Journey after miscarriage support thread March 2023

[SMG1992]

Hi All,

I've started a new thread as the other was at page 39.
I hope everyone had a good weekend. I'm still just about in my fertile window - I got my LH surge yesterday.

The clocks going forward has hot me a little bit, but I'm looking forward to brighter evenings.

@Oxalis00 Thanks for your reply. I'm trying to stay positive but it's difficult right now.
I'm also 37, strange.

So sorry @Wanderlust86 it sounds very similar to what happened to me last year. Im also 37! Haha i was aware miscarriage was common to a point but had no idea how common. Its so so hard but it is about being kind to yourself & open. We will get our rainbow babies xxx

@Wanderlust86 so sorry for your loss my lovely. I think it's safe to say that none of us would want to have to welcome people to this thread but, for those who do find themselves here, hopefully it is a comforting place.

My loss was also a MMC and like you, I started miscarrying naturally on the day of my scan. I definitely think it was like once I'd seen it and my body knew for sure that the baby had stopped developing, it was able to let go. I was like you in that, once I knew there was no hope, I just wanted all the physical side of things done so that I could start moving on from the loss. But it did feel very bitter-sweet getting that negative pregnancy test. How are you doing now? I hope all is going ok.

I found this group invaluable in those first days and still now, in dealing with all the ongoing thoughts and worries. X

@SnookyPook @Ttc2023x Thanks, it's good to talk to people who have been through the same thing 😔
My partner is great and being really helpful but I can tell he doesn't know what to do or say right now. I think he's upset seeing me so upset.
Things seem to have ramped up a bit. Cramps are getting worse but manageable with paracetamol and hot water bottle.
I've deleted the pregnancy apps I had except flo so I can start to track again soon. I hid the January Babies thread I was on too.

Ah bless you, I found it quite hard deleting the due date group and the pregnancy apps - it felt so final but I really couldn't handle seeing them there.

My partner was just the same. I think for them it's all a bit more surreal as often the pregnancy itself hasn't even really sunk in during the first trimester.

Ah hope you're doing ok. My cramps never got too bad - I used paracetamol and hot water bottle throughout and it was bearable. Hopefully you will be similar. The 48hrs after my loss were the most intense. On the third day I had a scan at my pre-op and they said I'd passed the pregnancy - no surgery needed. After that I just had mild period-type bleeding for a few days and then that was it. Sending big hugs. Xx

Welcome @Wanderlust86 and sorry to hear of your recent loss. I can really relate to you saying you knew miscarriage was possible but didn’t really think about it too much. I’ve not known anyone in my close family or friends to go through it so I was very naive to the whole thing and the emotions that come along with it. I hope that you are managing ok today and that your cramps aren’t too bad.
take care xx

@SnookyPook @xxcxdonxx Thanks, it's been a rough day but I think it's mostly all over now. The cramps suddenly became fairly intense for a few hours and it would appear everything has passed.
Should I still go to the epu appointment? Will they still want to see me if it's happened naturally?

Sorry to hear you have had a rough day @Wanderlust86
I’d imagine that epu would still want to see you and do a scan to check that everything has passed.
Hope you manage to get a bit of a rest tonight 💜

@Wanderlust86 sorry you've had a rough day but well done. This sounds very similar to my experience. Just in case its the same for you. I thought I'd passed everything on the Saturday and went to bed, slept fine. Woke without much on the pad. Then mid morning, had a gush and it started up again for a few hours. However, after that the main loss had all finished.

I would say yes, keep your appointment. I had a pre-op booked on the Monday to prep for the surgery and they told me that if I started to lose more blood over the weekend to go in anyway, update them, and request a scan. That was what happened and was where they were able to tell me that I had passed the pregnancy at home. It was weirdly a reassuring experience - especially as the sonographer also had a good look at my ovaries and said they both looked healthy and she could see lots of healthy looking follicles which was a little boost in the midst of a difficult time.

Hi everyone so sorry I’ve not checked in - How is everyone doing/feeling? Where are you all up to in your cycles?
I am currently 5 weeks pregnant today but having cramps and brown bleeding 💔 This is how my miscarriage started in March so we are not feeling very positive.
had my bloods done yesterday my hcg was 5000 progesterone 129 so my levels were amazing only for my pains and bleeding to start in the night 💔 Feel so deflated like I cannot believe it can be happening to us again x

@Rainbowdust1993 ah so sorry you're feeling anxious - really hoping it will be a different outcome for you this time. Remember that plenty of women do have spotting and bleeding and things turn out ok. I've got everything crossed for you.

I'm currently waiting for ovulation... Hoping it should be in the next week. Weird mix of feeling optimistic and hopeful and not wanting to build myself up for a fall. X

@SnookyPook its so hard isn’t it? Even when you get that positive you don’t feel the excitement you should!
Crossing everything that this is the cycle you get your rainbow 🌈
have you been doing anything differently this cycle? X

Thinking of you @Rainbowdust1993 the results from your blood work sound very positive but i can appreciate you feeling anxious. It must be difficult to feel anything other than that after experiencing loss xx

@Rainbowdust1993 So sorry 😔 I remember getting the same thing with my last MMC and that feeling when you see it and your stomach just drops is awful. I really hope that in your case it's just normal spotting.

