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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Original poster

Am so sad and miserable...

383 replies

beakas · 09/05/2008 12:27

Came out of hospital just over a week ago now after going for a scan at 16 weeks and finding no heart beat. First baby for us, we tried for so long and I just feel like my heart is going to break. Have had days where I think I'm fine but there seem to be pregnant ladies EVERYWHERE! and that just sets me off again...maybe I came back to work too soon, I don't know. Have also been told am being made redundant at end of June. Everyhing is going wrong. Have a fabulous husband who is being great, and lots of support from family but I still feel so alone.I just can't believe it happened so late..thought once I had got the first 12 weeks over with it would all be ok...

OP posts:
nandos · 06/06/2008 12:51

hi emmapp,
is there any EPU in your neighbourhood / nearest hospital?
you can just walk in there to check if you are worried abt retained products. they will just take your details n have to wait abt 10-30 mins for the scan.

fruitbowl · 06/06/2008 14:06

Hi folks

I've seen a few of you on other threads and just wanted to pop in here. I had MMC diagnosed at 12 week scan on monday and had a D&C yesterday morning.

Still feeling like a zombie from the drugs and don't think it's all sunk in yet although have had so much nice support from friends, family and you lovely MNers. It really does help to share stories doesn't it?

I had lost some much needed weight but am worried now that I no longer have my MS / chocolate aversion that it's all gonna go back on before our holiday next week. Damn.

x

BeckyBendyLegs · 06/06/2008 15:01

Oh I am so back on the chocolate (I didn't want to eat any at all when I was pregnant - yucky stuff!). I've just had two pieces of dairy milk and one piece of Terry's chocoate orange.

msdynamo · 06/06/2008 18:45

I am back on the coffee- was in Starbucks today just before going to see 'Sex and the City' yay! I highly recommend it as recovery therapy

BeckyBendyLegs · 06/06/2008 19:41

Oooooh I'm jealous . I want to see that film really badly!

mummy2olivia · 06/06/2008 19:43

I think a scan to check for retained products is very important. My hospital scan you as a matter of course. Even after my retained products were removed I was scanned again on Weds where I found out I am clear. I was even given a 2 week course of strong antibiotics as a precaution after the retained products were found- they had only been there a matter of 4 days but to avoid infection, it is so worth being cautious.

EmmaPP- if you are concerned at all, trust your gut instinct and push for a scan. I was lucky, the first thing I noticed about having retained products was a funny dishcloth smell from below no temp, pain or any other sign. They were removed and when I looked up my results on the hospital computer it said that what was removed was quite inflamed. It could have been quite nasty.

msdynamo · 06/06/2008 19:43

Becky I had to go on my own because also feeling like Nobby No Mates, my friends were all busy and I couldn't wait another day! Still enjoyed it, a couple of hours of lovely escapism.

msdynamo · 06/06/2008 19:49

Hi EmmaPP hope you get a scan to confirm everything's OK. Thanks for your earlier messages. I am on 3 MC threads so get easily confused! I blame the left over hormones.

Is anyone having trouble with their OH's? mine has been great but he's so bloody jolly all the time it's making me angry. Last night we talked and he admitted he's over the MC and has moved on. I feel like I'm alone in my grieving. It's only been a week.

BeckyBendyLegs · 08/06/2008 12:37

Sorry everyone but I need to vent! Grrrrrrr Ahhhhhh! DH has caught my 'cold' which has suddenly as it was transmitted from me to him turned into 'flu'. He's lying in bed in his dressing gown all smelly and unshaven feeling sorry for himself. I do sympathise as I've got it too (I'm in the totally snotty sneezy stage) but how come he gets to lie in bed whereas I don't? Grrrrr. Man flu! He claims that he always suffers more than me with the same illnesses! I suppose I ought to be nice to him and make him a cup of tea now . I feel better now. I just needed to vent.

charliesmum22 · 08/06/2008 12:42

Hi Becky, have to be quick as got to get lunch, but take a look at this to cheer you up! Hope it helps... Will be back later - good luck with the 'invalid'!

