As the name suggests, I am sadly (but not that sadly) doing a shiney penguin....

[sadlydoingshineypenguins]

Quick potted history. With boyfriend 9 months. Not that serious but we had had the exclusive talk. Met on a dating site.

About a month ago had a feeling something wasn't right. Few nights he was supposed to be here and cancelled for dopey reasons that set my spidey sense tingling.

Looked on the dating site and lo and beholdy there is was, active, having logged in in the last 24 hours.

But I am not as stupid as he thinks I am.

I set up a profile called thisblokeliesandcheats (it's been taken down) with all his details except photo and spelled out what he'd done (thanks whoever that was who suggested that one) and I will probably do it again

At this point he's said he's coming here Thursday night to stop for the weekend (he doesn't work Friday)

BUT he has also arranged to meet "Anna" off the dating site at a lovely new restaurant for lunch on the Friday about an hour away from here (half an hour from his house)

Obviously, I am Anna.

So, how long do I keep this going. My teeth are itching I want to tell him so much

Am also a little upset, but I had nothing invested in the relationship, so my pride has taken a hit and I feel a bit of a mug but other than that am grand.

Just so we are on the right wavelength......OP is now setting her sights on her brilliant bright future.....leaving knobheads behind and is ready for Mr Scrumptious. Yeah?

her not here!

Fab apologies I missed your post! Yes, that would work - bellend you're a knob. Now get yourself to the far side of fuck. And block .

Good luck sadly.
(goes off to find a stripey top to wear in solidarity today)

Shamelessly marking my spot Good luck OP!

Right.

Me and my friend (who would have been fake Anna) worked out a plan last night.

Normally me and BellendBoy would be texting in the morning - I am not going to text him. If he texts me he will get one word yes/no/whatever answers.

Then at just before 1pm he will get a "sorry not working out for me used seeing xxx as an excuse last night. don't want to see you anymore. have a nice life"

If he rings or texts to ask why I'm just going to stick to the not working out for me line.

Meanwhile, Anna will string him along until around 1.30 and then tell him she walked past, looked in the window, he's not her type too ugly and too fat she's not going to waste her time (all in txtspk with rubbish spelling)

Your thoughts oh you nest of vipers?

I think that is perfect.
Although if he rings/texts you more than once, don't answer - don't get drawn into a discussion (bet he doesn't ring until after 'Anna' has stood him up anyway!)

Good luck with it and better luck next time! Clear all negative stuff out the way so that the next bloke you attract isn't a bellend. :)

I still think I just don 't like you is better .

OK then "I just don't like you"

Good luck.

Thanks. Had rather too much last night but feel more in control now I have a plan

- ues, that works just as well, if not better. And will appease the vipers more (although tbh they're more like ravening woleves on here! )

Also, am practicing my "I don't give a fuck detach detach detach" in case he turns up here to talk to me (when Anna has stood him up) I'm not going to let him in the door, if he does. Just don't like you, it's not working, over and over. And my friend has banned me from saying "sorry, I don't like you" because as she pointed out I am not a bit sorry

Your friend is very wise! is she on here as well?

Will be signing in at about 1pm for update! Glad you have a plan

She's not on here. But she should be she has this silly notion that because she has no kids then MN isn't for her. This thread and the classics I showed her last night may have changed her mind

Great plan. Good luck with it.

Had another thought last night when I was struggling to get to sleep.

Anna texts "when I saw you in real life I recognised you from [somewhere you and he go to]. Last time I saw you you had a pretty girlfriend, so you lied to me about being single. My mates and I always called you 'fat bloke punching above his weight.' "

But I think the plan you have is better though.

PMSL @pretty girlfriend and fat bloke punching above his weight

Sadly, i hope you told her there are plenty of people on here with no kids! She sounds as though she'd fit right in...

I think she would she's funny and articulate, doesn't suffer fools gladly and swears like a trooper and drinks loads of

sadly thinking of you today and I too am wearing a stripey top

I am at the thought of all these women in stripey tops in solidarity with Anna.

If I pass anyone in the supermarket later with a stripey top on I will be wondering if they are a MNetter....

Actually, friend thought of that one too. Just in case he does call here after Anna dumps him, be wearing a beige stripey top and capri pants......

no, he might realise you're anna and then he'll start his revenge

True. And we had had rather a lot of at that point