@Rainbowdust1993 I'm crossing everything for you, I really hope things have calmed down and not progressed any further .

I hope everyone’s doing OK!

@SnookyPook you were right, it all started again yesterday. Started getting cramps late morning then a break for a few hours before the worst of it in the evening. I hope that's the worst of it over as it was quite painful yesterday.
Has anyone been told they have fobroids? I was told I had a mass on the right side which she thinks is a fibroid. I hope that isn't what caused this. I will ask at my appointment on Wednesday.

@Rainbowdust1993 sorry that must be such a worry. I hope you have a positive outcome.

Sorry one more question. Is it normal to ovulate before getting a next period? Or is it best to wait until your period and ovulation to start trying again?

I’ve just been catching up on the thread. @Wanderlust86 I’m so sorry for your loss, but know that this thread is super supportive. To answer your question above, after my first miscarriage we tried straight away and I did ovulate and got pregnant again. This time round I’ve waited for my period first (maybe some more depending how I feel) mainly so I can emotionally recover better - so what I would say is, it’s entirely up to you what you’d like to do, no right or wrong answer 😘

@Wanderlust86 no fibroids here but I hope they can explain more and provide reassurance on Weds. Hopefully all ok. At least you know about them now I guess.

To answer your other question, completely agree with @JJ2023 - it's what feels right to you. I think the clinicians recommend a period first purely for ease of dating etc. And I guess in your case it would be sensible to know a bit more about the fibroids before you try again? I was amazed at how quickly I felt ready to try again. Ive just finished my first period since the loss but it seemed like a normal period so I must have ovulated 2 weeks before that and if I'd happened to fall pregnant with no period in between I would have been fine with that! Currently hoping to ovulate again in the next few days so will be DTD when we can (although stepdaughter currently here on half term to complicate things!)

@Rainbowdust1993 hope you're doing ok today? Not done anything different as it's only first full cycle since the loss so just seeing how things go... 🤞🏻🌈

Thanks for your replies. Sorry for your losses @JJ2023. I can't imagine going through this again 😥
I think I'm just desperate to be pregnant again but maybe need need some time.
I didn't ask any questions at the private scan in regards to the fibroid as I couldn't think straight. I will hopefully get some information on Wednesday. I've read that they can contribute to early loss.
Good luck for ttc this cycle! @SnookyPook

@Wanderlust86 So sorry you're going through this. To add another answer to your question, I ovulated before getting another period and we did try that cycle but didn't conceive. I ovulated 4 weeks after the loss and had period 2 weeks after that.
I'm currently in the next cycle again but it's been much messier, not clear when I ovulated, lh and bbt all over the place and af late. I don't know if it's because of the mc or not.
Basically yes you might ovulate before period so I'd recommend tracking Lh and bbt - but also listen to your own body and emotions as to whether you're ready. Personally I'm just desperate to be pregnant again and seems a lot of people feel the same but not everyone x

@Wanderlust86 I’m so sorry for your loss, it’s just so devastating, I hope ur taking care and being kind to yourself. I was all over the place for a few weeks after, small things would hit me like a train and I thought the pain would never go away. I’m only 8 weeks out now but it deff gets easier to manage with each day and week that passes❤️

I ovulated just over 3 weeks after and got a period just over 5 (almost 6 weeks)

) @Oxalis00 @Wanderlust86 @Ttc2023x I also turn 38 this year, seems to be a good few of us around the same age on here. I can’t lie I fear my age is a factor even though I know plenty of ppl older than us have perfectly healthy pregnancies and babies. Hard to not over think at times. Hope everyone is doing ok❤️ I’m due to ovulate today/ tomorr so on the opks and cb digital constantly for updates 😅🙈

@Rainbowdust1993 how are you?

@Wanderlust86 I was tracking ovulation on the digital sticks but I never got a smiley face, I gave up and my period eventually arrived. Not sure if I did ovulate but the next cycle I did get a positive ovulation test but still in TWW. I think I’ll sack the ovulation tests off, I get too obsessive 🙈

Check-in post... How is everyone doing?

@SMG1992 @Baby0523 @Chocolatebean @Daniki @DmcinT @Elena132 @Fairylight102 @Hankthehonk @HistoryFanatic @Iammagic @JJ2023 @Lorddenning1 @ML19 @MummaDaisy @NeverMindTheBuzzkills @Nmvasey85 @Oxalis00 @Rabbitjungle1 @Rainbowdust1993 @RegardingPersephone @Saturnsmoon @TheBirdintheCave @Ttc2023x @Ttcafterlosses @Vic225 @VillageFete @Wanderlust86 @YearoftheRabbit23 @fleur89 @hennie222 @kookyelephant @mollibu @s14a @susievalentino @xxcxdonxx

Apologies if I missed anyone off - tried to go down the list of everyone who's commented at some point! Hope you're all doing well. X