What the bloody hell is this creature in my outhouse?? [pic]

[CountryMummy1]

Just been outside the feed the cat who has his food in the outhouse. There, hanging from the old pipework are 3 absolutely huge cocoons. They are hideous! Black and more than 4 inches long. They weren't there yesterday. What the hell is going to come out? AIBU to be very worried?

I think that thing has exploded and taken OP with it

I am working my way through this thread and having palpitations after clicking on DrLego's link . No more clicking on links then . This has to be the most stressful thread I've read on mn so far (bar spider ones that is, because I don't read them).

It's a fungus.

And now it's eaten the OP.

It was nice knowing the OP.

She was a brave soul

I knew it was going to end this way when she poked it. Crazy brave fool.

I really, really need to know what this is now! Otherwise another night of nightmares of pupae and larvae -

Gross. I think it is King Alfred's Cakes. This is a picture from images & it is exactly the same.

I'm concerned that the planet appears to not be burned down by now, just to be safe...

Do you think it was one of them parasite, zombie fungus thingumys that is now controlling the OP and her cat?

Do you have a log burner? One site says it is quite useful stuff!

The fungus is a useful form of tinder for fire-lighting. The brown variety is usually too heavy and dense to be much good; the black variety is lighter and better. It does need to be completely dry, whereupon it will take a spark from traditional flint and steel. It burns slowly, much like a charcoal briquette, with a particularly pungent smoke. Once lit it is quite difficult to extinguish, but fragments can be broken off and transferred to a tinder ball to create an open flame.

Sadly you can't eat it. Edibility: inedible

First thread I have watched. Please don't destroy it OP and come back and tell us whether it is a cocoon or some sort or a fungus.

Bit late to the thread and I see my first two ideas "kill it with fire" and "nuke the Midlands" have been sufficiently covered, so now I'm just waiting to see if it has eaten the OPs cat yet

This is how you use them to start a fire.

www.seriousoutdoorskills.co.uk/blog/king-alfred-cakes-coal-funguscramp-balls

A fire with 'a particularly pungent smoke'.
Glad I'm not in the Midlands, devil fungus and putrid smoke when you kilt he devil fungus

I'd just leave it tbh, it'll do something eventually.

Could be a rare moth.

Can't. Stop. Itching.

Where is OP?

The OP hasn't gone, she just... changed. Her new form is a lot more fungussy!

On a more serious note, there are tonnes of small villages in the Midlands - I'm sure once this thing gets going it'll be too late for us all, nukes or fire notwithstanding. Fungus feeds on nukes anyway (google Chernobyl fungus), so it would just hasten The End.

/resigns herself to her fate

it's either mothra or mutai.
either way you need Godzilla.

Hi All!! Sorry about the delay. I had two projectile vomiting children.

Anyway...... I poked and prodded the 'thing' for a good hour with various implements and made no headway. It was the most solid bastard thing I had ever seen. I was then diverted to puke-gate in the lounge.

When DH came home he got suited up with mask and went to work with the hammer and chisel. He finally broke it up and......................................................................................................

IT WAS A FUNGUS!!!

It was very interesting inside, very much like the inside of a tree trunk. There were A LOT of earwigs living in it though that came scurrying out. So glad I didn't manage to get it off myself.

I will post pics in a min of the inside of it.

Inside it

Uughhhhhh

There were A LOT of earwigs living in it though that came scurrying out.

That's what he told you anyway...

Fascinating. It's good to see it now that it's broken up.

I guess you'll have to do the same to the others?