My vagine is itching like mad.

[BupcakesandCunting]

Namechanged for obvious reasons. :(

My minge is itching like buggery. No discharge/whiffiness, just a very itchy vulva (as per namechange ) Have done a Caneten pessary on saturday and been applying the cream but nothing is working.

Suggestions please? And don't say "wash yer minge"

I learned clunge off The Inbetweeners. Some women don't like it. I, on the other hand, think it's marvellous!

Dear god, cuntworms are a real thing?!

Apparently they are arseworms without satnav.

which frenulum though, Floydie?

Celebrity flaps Ahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Vagine is a pretty name for a girl.

Glad the raging inferno of itchyness has subsided bupcakes. I have experienced the climbing the walls misery of an irritated minge.

Nooooo to soap on the nether regions!

Worms in the eyes must be worse though.

Do you think the VIFs might be papped getting out of a car outside a nightclub. Up skirt shot?

Keeping in the cunt context then the fanjo frenulum would be appropriate Thumbwitch

Frenulum In females, genital frenula include the frenulum clitoridis of the clitoris and the frenulum labiorum pudendi (aka fourchette) where the labia minora meet at the back.

Of course we could be talking banjo-string...

Some epic dullard other poster has just told me that my name is crap!

or you could be talking about the frenulum under the tongue, or the one that holds the top lip down too! - it's a wide-ranging term, innit - the top lip one is closest to the philtre as well.

Classics committee are still debating this apparently...

buppy, WHAT? how dare they?

Miss Celebrity Flapps papped at the recent Golden Globes Awards ceremony - she is wearing Roberto Cavalli in beaded cream silk taffeta.

Meh. I love my name. So sker-rew YOU!

Oh my fucking christ, Talc.

Talc, would that dress be ok to wear to a wedding? Not too 'showy offy'?

Yes, Tufty - it's not very 'out there' at all.

It is demure. Can imagine Keira Knightly simpering in it.

I'll order it then.Should I show my mum first or just go for the 'big reveal'?

Bupcakes, bicarbonate of soda. That's what you need. It works for anything; stains, itches, sickness, blood removal, felt pen removal...anything.

talc, I dont think my retinas will ever be the same!

there was a young lady called buppers
whose threadworm found himself on his uppers
he soon took the lunge
and moved to her clunge
and had apricot yogurt for suppers

Just

I'm never going to be able to sleep again.

buppers - how very dare she/he/it!! nowt wrong with your name.

Talc - just blech.

Lissie - genius!

Lissie

Glad to hear La Vagine is better Bups and you don't have cuntworms.

I read your OP while I was on a confernce call and actually snorted with laughter. I had to pretend there were problems with the phone line

Lissie! You've finished me off!

Thanks, Val. You know what though? I'm actually a bit sad that I haven't got cuntworms. I miss them and I never had them. :(

Maybe we can all club together and get you something like this

I'm sure we could find a type of cuntworm somewhere on the internet for sale to populate it.

All the joy of cuntworms with none of the itching