Journey after miscarriage support thread March 2023

[SMG1992]

Hi All,

I've started a new thread as the other was at page 39.
I hope everyone had a good weekend. I'm still just about in my fertile window - I got my LH surge yesterday.

The clocks going forward has hot me a little bit, but I'm looking forward to brighter evenings.

@Oxalis00 i had both a breathing tube and a catheter. Breathing tube was out before I woke so I never even knew it was in to be honest.
catheter really freaked me out when I woke up, I’d no idea what it was and was terrified at how they’d take it out but I didn’t feel a thing taking it out, it was in for a full day after my surgery. I’d lost a lot of blood though so that’s why it was in so long, I think generally they take it out a few hrs after ❤️

Hi @SnookyPook thanks for the check in. 11 DPO here but 99 percent sure AF is starting. On the plus side managed to get a Dr appt for a few weeks time to start tests etc (again) hopefully. Going to see what the NHS can / can't do and seriously considering trying to find the £££ for private.

Fingers crossed for you this month ! Xx

Hi @Oxalis00 i opted to do it without GA... in hindsight may not have been best move as it was a shock to my body & paracetamol didnt touch the sides!.😱 but i was in & out in 10 minutes & relied on some codeine once home. They will support you, the nurses / midwives were so lovely, the unknown is scary but unfortunately a common procedure i have since found out, you will be ok. Xx

Thanks @DmcinT it’s good to know the reality of it. I find these details helpful. Like you found, if you aren’t told what’s going to happen (like the catheter) it can be an unnecessary shock.

@Ttc2023x I would have gone for local anaesthetic but I’m not allowed! Possible molar means higher risk of excessive bleeding and I’m already anaemic. There’s just no good option in a shit situation, is there?! Glad you made it through ok.

I’ll update tomorrow…

@Oxalis00 all the best, I’ll be thinking on u and this thread and one or 2 others are great for support any time u want to talk to ppl going through the same or just want to vent❤️ Sending love x

So the doctor rang me, the one who did the MVA and she said the testing has come back from the miscarriage, she said the baby was a partial molar, never heard of it before and I have now googled it and I'm not a little scared. She is referring me to a clinic and said do not try for another until the clinic discharge you, anyone had any experiences with this?

Hi @Lorddenning1 I’m sorry you’ve had that news, I know it’s a really scary thing to face. I’m waiting on the results from a suspected molar so have looked into what it is, and the monitoring/treatment process. Reading back up the thread you’ve had a period already so it looks good for you I’d have thought, you must already have low levels of HCG suggesting the mole has gone. The clinic will monitor HCG levels and discharge you when they’re normal, and then you’ll be cleared to TTC. Try not to Google, there’s some scary stuff out there! A partial is better than a complete molar and much less likely to need treatment or to develop into anything more serious, and even if it does develop it’s very treatable. It’s good they’ve identified it, and from what I’ve read the clinics seem very thorough.

@Lorddenning1 sorry for your news. Sounds like @Oxalis00 has far more useful insight than me so will just stick to sending a virtual hug. Hope all goes ok and gets sorted quickly for you. X

@Lorddenning1 sorry to hear your news, the waiting to see is tough, hope ur doing ok❤️

@Oxalis00 hope u are doing ok, was thinking on u over the last few days xx

Thanks @DmcinT I appreciate that 💛 Evidently I forgot to update! D&C was ok in the end, after a long wait on the day, but I’m still bleeding at nearly a week later (not a lot, a pad a day and more on wiping, but still very much fresh and red, is that normal? Worried it’s a sign it is molar after all…) and getting positive on preg tests (worried this also means molar. How long did yours take to go negative?) and completely exhausted (which is poss the anaemia, plus trauma, plus toddler!). So a bit glum at the moment, and anxious about what the histology report will bring. Also I think SIL is pregnant, which makes me feel a whole lot worse!

How are you?

@Oxalis00 im so glad to hear all went well, I had very little bleeding after, maybe 4/5 days but more spotting than on a pad. My hcg has just come down to 5 there on Monday this week (9 weeks later) I’ve been in the hospital every 48 hrs for over 2 months, it’s been a long process but I was carrying 3 babies so levels were very high)

Did they mention any concerns of a molar to you? The day after my D&C they confirmed it wasn’t molar so I’d deff check that with them.

finding out someone close to you is tough, I’ve had 3 close friends announce pregnancies since my loss, I know it sounds a bit selfish but I feel myself avoiding them completely as I find it very upsetting at the min. I’m 8 dpo at the min and I’m just crossing everything that this is our month❤️

Thanks @DmcinT - gosh what a long time it’s taken for your levels to come down. And I didn’t know you had three babies 😢 I had no idea before my own experience how drawn out a miscarriage can be. Sounds like the hospital has been taking good care of you, but what a drag to be in there so often. They must have had quite a lot of blood off you, too! Crossing everything for you this cycle - I can feel the hope and anticipation! They did see something on my last scan that raised suspicions of a molar which is why I had to have the D&C rather than trying another route. The surgeon wasn’t able to comment on what they saw, and it was only a smallish bit of retained products (after previous medical management) so might not have been as obvious as if it was all the stuff that would have come out with a full D&C first time around. Who knows.