BeckyBendyLegs · 08/06/2008 16:24

Ha ha ha! That's great! I forwarded it to DH as well (I hope he sees the funny side).

charliesmum22 · 09/06/2008 20:15

Hi all, how are you? Seems to have been very quiet on this thread recently [listens for echo....]

Hello to fruitbowl and msdynamo, sorry to see you on this thread, but also happy you have joined us IYKWIM

Becky, did dh get the hint? How are you feeling?

All is fine here, off to see SATC tomorrow night so v excited about that.

Having a real problem trying to figure out how long to wait before ttc again - if anyone's thinking about this then what are your thoughts?

m2o, any news on our new thread???

lots of love x

mummy2olivia · 09/06/2008 20:22

Hi everyone

Have been very very slack and not posted much.......

Well, thought it was all over and started bleeding again yesterday Its dark red fresh blood and have belly ache so am thinking AF but am still getting positive tests. Dont know what is going on with my body AT ALL and am very fucking pissed off (scuse my language).

Am gonna give it til tomorrow and have a think and if I am still unhappy then I will pop up to EPU and cry til they see me

Can you still get AF even with faint positives?

Am gonna ask on the MC threads in pg/conception too.

Am also gonna go and start OUR thread- look out for it everyone. I know we havent felt like it on this thread but for those of us wanting to TTC I want to hear about lots of shaggin and lovin!!!!

xxxxxxxx

mummy2olivia · 09/06/2008 20:33

Have made new thread on conception- lets support eachother again- you know who you are. For those of you ready to TTC. x

BeckyBendyLegs · 09/06/2008 20:39

I'll be ready to TTC as soon as my AF comes (I only found out the other day that AF is Aunt Flo - from Bod perhaps? - not Aunt Fanny which I thought it stood for!). I'll defo join the TTC thread when we start the red hot lovin' for a baby! At the moment it's red hot lovin' hang on where are the condoms?

DH is much better today (and even managed to go to work). I've still got no voice though croak, croak.

Sleepless in Seatle is on ITV2 or ITV3 at 9pm so I'm going to have a bit of escapism and watch that tonight.

m2o poor you. You really have had a rough time. I hope the EPU can offer some help and support.

mummy2olivia · 09/06/2008 20:45

Oh thanks becky. Feel really miserable not knowing what my body is doing!!

charliesmum22 · 09/06/2008 20:59

m2o, poor you. Maybe it is AF (lol Becky ). I checked a couple of weeks ago and still had a faint positive, and AF started last week. Haven't checked again since though. I would've thought it is possible to have a period whilst still having HCG in your system. Your body isn't producing it any more (if everything has gone) so it's just retained from when you were pg. I suppose it's different for everybody as to how long it takes to come out of their system. Think it is a good idea to get it checked out if you're worried though. Let us know what happens. Btw, have been brave and have posted on the new thread! Thanks for starting it...

Becky, glad dh is better, but poor you - hope he's looking after you! Enjoy Sleepless in Seattle! I'm off to bed, acupuncturist gave me a curfew of 10.30 each night so only have half an hour (with the hours difference) before I must be tucked up! Hee hee!

nandos - how are you doing?

msdynamo · 09/06/2008 22:41

Hello girls. Hi charliesmum, I'd be interested to know about the acupuncture you're receiving, I've been considering it myself to enhance things. As for ttc it's too early for me. I think I have to wait another 7 weeks, which is a shame because I do feel like it, oddly enough(!) given what else is going on. (still bleeding a bit, but very minor).

Anyone else feeling sexy or am I weird. OK, don't answer that!

Enjoy the film charliesmum, I thought it was great. I notice all the male critics hate it, but just ignore them!

