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Original poster

As the name suggests, I am sadly (but not that sadly) doing a shiney penguin....

1001 replies

sadlydoingshineypenguins · 24/08/2011 07:52

Quick potted history. With boyfriend 9 months. Not that serious but we had had the exclusive talk. Met on a dating site.

About a month ago had a feeling something wasn't right. Few nights he was supposed to be here and cancelled for dopey reasons that set my spidey sense tingling.

Looked on the dating site and lo and beholdy there is was, active, having logged in in the last 24 hours.

But I am not as stupid as he thinks I am.

I set up a profile called thisblokeliesandcheats (it's been taken down) with all his details except photo and spelled out what he'd done (thanks whoever that was who suggested that one) and I will probably do it again

At this point he's said he's coming here Thursday night to stop for the weekend (he doesn't work Friday)

BUT he has also arranged to meet "Anna" off the dating site at a lovely new restaurant for lunch on the Friday about an hour away from here (half an hour from his house)

Obviously, I am Anna.

So, how long do I keep this going. My teeth are itching I want to tell him so much Grin

Am also a little upset, but I had nothing invested in the relationship, so my pride has taken a hit and I feel a bit of a mug but other than that am grand.

OP posts:
twooter · 26/08/2011 08:22

Can't you dump him after Anna? May be more crushing for him?

Original poster
sadlydoingshineypenguins · 26/08/2011 08:27

Well, what we thought was if I dumped him first, then he'd be all excited about seeing Anna then she dumps him, but maybe the other way round would be better? Opinions?

OP posts:
Shutupanddrive · 26/08/2011 08:35

Dump him first, the sooner the better

TaffyandTeenyTaffy · 26/08/2011 08:38

Sadly - just wanted to say I will be thinking of you today. Just off to the supermarket in my Solidarity Sister striped t-shirt.... but will be back later to see how you get on. Try and do something nice to spoil yourself a little today...

Personally, I think after - I'd be a little evasive/aloof/uncontactable before Anna dumps him (after your fab evening out, of course), not answer the door when he comes to yours (buy yourself a big vase of flowers to place in the window?!) - then dump him by text.... after his day is a little bit wasted.

Either way I think your plan is a good one. Just dont let him discover you are Anna - because then you will have the upper hand/moral high ground and he will always wonder.

TobyLeWolef · 26/08/2011 08:41

I'm thinking dump him after. Otherwise he might just be upset enough not to turn up for Anna. Then he'll know it was a lie if you text him as Anna and tell him you saw him and he's too ugly.

But make it about 5 minutes after Anna has dumped him, to compound the misery for him. And if he turns up at your house afterwards, pretend to be out.

DillyTante · 26/08/2011 08:42

Reading this thread with glee! I think dump him after Anna. If you do it before it may trigger some guilt or make him suspicious that you know.

Shutupanddrive · 26/08/2011 08:44

Oh yes good point tobylewolef hadn't thought that he might not turn up to see Anna. After then! Grin
going to wear my stripey top today too!
Wonder how many I will see today

TrillianAstra · 26/08/2011 08:47

Dump him first.

No connections between you and Anna.

Practice the phrase "No I don't want to discuss it, I don't want to see you."

.

New man is on his way to work right now singing along to some cheesy old rock on the radio. Sorry.

SuePurblybilt · 26/08/2011 09:22

I think after but leave it a good while after Anna dumps him or Trillian is right, the connection will be clearer.

Anna dumps at lunchtime

Original poster
sadlydoingshineypenguins · 26/08/2011 09:42

He's texted me twice to see if I'm up yet I haven't replied (he'll think I'm still in bed since I booked today off to spend time with him because of the bank holiday on Monday - wanker)

He's texted Anna to say he can't wait to see her at lunchtime. She has replied to say she's lukin fwd 2 c'ing him 2

OP posts:
TartyMcFarty · 26/08/2011 09:57

Another lurker. Taking it way too far, MNetters could go on a series of first dates with this loser, only for the romance never go any further. That would be super-evil! Stupid idea really of course, you need to move on!

BluddyMoFo · 26/08/2011 10:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TobyLeWolef · 26/08/2011 10:04

I still think it would be very amusing to make Anna very articulate when she tells him he's hideous. It'll mess with his head, but not enough to make him connect it with you.

Agree with the others that this evening or tomorrow would be best for dumpage, thinking about it.

RockStockAndTwoOpenBottles · 26/08/2011 10:07

I have been watching this thread and just want to wish you the best of luck today! Mumsnet is BRILLIANT for things like this.

Will be thinking of you around lunchtime. Keep it up!

soymama · 26/08/2011 10:08

Good luck SDSP, I'm sorry he is such a prick. I think your plan is brilliant though.

ExitPursuedByATroll · 26/08/2011 10:15

Just found this. Off to find a stripey top to show solidarity. Can't wait for the update.

omletta · 26/08/2011 10:16

Good luck from me too - am wearing my stripes....oddly so are a few other people in my workplace today!

SuePurblybilt · 26/08/2011 10:16

Off to get dressed

Original poster
sadlydoingshineypenguins · 26/08/2011 10:22

Grin thanks for the support ladies.

Never ever ever mess with a MNetter. The power of the hive mind of the nest of vipers will triumph Grin

OP posts:
prolificwillybreeder · 26/08/2011 10:37

sadly I and my two baby boys are all wearing stripes today! The boys are wearing stripes in recognition that I will do my up most to ensure they know how to treat and respect women before I let them leave home.

HMTheQueen · 26/08/2011 10:37

I put on stripey top this morning - by accident. Now I feel like I'm in a club Grin

Roll on 13.30!

SomethingBlue · 26/08/2011 10:37

Good luck! I have my stripes on Grin. Onward and upward!

ProcrastinatorGeneral · 26/08/2011 10:44

Luck for today, have only just read up on the fucknut. I am away to get my striped top out of the dryer. 'tis a coinkydink, but a spookily good one!

ClaimedByMe · 26/08/2011 10:48

Any chance any of your friends or local mumsnetters could be a spy to get his reactions?

MortaIWombat · 26/08/2011 10:51

Am really enjoying this thread. Grin
Definitely dump him AFTER Anna has stood him up (after texting and making him wait a bit, too).

My vision is......

"Anna" makes him wait in the restaurant ten minutes, promising she's nearly there.

Then Anna texts him saying she saw him through the window and is really sorry but he is quite a lot older and less fit than his photo - and she is actually a bit cross to have had her time wasted by a bloke punching above his weight (god I love that phrase).

sadly does not contact cuntmonkey loser bloke, and instead waits until he texts suggesting he comes round/meets up/whatever - because, of course, he sees her as his fall-back reliable shag. twatbadger that he is

sadly texts back, gracefully and regretfully informing him that it isn't really working out for her, as she feels he hasn't a great deal of depth to his character, and the sex is rather mundane.

Bastard is left crushed. And very very confused.

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