As the name suggests, I am sadly (but not that sadly) doing a shiney penguin....

[sadlydoingshineypenguins]

Quick potted history. With boyfriend 9 months. Not that serious but we had had the exclusive talk. Met on a dating site.

About a month ago had a feeling something wasn't right. Few nights he was supposed to be here and cancelled for dopey reasons that set my spidey sense tingling.

Looked on the dating site and lo and beholdy there is was, active, having logged in in the last 24 hours.

But I am not as stupid as he thinks I am.

I set up a profile called thisblokeliesandcheats (it's been taken down) with all his details except photo and spelled out what he'd done (thanks whoever that was who suggested that one) and I will probably do it again

At this point he's said he's coming here Thursday night to stop for the weekend (he doesn't work Friday)

BUT he has also arranged to meet "Anna" off the dating site at a lovely new restaurant for lunch on the Friday about an hour away from here (half an hour from his house)

Obviously, I am Anna.

So, how long do I keep this going. My teeth are itching I want to tell him so much

Am also a little upset, but I had nothing invested in the relationship, so my pride has taken a hit and I feel a bit of a mug but other than that am grand.

I intend to ignore that last text. Go out. Dump text in a couple of hours

Never give him the satisfaction of knowing you and Anna are one and the same - the memory of this afternoon has to be left to fester and knaw away at his very being [cue evil laugh and thunderclaps] Mwaahh haaa haa haaa haaaaaa!

[makes mental note never to cross a Mner]

perfect - distracted by mate problems got to go out.

Yes perfect and with thumb's suggestion of less than perfect, definitely.

knaw = gnaw, obviously

I think he now knows that something isn't right with you and him, you were quiet all morning and rhen the 'whatever' text. i think strike whilst the pain is fresh, DUMP HIM NOW!!!

Sorry not read through all of it. Are you using 2 different phones to text him?

Stay strong Sadly this has been the best MN thread in aaaaages. Whoever suggested the slogan about Mumsnet, seeing off dickheads or something is a genius. Take a bow.

Have a lovely afternoon, and definitely get your friend on MN (I suggest AnnaAnnaWhoTheFuckIsAnna)

shineypenguins - just want to say you are a MN legend, a great sport and a very strong woman. Need to go off and attend to bored child now, but in the meantime, look after yourself.

Hope you've got a fantastic weekend planned, with lots of you-time, pampering, fun stuff to do.

Genuinely lol'd at Trillian.

Fimbo, yes she is using 2 separate phones.

Good work Shiney, hopefully he'll just think you fobbing him off last night was all part of you getting cold feet.

He must be feeling about an inch tall right now...

I think you should just give your DD2 the phone. And IF twuntbellendknob ever texts 'Anna' again her mum can reply with 'who are you? don't ever text my X year old DD again or I'll call the police'.

Now that WILL fuck with his head.

Why are you all giving him explanations, just dump the fucker. Over, finito, no explanation needed.

Ace thread, have been lurking but had to say well done. Love the 'P

Ooops, pressed post too early. Meant to say 'Love the PS, your penis is surprisingly small' You should say that.

So brilliant - I've been watching all day and am on the edge of my chair to see the end of the story - sadly you are fab!

Well done! This is classic!

Yay classics! :o

This is an out and out classic

Hurrah! Classics is definitely where it should be - thanks SophieRMN!

Stripey top here too . Loving the thread, Penguins. You deserve someone far better than Bellend Boy.
MN kicks arse!

Sadly brilliant! That bloody real life caught up with me and I had to tend to a child of mine, just caught up. Was thinking of you while out. Soooooo pleased the first bit's done, bring on the PART II!

This is the classic of all classics in classics history. Ever.