Center Parcs & Anal sex

[shadyl]

So for the past 4 years I've been badgering DH for us to go to Center Parcs. He's been reticent on account of it being 'naff' and 'like Butlins but with trees' I disagree but anyway...

Eventually we went to Center Parcs, Longleat over the Christmas period (it was great) and I noticed that he had packed a tube of KY but didn't think anything of it. So we get back home and he makes some silly joke about 'no bumfun' despite 'my promises'.

Now there is no way in hell anything is ever going up my back bottom so I questioned what he meant (assuming he was joking). And he said that "according to Mumsnet" Center Parcs =anal sex. Apparently I had told him this over 4 years ago.

I have no memory of this link between Center Parcs and anal. Can someone confirm that there is a Center Parcs/anal meme in the same vein as nice ham?

Anyway, I got the hump.
He claims he was joking and made it all up because he thought I would find it funny
It's all too weird and I'm still a bit offended. Can't tell if I'm being oversensitive and it really was all a joke or whether he really did think that bum-business was on the menu.

[OhIWishThereWasABook]

There are tears rolling down my cheeks and I'm trying to avoid answering children when they ask me 'what's funny mummy?' This is one of the funniest things I've ever read.
I shall never look at their adverts in the same way again.....
Something obviously stuck in OP's DH mind for all this time. I can just picture his disillusioned face on drive home.

[kittybiscuits]

If bumfun has expired, try chocolatefinger - it's a two-for-one offer!

[LadyKinbote]

I'm going to Center Parcs at Easter

Will not be showing DH this thread...

[LeChance]

Pack the lurpak darling, we're off to Center Parcs!

[thefirstmrsrochester]

Am just back from centre parcs where there was no bumsex or indeed any sec at all. Sheets too crisp to ruin.

[thefirstmrsrochester]

*sex

[sweetkitty]

I've been to CPs 5 times since having children but haven't had anal sex since having children, bloody piles has put that off the menu forever.

Unless CPs spa has a new piles removing treatment?

[MooMooSkit]

Oh my god this is the best thread ever! It needs to go in classics!

[TheRealChurchill]

Eugh Anal sex is completely sickening who would want to do such vulgar things Confused:

[luanmapo]

OMG....I stumbled across this thread. I work at CP ...so not looking forward to changing the bed sheets tomorrow after reading this!! HAHA

[CashmereHoodlum]

This is currently the 5th result when you google Center Parcs. Can we get in any higher?

[JamesSpader]

Good grief, what a foosty old bunch on this thread - in my minds eye, this is akin to a bunch of Les Dawson's gossiping over the back garden fence. Disappointing that so many people are still so unadventurous, closed-minded and nervous.
A tip for anyone who is undecided... have a nice bath and get all nice and clean then lube up and go for it. It does help if your man has an appreciation of what he's doing to you (a finger will open his eyes) and just take it nice and slow and keep applying the lube. We have phases where its on the menu every week and then don't think about it for months.
But, as you all must know, if its a burning desire and he's not getting it from you, he'll eventually get it from somewhere........... so, is it still nay, nay and thrice nay??! Loosen up!!

[CheeryCherry]

I forgot how funny this thread is! MN at its best!

[eccentrica]

I wouldn't let you shag me up anything after that condescending post, even if you were the real JamesSpader.

[ElBombero]

Hahahahahahahahaha

Cheered me right up

[Panthering]

Anal is fantastic.... I don't blame him for wanting it!!! am i the only woman that thinks so????

I'd say book up somewhere a bit less 'family' for a naughty weekend, pack the KY and just have fun... I'm sure after that hell do anything you ask!!!!

[Paddingtonblue]

Dear mumsnet, I love you for making me guffaw. This thread really deserve the classics status.

[deepfriedsage]

Oh dear zombie classic, have you found mn due to the viral thread?

[Paddingtonblue]

No, just needed a good laugh and you can really rely on classsics for that.

[deepfriedsage]

Oh I was taking to poster who started the anal thread in relationships.

[Sapphire247]

Dear Shadyl,

"I'm getting more and more offended by him and I can't tell whether I'm having a sense of humour failure......"

Well, speaking as a gentleman, can I just add that if your other half keeps on making you feel uncomfortable then perhaps you can apply a swift boot up his very own Khyber Pass until he gets the message that you're not particularly amused? If that doesn't make him wrap up, you can always crush two OXO cubes into a boiling cup under his nose. That should make him sweat!

As it happens, we weren't over-impressed with Center Parcs anyway, probably because we don't do much sport. About £750 for 4 days of holiday in a forest with fairly consistent drizzle and nowt much of great interest for us to do did seem a bit steep for our tight family budget but, in fairness, the swimming pool and log flumes were indeed great fun and the scenery and overall organisation of the facilities was very good. It's great if you're into sport. Still, it's nothing you couldn't arrange for yourselves with bikes and a carefully chosen holiday let. I'd prefer a few days walking and cycling in the New Forest anytime. The trouble is clearing your diaries and actually making it happen.

Am I digressing?

[dadlovesthatboy]

I don't see what the fuss is about. Centre Parcs, anal sex? Known for it. Why else would you go?

[ScorpioMermaid]

Mt mum loves centre pars