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Original poster

As the name suggests, I am sadly (but not that sadly) doing a shiney penguin....

1001 replies

sadlydoingshineypenguins · 24/08/2011 07:52

Quick potted history. With boyfriend 9 months. Not that serious but we had had the exclusive talk. Met on a dating site.

About a month ago had a feeling something wasn't right. Few nights he was supposed to be here and cancelled for dopey reasons that set my spidey sense tingling.

Looked on the dating site and lo and beholdy there is was, active, having logged in in the last 24 hours.

But I am not as stupid as he thinks I am.

I set up a profile called thisblokeliesandcheats (it's been taken down) with all his details except photo and spelled out what he'd done (thanks whoever that was who suggested that one) and I will probably do it again

At this point he's said he's coming here Thursday night to stop for the weekend (he doesn't work Friday)

BUT he has also arranged to meet "Anna" off the dating site at a lovely new restaurant for lunch on the Friday about an hour away from here (half an hour from his house)

Obviously, I am Anna.

So, how long do I keep this going. My teeth are itching I want to tell him so much Grin

Am also a little upset, but I had nothing invested in the relationship, so my pride has taken a hit and I feel a bit of a mug but other than that am grand.

OP posts:
tigerdriverII · 28/08/2011 00:21

Shiney! Xxxxx

Don't go on here much now, but I saw this thread and thought of you.

What larks, Tiger x

saffronwblue · 28/08/2011 12:30

Sadly - come and give us an update on how the weekend has been.

Original poster
sadlydoingshineypenguins · 28/08/2011 12:38

Baby sat for my friend last night.

He has texted a few times - he feels he "deserves" an explanation I have told him I have given him his explanation - I've had a think and I only accept the best and he isn't it.

I have a horrible sick feeling that he's going to turn up here at some point today though Sad I will have to just turn him at the door, not let him in.

To be fair, it's pretty rotten to dump someone by text after all this time Sad and if I was in his shoes (well without the skanking around meeting someone else but I mean if I was with someone for that length of time) I'd want a face to face explanation too Sad

OP posts:
Katisha · 28/08/2011 12:41

Well why not give him his explanation - he was meeting "Other women" as he thought. No answer to that one.

Thumbwitch · 28/08/2011 12:45

Sadly - how far away does he live from you? Is he likely to do a lightning drop-in?
Just tell him you're busy with stuff all day if he wants to see you.

If you want to give him any kind of hint about knowing he was messing around on the dating site, you could say that a friend of yours was on the same dating site and saw him on there - NO mention of "Anna" or any of that malarkey, just say that it was noticed he was fishing for other dates.

But you don't NEED to tell him any of that - your explanation is good enough - he's not good enough for you.

Original poster
sadlydoingshineypenguins · 28/08/2011 12:50

Thumb - he's about half an hour drive from here.

I just know if it was me I'd want a face to face meeting iyswim?

Sorry - am feeling a bit wobbly today Sad At the end of the day the Anna thing was a good laugh and yes he made a dick of himself but it doesn't change the fact that he fucked me around and I don't know if that was literal or just dates with other women Sad

I really don't want to refer to the dating site at all - just you're not for me.

Onward and upwards hey? Smile

OP posts:
PercyPigPie · 28/08/2011 12:59

Sorry you are feeling wobbly Sadly. I think you are right to refuse an explanation - afterall, he didn't bother with one when he decided you weren't 'the one' and to look around, did he?

SeymoreButts · 28/08/2011 13:14

Sadly it's even more rotten to arrange to meet other women for dates when he was in a relationship with you. You don't owe him anything. Try to remember how calmly he lied to you.

Stick to your original reason, it's true after all. Why would you settle for someone who would do that to you? He knows it too.

It's definitely onwards and upwards from here. Smile

Thumbwitch · 28/08/2011 13:20

Aww, sadly. Wobbly is understandable - after all, you've been with him for 9m. Just remember it was a lucky escape - and the wobbliness may be the aftershock of the adrenaline high of Friday as well, tbh.

stick with the "you're not the one for me" explanation - what else does he need?

