As the name suggests, I am sadly (but not that sadly) doing a shiney penguin....

[sadlydoingshineypenguins]

Quick potted history. With boyfriend 9 months. Not that serious but we had had the exclusive talk. Met on a dating site.

About a month ago had a feeling something wasn't right. Few nights he was supposed to be here and cancelled for dopey reasons that set my spidey sense tingling.

Looked on the dating site and lo and beholdy there is was, active, having logged in in the last 24 hours.

But I am not as stupid as he thinks I am.

I set up a profile called thisblokeliesandcheats (it's been taken down) with all his details except photo and spelled out what he'd done (thanks whoever that was who suggested that one) and I will probably do it again

At this point he's said he's coming here Thursday night to stop for the weekend (he doesn't work Friday)

BUT he has also arranged to meet "Anna" off the dating site at a lovely new restaurant for lunch on the Friday about an hour away from here (half an hour from his house)

Obviously, I am Anna.

So, how long do I keep this going. My teeth are itching I want to tell him so much

Am also a little upset, but I had nothing invested in the relationship, so my pride has taken a hit and I feel a bit of a mug but other than that am grand.

pmsl @balloonslayer

Balloonslayer - that is genuis. Large baldy headed mate, covered in tattoos (but a real softie but looks hard as nails) would he do??

Sounds perfect. As your ex flees he could shout after him "Ah c'mon mate! I know how to treat a man!"

Am off to work but will be back later so keep the ideas coming folks

Back in the real world....obviously you have to be a little careful as he knows where you live. How about Anna doesn't turn up for lunch, getting one of us to lurk, then you dump him by text as he is patiently waiting for her....double let down for him.

Why on earth do people (ie men) behave like this. Are they really stupid enough to think that everyone elswe is stupid enough for them to get away with it

make him squirm, OP

Will tell more later, but all i would say is have the last laugh but never let on. You dont want to look like the nutter and you keep the upper hand/ control. In the meantime start mirroring his behaviour, like saying you are 'going for a drink with a workmate' got 'to nip out somewhere' but get dressed up first. Then he recognises his bevaviour and thinks you are up to somerhing. Never let on that you are on to him! He he he! Mwah ha ha ha!

*Something

Please turn up and be Anna. Take a couple of friends to sit on the next table and video it.

Actually, bollocks to that.

BalloonSlayer's idea is a million times better. Make sure you go in disguise with a friend and watch.

Let a friend be Anna.

Then come for lunch to the same place with another friend, "bump" into Anna and "share notes".

Marking my place :o

Oh this thread would be too funny if it wasn't for the fact that your BF of 9 months has turned out to be such an ARSE :( So sorry about that... but glad you're keeping your sense of humour and making the best of a bad situation.

Also just want to stick up for internet dating..

I met my husband on match.com we got married this year, been together 2 years and currently TTC #1

Maybe we both just got really lucky?! The trick is to be really fussy with the people that email you. Bad spellers, crude comments etc were straight out
eg "heya luv i seen ur profile ur really pretty dya wanna come 4 dinner or somefink?"

My now DH wrote a lovely coherent message properly punctuated which obviously wasn't just cut and pasted to loads of ladies it referenced lots of things that I'd actually said in my profile. We chatted on email every day for 2 weeks before going for a cup of coffee. The rest as they say is history.

Anyway sorry to steal the thread, as you were ... :o

I can't wait to see how he is going to tell you he is popping out on friday!

Oh he's getting dumped regardless.

It's just a question of how long I string it out for. And how evil I feel by friday

Heidi - lucky you!

Don't know what he's going to say on Friday, but he may plead tiredness and decide not to come over on Thursday night and suggest Friday afternoon - he did that one night a couple of weeks ago and I now suspect he was out on a date with someone else

Oh and can I be needy and say I want Shiney on my thread we need the original evil genius to make the thread complete

Sadly, whatever you decide to do you have to make sure you have the last laugh. Have you got nobody who can meet him as "Anna" ?

Or just let him go to the date and while he is waiting send him a text saying 'is Anna there yet?'

I could get one of my best mates to meet him - for various reasons they have never met (although he's met most of my friends and I his) but she's taller than me, although we have the same hair colour.

Like the idea of letting him go on the date and texting him, but also like the idea of letting him go on the date and randomly texting him (as far as he is concerned) to say that I don't feel it's working out and we should call it quits. Then he's doubly dumped and at the same time

There is no way I could allow his humiliation to happen, in whatever form it may take, without actually being there to witness it.

I heart you ballonslayer, you've just given my Tena Lady a real run for it's money!

Half of me says move on, leave it, walk away with your head held high, and the other says send in the baldy man! You may as well have some fun dumping this git.

If you do go for the humiliation dump, then make sure you're there to see it!

And make sure you report back to this thread what happened!

See mouse that's how I feel. Half of me wants the fun of the "humiliation dump" (great term btw)

The other half thinks why waste my fucking time I should just text him today and say You're a wanker you're fucking me about and lying have a nice life toodlepip