As the name suggests, I am sadly (but not that sadly) doing a shiney penguin....

[sadlydoingshineypenguins]

Quick potted history. With boyfriend 9 months. Not that serious but we had had the exclusive talk. Met on a dating site.

About a month ago had a feeling something wasn't right. Few nights he was supposed to be here and cancelled for dopey reasons that set my spidey sense tingling.

Looked on the dating site and lo and beholdy there is was, active, having logged in in the last 24 hours.

But I am not as stupid as he thinks I am.

I set up a profile called thisblokeliesandcheats (it's been taken down) with all his details except photo and spelled out what he'd done (thanks whoever that was who suggested that one) and I will probably do it again

At this point he's said he's coming here Thursday night to stop for the weekend (he doesn't work Friday)

BUT he has also arranged to meet "Anna" off the dating site at a lovely new restaurant for lunch on the Friday about an hour away from here (half an hour from his house)

Obviously, I am Anna.

So, how long do I keep this going. My teeth are itching I want to tell him so much

Am also a little upset, but I had nothing invested in the relationship, so my pride has taken a hit and I feel a bit of a mug but other than that am grand.

Spot on cardi.

Greatnorksoffire. Yes.

And sadly, you are clever too coz you said flip too.

Warns norks that as she reads the thread will keep getting longer.

Voice of experience when reading this morning.

youarekidding - I started reading this yesterday and had to speed read the rest this afternoon. I nearly went feckin blind!

Norks - if we all shut up for an hour, how's that for you to catch up?

I forgot about the thread this afternoon (I know, how could I), and have just caught up on the whole thing. Genius from start to finish. Brava, sadly!

Just wanted to say 'nice work shineypenguin, nice work..

Right. Now I'm sure you are okay, I'm off to watch shite Friday night tv.

Well done again sadly, you are awesome. xx

I just read the whole bleddy thread...do I get a prize?!

Amazing, brilliant work! I am proud to be a mumsnetter (even if I was a bit late )

Well done sadly, I've been out all day and unable to access MN so have just caught up (eyes sore now from reading so quick!)

You have done brilliantly sadly, and deserve a good few bottles of bicardi breezer only joking...I mean Pinot Grigio! tonight.

My dd and I have been wearing stripes in you honour today, and I also agree that either a stripy smiley or a penguin is definetly needed here.

Tell him 'I really don't want to see you. I've just logged back onto and see your profile is active. Good luck with that, you need it.'

well I picked a week to go on holiday!!

bloody missed all this and spent the evening catching up...

NICE ONE OP!!

Fucking marvellous thread - not posted before but been reading it since Thursday. Have just caught up with today's events - brilliant. I actually got butterflies in my stomach with the Anna texts at around 1 pm ish.

Best thread in a long time on MN, and deserves a place in classics. And OP you absolutely rock!!

Fabulous, just fabulous

Hoorah for Anna. Well done on dumping the twunt OP :)

let him meet her 4 lunch then phone him (he's bound to drop your call) and say Anna wont be meeting you, and leave it at that! You get the revenge without the ugly scene and remove him from your life with the help of a bin bag on ur doorstep.

You're a bit late with that one, Essex

Genius idea EssexVic Let's do that everyone.

Essex, that's brilliant, genuinely!

@ EssexVic who is about a day too late!

I think 'C U Next Tuesday' will give it away. It is really important that he knows he has been dumped twice in one day. What a bastard.

I would be a teeny bit tempted to create another profile and stand him up just once more for good meausure. It's only £10 for another mobile and is a good investment. I'm not sure he has learnt his lesson ... yet.

loves it well done shineypenguin!

Not read the thread but why bother??? Tell him to f off and put it down to experience, don't internet date. I've done it and same thing as you, went on lots of first dates with men that I would rather stick pins in my eyes than sleep with. The ones worth seeing again are messing around behind your back.

Just pack him in, tell him how you caught him out though. Knock internet dating on the head.

Tesco does sim cards for 99p. I'm just saying........