What the bloody hell is this creature in my outhouse?? [pic]

[CountryMummy1]

Just been outside the feed the cat who has his food in the outhouse. There, hanging from the old pipework are 3 absolutely huge cocoons. They are hideous! Black and more than 4 inches long. They weren't there yesterday. What the hell is going to come out? AIBU to be very worried?

2boys I am supposed to be asleep, but I am lying here giggling about your cat-propelled cotton-bud weapon

Thought as much. I clearly have hidden fungal talents. At least there is no longer mushroom for doubt.

Norks me too :-)

This has to be the funniest thread to ever exist!!! trying not to laugh too loudly and wake up DH!!!

Ps.... hope the kids get better and you dont catch the puking

I can't even look at the word earwig. It's made me puke a bit to write it.

Bravo OP. If there'd been something like that in my outhouse I'd have been on the phone to Mulder and Scully PDQ.

A fungus, eh?

I immigrated to Antarctica to get as far away from the Midlands as possible. I guess it's safe to return now.

OOOh, no Tracy, whatever you do, don't Google.
They live on earwax. From cows, sheep...people, even

....MAGGOTS CARRYING A DEAD RABBIT ACROSS A FIELD

faints

Those will be the giant maggots that hatched out of the so called "fungus"

The OP has been assimilated into the collective and is posting distractions about fungus to move us away from the truth...

Not sure if he swallowed it or sat on it - pmsl

I dreamed about the fungus last night. It was all over my garden. I've not opened the curtains yet this morning.....

Excellent outcome and kudos to your DH for getting in there! Urgh to the earwigs though

Not an zombie alien then?

Shame. I'm settling into my new country though, might stay.

wow! most impressive

earwigs have been known to kill people by crawling into ear canals at night and ending up in brains

true medical fact

ear plugs people, ear plugs

That is so not true Lego!

Hi everyone - thanks for your classics nominations for this thread.
We're going to move it over there now
once we've finished having nightmares

Wonder why there were earwigs in it shudder?

well.. ants have killed people by crawling into their brains. and earwigs really do eat ear wax.

and while on the subject, it urns out some earwigs have 2 penises www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17051546

I'm not sure what a right handed penis is but I wouldn't want 2 of them in my ear.

Op -just told dh about this thread. He is a gardener and generally a bit of a nature geek and he said not to assume your problem has gone with just Jeyes fluid as what you could see would only be the fruit and you will still have a network of spores (I think that's what he meant but he used a longer word!) In the woodwork, so you may need to look into most appropriate fungicidal treatment or risk loosing the outhouse!

I bet that's what fucked my hearing

You know......those line on the inside of it that you say are like the ones in a tree. They could almost be......ribs - or something......

Wooo!
Thinking the cat/ cotton bud combination sealed the classics move

DrLego

I was only jesting.
Really - is that why they are called earwigs ? I always thought that it was because they had tiny, but visible actual ears.
Never seen a pair of lugs on a ladybird, or a caterpiilar
But an actual earwig..I don't know, they are too wick to see and get a good look.