And yes, onwards and upwards.

Do change your name again - you're not going to be "sadly" after this! :)

missmogwi · 28/08/2011 14:03

It's understandable you're having a wobble about binning him by text BUT remember he's a lying cheating pigface who doesn't deserve your consideration.

If you'd just chucked him for another reason it would be a bit mean but he's taken the absolute piss!

Just shows that he doesn't deserve you anyway Sadly, you're too nice for himSmile

Original poster
sadlydoingshineypenguins · 28/08/2011 14:29

Thanks folks. Am going to be totally self-indulgent and go for a bath and then bed for an hour or two. Have eaten a totally huge bowl of pasta so there won't be a repeat of yesterday's beans nearly down the sink episode Grin

OP posts:
Ben10WasTheSpawnNowWeLoveLego · 28/08/2011 16:01

Sadly - just wanted to say that I am laid up in pain but reading your efforts through have really cheered me up as you have shown such strength through what is pretty shitty really. Enjoy your bath and sleep!:)

Ben10WasTheSpawnNowWeLoveLego · 28/08/2011 16:01

BTW I just read every post in one go as I got so hooked Grin

Carrotsandcelery · 28/08/2011 16:10

Sadly it wouldn't say much about you if you didn't feel a bit sad now all the excitement has died down.

You will perk up again and look back at this and laugh.

Remember, he was the one who chose to spoil things and the way he went about it means he deserved everything he got. I think a dumping by text is nothing compared to how he behaved.

Enjoy your bath and snooze. Be good to yourself.

TrillianAstra · 28/08/2011 16:26

If it was you you'd want a face to face chat.

But if it was you you wouldn't have been on the internet chatting up Anna while still going out with shineypenguins now would you?

Kestryn · 28/08/2011 16:33

You've been great, Sadly, it's understandable that you're feeling low now the rush is over - having us all calling you Sadly can't help, though! Would you consider changing your name now? Maybe to StripeyPenguin?

Original poster
sadlydoingshineypenguins · 28/08/2011 16:35

Maybe I should be gladididshineypenguins?

Or annaannawhothefuckisanna or is that too long lol Wink

Cannot believe this thread is nearly full Shock

OP posts:
Kestryn · 28/08/2011 16:36

Not to mention being a classic Grin. At this rate you could even have a sequel.

Thumbwitch · 28/08/2011 16:38

you could reduce it to "whothefuckisanna" - that would be ok :)
I would probably steer clear of keeping the shineypenguins bit, only because some people might reduce it to shiney and that might be confused with the other Shiney.
Gladtobestripey? Or stripeypenguinsaregreat? or AnnathePengin?
Actually, I quite like Annathepenguin...

Original poster
sadlydoingshineypenguins · 28/08/2011 16:39

I like AnnathePenguin too Thumb, kind of a nod to Shiney without being shiney iyswim?

OP posts:
Original poster
sadlydoingshineypenguins · 28/08/2011 16:40

Or youvebeenpenguined Grin

OP posts:
Kestryn · 28/08/2011 16:40

I like AnnathePenguin too Grin

LeBOF · 28/08/2011 16:41

If he keeps bugging for for an explanation, just say that there's no point meeting up to talk, because there's nothing further to say and you don't want to drag it out. You don't owe him anything- the danger of long explanatory chats is that one person generally tries to persuade the other that the 'problem' can be resolved, whereas not wanting to continue a relationship is reason enough: you shouldn't be pressured into "fixing" anything.

But yes, change your name to something cheerier!

Carrotsandcelery · 28/08/2011 16:43

Annathepenguin sums it up perfectly!

Thumbwitch · 28/08/2011 16:44

Yay! Go for AnnathePenguin - then we'll all still know who you are. Glad you liked the suggestion :)

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