Totally with you on just avoiding people while it’s too hard to be around pregnancy/babies. It’s not selfish - or, rather, caring for yourself isn’t bad. It’s our first responsibility as human beings, and necessary, so well done you.

Thank you everyone, I think me having a period after 4 weeks and 3 days after my MVA is a positive thing and I did a test around 2 weeks ago and that was negative, so it's all pointing in a good direction I hope.
Just hoping the clinic is just a process and I will be signed off from them soon. I planned TTC on our honeymoon at the end of July so still a bit of time yet, just could of done without the extra worrying, the missed miscarriage was bad enough without this after.
Some small comfort to me is that it was nothing I had done, not my eggs or body etc, just OH eager sperm, I have PCOS and I was worried that it may be to blame as you are a higher risk of miscarry with it etc.
Thanks ladies, I will update you with the outcome, just in case I can give advice for anyone in the future, which I hope I don't have to.

@Oxalis00 yeah we found out it was triplets at 8 weeks, it was such a shock that day but we just got so excited abt it all within a few days, by 11 weeks we unfortunately had no heart beats💔 they were identical triplets so one egg and one sperm split in 3 all attached to one placenta, it’s was always going to be a very high risk pregnancy.

I’ve everything crossed for u now on the results coming back and please god your recovery is smooth❤️

@Lorddenning1 it seems everything is moving in the right direction and you have a great positive outlook🙏🏽

I have found I am completely zonked the last few days, needing naps in the middle of the day kinda tired, anyone else like this 5-8 dpo? It could just be usual luteral phase progesterone but god I could sleep standing

Hi everyone, hope you are all doing ok. Just reading through everyone’s updates 💜

Wanted to ask of anyone using ovulation strip tests, do you see any changes in your ovulation tracking post mc?
Maybe I’m not remembering correctly but I’m sure when I’ve used them before, I could see the test line gradually progress towards being positive. Last month, I had pretty faint lines and then one day it was a definitive positive. This month, yesterday I had an almost positive so I assumed today would be darker but it was lighter again. Either I’ve missed the positive (I only test in the morning) or it’s just a bit all over the place!

@xxcxdonxx I've noticed a difference with OPKs - before my mc I had rapid peaks and otherwise very low lh levels. Since the mc my levels in general have been higher and a bit more inconsistent. I did catch a clear peak last week but the whole month of May my lh was up and down but never actually positive. No idea how connected it is to the mc, I assume it must be.

Thanks @Hankthehonk , good to know that’s it’s not just me. It’s frustrating not knowing what it happening but I guess I just have to trust the process x

Morning everyone, how are you all doing?

Is anyone in the Tww with me? Trying not to think about it too much or spot (imagine) symptoms after being disappointed last month.

Im feeling a bit sad after my period arrived this week. Wishing you luck for your 2ww! Longest 2 weeks isnt it!

@xxcxdonxx me! On 11 DPo today…trying to get my hopes up…
got a negative at 10 dpo.
this is my first proper cycle after the MmC in april. This wait is killing me!
good luck to you!

*not to get my hopes up

@Ttc2023x sorry to hear that, I totally understand your disappointment. Feels cruel to have to wait all that time only to then get your period. Sending lots of positive thoughts for you next month 💜

@Iammagic the wait is torture isn’t it, fingers crossed for you!!

@Ttc2023x I've also had AF this week and it was a bit of a tough week as also met my best friends newborn and my SiL has just heard she's having a C-section tomorrow after her waters went at 34+1!! So it's been baby intensive and also re-emphasised my loss. Still, I'm plodding on and gearing up for fertile week coming up... 🤞🏻

Good luck @xxcxdonxx and @Iammagic ! Everything crossed for you both 😊

Fingers crossed for us all. Yeah 1 friend had a baby & another announced they are pregnant had a similar week as you.

Somebody this week showed me their scan video, saw the baby and it's heartbeat and I held back the tears until they left, what I wouldn't give for us to see that at our scan 😥