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Center Parcs & Anal sex

290 replies

shadyl · 16/01/2012 20:22

So for the past 4 years I've been badgering DH for us to go to Center Parcs. He's been reticent on account of it being 'naff' and 'like Butlins but with trees' I disagree but anyway...

Eventually we went to Center Parcs, Longleat over the Christmas period (it was great) and I noticed that he had packed a tube of KY but didn't think anything of it. So we get back home and he makes some silly joke about 'no bumfun' despite 'my promises'.

Now there is no way in hell anything is ever going up my back bottom so I questioned what he meant (assuming he was joking). And he said that "according to Mumsnet" Center Parcs =anal sex. Apparently I had told him this over 4 years ago.

I have no memory of this link between Center Parcs and anal. Can someone confirm that there is a Center Parcs/anal meme in the same vein as nice ham?

Anyway, I got the hump.
He claims he was joking and made it all up because he thought I would find it funny
It's all too weird and I'm still a bit offended. Can't tell if I'm being oversensitive and it really was all a joke or whether he really did think that bum-business was on the menu.

OP posts:
justonemorethread · 02/02/2012 22:16

Anyway why would he equate going to centreparcs to him getting anal sex on the back of an alleged thread years ago?
Especially if you never had that conversation with him before going???

SonOfAradia · 07/02/2012 20:21

Ah, the infamous thread!

I have a friend who works for Center Parcs. She said that the Marketing bods aren't best pleased that Googling Center Parcs turns up 'Center Parcs & Anal sex' as the 6th result.

As a company based on family holidays, I suppose they've got a point :-O

sassyTHEFIRST · 07/02/2012 20:25

Ah feck. Going to cp this week. Various activities planned - swimming, tennis, indoor climbing wall etc. emphatically NO anal sex.

Dh is certainly not climbing my indoor wall that's a fact.

Fink · 07/02/2012 20:31

@SonOfAradia It's up to 5th now, I just tried it. How can we bump it up even further? Wink

40thisisit · 07/02/2012 20:35

was 7th when i tried lol Hmm

52with2under4thenewdementia · 07/02/2012 20:42

OMG just back from CP longleat. Far too cold for any kind of action, least of all this. Have a very sore arse but only from inexperienced bike riding!!!!!

EightToSixer · 07/02/2012 20:57

Haha. Hatvan amazing thread. Will never ever think of Center Parcs without thinking of bum love ever again!

LydiaWickham · 07/02/2012 21:07

oh, just googled, up to 4th!

bran · 07/02/2012 21:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Portland573 · 28/02/2012 19:28

There's a lass at work really looking forward to a stay. Trouble is, whenever se mentions it, this infamous thread is all I can think of. Haven't told her of course...

PufftyMagicDragon · 28/02/2012 19:37

ahahah! so glad i didnt go there for my honeymoon now mwhahaha :D

devilsadvocaat · 28/02/2012 19:46

I've just been on Facebook and one of my friend's status is:

Sore bum @ centre parks

She says it's from bike riding...

Imagine my surprise when I saw this thread :)

baffledmum · 24/04/2012 21:07

I have laughed and laughed at this thread. It is priceless. My DH googled CP this morning and this thread was about 8 down still. He read it laughing.

We are going to CP shortly - will keep my wits about me. Grin

VivaLeBeaver · 24/04/2012 21:16

The threads four down when you google it now. I'm going next month!

YellowDinosaur · 24/07/2012 23:06

Still at number 6 3 months on :o:o:o:o

Don't know how I missed this the first time round but thankyou for making me cry with laughter although not sure dh really 'got' it when I tried to explain through the tears :o

QuietTiger · 25/07/2012 09:33

You know what, I just HAD to Google Centre Parcs! Am currently PMSL that indeed, the infamous thread is number 6!

NickL · 25/07/2012 09:53

It's obvious. Because you park "it" in the centre.

dranksinatra · 25/07/2012 12:04

Already the best thread EVER.
and i thinks a lot of you protesteth too much, that's all I'm saying..
Know what I'm saying?
He gave in to her request, can't she do a lil something to say thanks...

Greatauntirene · 25/07/2012 18:42

wanksinatra surely.

dranksinatra · 26/07/2012 06:39

Don't call me Shirley..

kellyNo7 · 26/07/2012 14:55

Oh, why not just try it...you might be surprised.

Marigold1 · 26/07/2012 21:19

At centre parcs, I think you will find its called Bournville Boulevard and Cadbury Alley at Butlins :)

Noddynomates · 12/09/2012 11:45

It is important that you use a good strength condom, with a good lubricant.

We have found that the thin types can easily tear and can cause injury

Jemma47 · 20/09/2012 20:20

Good grief..keep the back doors firmly closed. One can always just encourage 'putting the tip in with a condom on" and whilst DH is asleep make sure you place some chewed sweet corn on the discarded condom on the floor.

DH has never asked me again for it yet.........

DippyDoohdah · 20/09/2012 22:12

Bloody hilarious thread!

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