private Eye are rubbing their hands as we speak...

VeniVidiVickiQV · 13/12/2006 23:58

"In January, it was to have been shot for Homes & Property."

Its been in all manor of publications now, surely this should make her happy?

edam · 13/12/2006 23:59

I find it difficult to believe this was published rather than just existing as a blog. No opportunity to name or brand-drop missed!

NappiesGalooooooooooooria · 13/12/2006 23:59

no aitch. it must be a piss take and as such its brilliant.
if this woman is really like this... she would def have been killed by now, not out of anger, but sheer boredom, surely??
she regularly writes for e newspaper you say?? glad i dont have time to read the sodding things...

VeniVidiVickiQV · 14/12/2006 00:00

Sunny - i think you'll find she doesnt live in Kensal Rise, she lives in "Hampstead".....

NappiesGalooooooooooooria · 14/12/2006 00:01

with the scientlogists

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