As I read in one of the papers yesterday, going to the cinema to see SATC for women is the equivalent of going to the world cup for men

PS I thought the manflu thing was very funny, so sad but true!

nandos · 09/06/2008 22:58

hi everyone,
just came here after a long break during the weekend.. too lazy to type anything or do anything till now
m2olivia, hope you are alright..i think its too early for AF to come so might be the bleeding..
oh btw thank you for making the new thread m2olivia. havent been to see it yet but will do soon
becky, must be hard not able to speak properly but at least you can type over here
anyone else has started ttc again?
msdynamo, u r total opposite of me right now. i am hardly ttc this month and dont think will be preggy so soon just dont feel up to it and tmi- havent done the deed for a wk ..
charliesmum, am ok thanks for asking .. but dont know why i feel like this. not depressed or anything just not in the mood for anything.
how r u doing?

BeckyBendyLegs · 10/06/2008 08:27

I'm feeling sexy again, I had zero sex drive when I was pregnant, almost in negative proportions (poor DH didn't even get much beyond the odd snog if he was lucky) and now it's come back with a vengence.

I had a horrible dream last night (I blame Sleepless in Seattle). I dreamt that DH popped his cloggs and I lost my mobile so I couldn't even phone his parents to tell them or my mum and then it started to snow and the house flooded and I was just crying all the time. I woke up feeling really sad. It's funny how the emotions you feel in dreams can sometimes spill over into real life. Luckily DH is ok in real life and he's gone to work (and left his usual trail of bowl, mug and spoon for the 'tidy fairies' to put in the dish washer).

msdynamo · 10/06/2008 11:01

That's definitely an anxiety dream! I feel a bit insecure at the mo, I think the MC is so disconcerting, we maybe feel uneasy for a while.

I want to ask you all about weight. I know lucky becky is always slim, so you can't answer this one! When do the pg pounds drop off? I gained 4lbs and it's still there, as is my bloated tummy.

I'm going to California in 3 weeks and I want to look slim again, is it possible? I'm not eating much at the mo.

poppy27 · 10/06/2008 14:27

Hi everyone
becky lol at the tidy fairy - we have one of those in our house too. Same one that magics dirty clothes clean, matches socks and finds missing things!!!

m2o so you are still sore and bleeding. You have had such a bad time recently that it maybe would be worth going to epu just to be checked over.
Well done for starting ttc thread. I have to admit that I have felt far from like even contemplating it and am defo waiting for AF to come first.
Just don't know how I would cope if it all went wrong again (and I know that's not a good frame of mind to have)but because ds is nearly 6 and I am 35 I don't want to leave it too late. Life is soooo complicated.

Hope everyone else is doing a bit better this week.

HtheH · 10/06/2008 18:09

Just a quick message everyone. My bleeding has now stopped after ERPC, but still showing a positive pregnancy test. Is it possible to TTC even when still 'pregnant'? Will I be ovulating soon? A bit confused. Any advice?

mummy2olivia · 10/06/2008 21:18

Hey everyone- hope you are all good. Nandos- sorry to hear you are a bit down. Sometimes this whole thing can just zap your energy for life my prescription is a treat for yourself

Have spoke to EPU today and they were very reassuring. Its almost definitely AF although miscarriage nurse said some women get 'breakthrough' bleeding after a MC- which basically means everything has gone (have had a clear scan) but the hormone levels are making me bleed. She says it may happen on and off for a couple of weeks til my hormones balance enough to stop me bleeding. This makes sense actually cos I am prone to breakthrough bleeding when I'm on the pill and the blood is not old like when you get AF, its bright red and fresh and quite light. Hormones!! do feel a bit better now. She told me signs to look out for that would indicate a prob but she said as long as its light, red, doesnt smell and I feel well then its nothing to be concerned about. Its just my body sorting itself out. fingers crossed.

Also, had reflexology tonight and that has made me feel calmer. would recommend it.

EmmaPP · 10/06/2008 22:32

will write properly tomorrow as off to bed, but just quickly, i've had spotting for last 3-4days...deffo not AF, but one or two spots a day. Is that my period?! spotting started 2 weeks since i stopped bleeding after mc...did anyone else get this? want to ttc, but need to wait for first period before i do (dr at hospital said so). bye fore now