Am so sad and miserable...

[beakas]

Came out of hospital just over a week ago now after going for a scan at 16 weeks and finding no heart beat. First baby for us, we tried for so long and I just feel like my heart is going to break. Have had days where I think I'm fine but there seem to be pregnant ladies EVERYWHERE! and that just sets me off again...maybe I came back to work too soon, I don't know. Have also been told am being made redundant at end of June. Everyhing is going wrong. Have a fabulous husband who is being great, and lots of support from family but I still feel so alone.I just can't believe it happened so late..thought once I had got the first 12 weeks over with it would all be ok...

Well done ses on getting through your first day back. You must be relieved that hurdle is over now.

I had a crap letter from the hospital on sat which I took to my gp to discuss today. When I had my blood tested in April my lupus anticoagulant results were slightly elevated but as by the time these results were available I was pg again I was just told by my gp to wait and see what happened before they would do anything. I went on to mc. Was told by gynae dr at epu at that time that they would have me investigated further. The letter now says I have to have a blood screening done now as I have raised anticardiolipin antibodies. Apparantly they want me to wait another 4-5 weeks to have this screening. Just started my 1st AF since mc on Sat and was hoping to start ttc again but have now been told to wait. Feeling a bit emotional about all this which is prob in part AF hormones but also just a feeling of AGHHHHHH.

Anyway thanks for listening just needed to rant a bit. It seems very ironic to consider using contraception as we have spent the last 4 years ttc with no luck then 2 consecutive mc's. Anyway must go to bed now. Goodnight.

Hello ladies - just checking back in after my holiday.

ses poor you going back to work and being faced with the baby news & balloons - you are entitled to feel miserable I say. Sending you n the other ladies support. Hope you're all coping slowly but surely out there.

I feel terrible for having a fortnight away somewhere lovely and still feeling miserable. People are asking if I had a nice time and I really want to say - NO!!!! But think they don't really want to hear me drivelling on (like you all will obviously!!).

Me n DP and DD have all been so grumpy with eachother it's been mostly awful with a few light hearted ice cream and fun moments thrown in. Friends n family said a holiday would be just the thing but I don't know now we're back feeling exhausted with all the washing to do. Sounds so ungrateful I know. I hoped you ladies would understand.

The alternative therapies idea sounded great so I've taken your advice and booked a reflexology for Fri. Thanks so much girls xx

Sorry Poppy - just crossed posts. Sorry to hear about your MC and your results and being told to wait. No wonder you feel emotional. You can let it hang out on here. We understand!

Hi poppy and fruitbowl poppy - how VERY frustrating for you I know what you mean about the irony and as easy as I can wish the next few weeks go quickly for you, I know they may drag at times. Just remember we are all here for you to offload on at those times.

fruitbowl - don't worry, a fortnight away (where was it?) doesn't just eliminate all the worries and hurt. I think I'm learning that only time (and cuddles with DH!) can do that. Having said that, it does make it all v difficult to communicate with DH to for fear of upsetting him. Enjoy the reflexology though

Hi everyone. Just about to go on holiday, 3 weeks in California. Wanted to let you know that my AF is back, after just 4 weeks after the D&C. I had two sessions of acupuncture to help regulate my body, I'm sure its helped. It also made me feel calm for a while. Worth a try for those of you still waiting.

Sorry to hear you had a bad holiday Fruitbowl. I actually would rather stay at home. There's been a strain between me and my partner ever since the MC. I hope the holiday doesn't make it worse...

Hi MsD lovely to see you again. Hooray for the return of AF. I'm still bleeding 3 wks after my D&C so not sure if AF or not?

Sorry to hear about the strain with your DP, I hope you manage to find some time to nurture yourself and eachother on hols but I know how difficult it all is. Will keep my fingers crossed for you that the lovely californian sunshine will help to heal.

Let us know how it goes x

Will do fruitbowl, thank you.

In the meantime hope your body gets back to normal and your AF returns. I think there should be a break of a few weeks between D&C bleeding and then AF. Might be worth checking with your consultant if bleeding doesn't stop soon. After D&C I was told it should be about 10 days to 2 weeks for bleeding to stop.

All the best x

Hi msdynamo glad to hear that accupuncture helped your body get back in sync a little. Hope your holiday goes well and the sunshine gives you a boost. Hopefully getting away from things will help you and your dp relax a little and enjoy each other's company. Take care of yourself.

We are getting ready to go away on sat to scarborough for a week. Quite looking forward to it as I have been having a really bad week. Keep crying all the time - must be the hormones as I have AF just now.