I've told you all before because I'm a boring bastard but I am going to Le Gavroche tomorrow and MICHEL ROUX IS GOING TO MARRY ME

[GetOrfMoiLand]

Possibly.

Anyway je suis tres excited and tres looking forward to the trolley des fromages (and looking forward to showing off my French)

He dreams and plans

He frets - will she like me, my menu?

Is all ready for Her?

I don't care how jealous you are, I adore HER, ma petite GetOrf

Peut-etre she loves me only for my trolley de fromages? I have le wibble

Pauvre Michel. How will it end? Tune in demain pour le next instalment.

Hahaha that is so fantastic, I just really laughed at 'is he all ready for her'

Mind you I hope to god they don't have that thing where they search for names and see where they are mentioned. So I turn up today and they will know that I a, the twat wanting to marry Michel.

It's like when I said JAY RAYNER SEX GOD on here and Jay RAYNER found the thread and tweeted about MN objectifying him. Then his wife turned up and said 'oi he is mine'

Avez vous commenced le pampering?

Ques que avec pour lunch en preparation pour le Micheke fete this nuit?

Avez vous shaved votre jambes?

Je suis agog. Je demande full details of tous. Soi careful of le vin so you have a clear tete and can tell us tous.

Pas de blurry pictures of under the table or the back of someone's tete.

And - smuggle out a bag de chein.

She's still there, isn't she? or Michel has taken out a restraining order

Watch out Mme Roux Jnr

Oui, elle est encore la ou peut-etre sous la table (avec lui si elle avait de chance...)

Never mind marrying MRJ - I'd marry the cheese souffle. HAVE IT FOR EVERY COURSE!

Michel gets his cock out on the table in anticipation of GetOrf's arrival

"When you see 'er coming, Uncle, shove that dome thing on me 'ead. I guarantee she'll piss 'er pants"

[sourire]

BIWI, you just made my day. And I don't even speak french (so I'm entirely under the impression the rest of you do, natch).

Hi Getorf
I hate you, hate you I say
Could you please take photos of the food so I can see?

I have to say, LRD, my Franglais is a lot better than my French!

LeGavrOrf, surely that was Brian Cox?

Or does that happen a lot round here?

My bet is elle fair de l'amour at this very moment.

Ou est GetOrf? Je pense elle est arréste pour le inapropriate behavoir.

Je pense que being arrete is a tidy sight plus likely que faire de l'amour sous la table, si only on account of DD being la.

Ma phone n'aime pas de tout Franglais.

Just to digress, Michel Roux looks like he smells lovely. He always seems clean and fragrant and probably smells of lemons (unlike many TV chefs who look a bit minging and like they probably stink of booze and gravy).

Je think Get is stuffing her bouche et downing les champagne cocktails.

Me pense elle a couche a la table, avec her tete dans la desert.

Oh my bloody giddy aunt.

It was absolutely fantastic.

Michel obviously got wind of the shotgun wedding as a apparently he is in Scotland.

I had tres delicieux manges avec une totale bouteille de vim blanc parce que am fille me pas un pisshead et deuce verre de champagne.

I had lobster, duck et fromages ET un pudding.

Je suis a bit le plastered. Je suis dans mon chambre de hotel faire un petit lie down.

I love my daughter. LOVE. We went shopping after. I was a bit fizzy so bought beaucoup of vetements which he pas fit me.

I will come and talk about it properly demain.

I am not as drunk as that looks.

Je suis on iPad avec les fingers fat.

I am dunk actuellement.

Ah ma petite LeGavrOrf - je pense je love you lots for that

Dronqué pendant la journée? Quelle horreur!

Glad it was good . Tell us more tomorrow...