Journey after miscarriage support thread Jan 2023

[Fairylight102]

I wondered if anyone out there would be interested in joining a thread for those who have recently experienced a miscarriage - a place to share how we’re feeling emotionally, physical recovery, becoming ready to try again (for those that want to), and hopefully one day positive stories of successful preganancies.

I’m 32 and recently had a miscarriage at 5-6 weeks of my first pregnancy. I was relieved to have conceived after quite a short time, because I have PCOS and was worried I might struggle to get pregnant.

My miscarriage was about 2 and half weeks ago now, and today is the first day I’ve not had any spotting/bleeding at all, and that has been a relief to feel like my body is moving on from it. I know it’s advisable to do a pregnancy test a few weeks after miscarriage, which is something I’m a bit anxious about doing as I’m fairly sure it will be an emotional thing to do.

Since it happened my sleep pattern and energy levels have been a bit all over the place. Some days I’ve just wanted to sleep all the time, which I think could be a mix of actual physical tiredness and also emotional tiredness/hormonal changes. I was back at work for the first time today, and it was helpful to have something else to focus on and motivate myself for.

I’ve restarted tracking my BBT to see what happens with my cycle returning, though I’m aware it could take a while to get back to normal. My husband and I are both on the same page that we’d like to try again once I’ve had one normal period, so I guess we’ll just see how things go and how we feel when we reach this point.

Sorry this has turned into a longer post than I expected! Anyway, if there’s anyone out there who’s had a similar experience recently and would like a place to share feelings/questions/advice it would be lovely to hear from others.

My period returned today nearly 5 weeks after my miscarriage. Half of me was a bit disappointed as I was hoping by miracle that maybe I conceived again since my MC. Silly silly me 😂

Cycle day 1 it is... hoping this year is our year 🤞🏻

@mollibu i was exactly the same hoping for that not even having a period before getting pregnant again miracle and it just didn’t happen 😢. the way I’m getting through it is this means approx 14 days until my first proper ovulation it does feel like forever but it’s also not that long also going to try the sperm meets the egg method which means u start trying from day 8 so that’s not that far away at all, I just have to give myself every bit of positive stuff I can or I’ll just go under, I was going to go to the drs for antidepressants but I’m trying to hold off I just need little goals of hope to cling to if that makes sense xxx.

Not a silly thing to hope for at all. I think we all hope we'll be the lucky one and get pregnant again before a period. Sorry AF got you and @Chocolatebean :(

@TheBirdintheCave aw thanks was sad for a little bit but I’d taken a lot of painkillers and some antibiotics and my period isn’t really normal so it’s probably for the best in my case. Just going to choke down the smoothies and some vitamins for next month 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

@Chocolatebean Yeah I've been thinking about switching mine up too, especially if we're headed for IVF :/ I might have a look at what else they have in Boots this weekend.

@TheBirdintheCave have a look at the book it starts with the egg on Amazon that covers vitamins and supplements esp for those starting ivf. It’s an interesting read xxx

Just got my flashing smiley oh LH test today, surgery was two weeks ago this coming Thursday and they said not to have sex for two weeks! Agh, might just go for it.

@Enigma85 think i probably would lol x actually that’s a lie I did lol xxx

@Chocolatebean I've heard of that book but I already know I can't afford the amount of supplements it suggests. I'll likely just put myself on high strength vitamin D and maybe Procieve like my husband.

@Enigma85 One day won't make a difference, I don't think. Go for it :)

@Enigma85 I definitely did before 2 weeks after my first mc. I haven't this time but I'm going to try to go with the flow this month and not do any ovulation tests!

@Chocolatebean I’ll keep doing the LH tests, I might get some idea of what’s going on. I think you’re right, it might be possible to ovulate with low levels of hcg. Here’s to a miracle 🙏🏼

@mollibu thats great your cycle returned! I understand it’s feels like forever until ovulation though, I’m literally counting the hours 😫 it’s so stressful!

@Enigma85 I would!
The 2 week mark for me is on Saturday but we started yesterday 😅

@Enigma85 we did it 10 days after the procedure, I'd only been spotting and not for 5 days by then. Good luck!!

Same, we started 10 days after the miscarriage but the bleeding had already stopped for a few days by then. My tests are negative too but I'm not sure that would have stopped me to be honest.

I'm going to start doing ovulation tests to get some idea of what my cycle is now. How often does everyone do them, is once a day enough or should I aim for more?

Yes, definitely need to think positive that I'm only a couple weeks away from ovulation. I was more focused on feeling down about it but going to keep reminding myself of that, thanks ladies 💪🏻.

Has anyone tried pre-seed and how did you get on with it? Also looking at Seven Seas Pregnancy Trying for a Baby Conception Vitamins if anyone has tried before?

@mollibu I haven’t but I’m quite curious about preseed so would love to hear other’s experience of using it.

How have people approached telling those around them? I’ve been very selective about who I’ve told about our ttc journey so far and haven’t yet shared this recent loss with anybody but today alone I have had three separate friends message me about their pregnancies and to top it off another friend just shared a photo of her daughter born this morning. As much as I’m happy for all of them, putting on a brave face is really starting to drain me.

When we found out I was pregnant, I was sooo cautious about telling people so kept it mainly to myself bar the odd person. Whereas my partner told all his friends as he was so excited.

We lost the baby at just before 7 weeks. I didn't really have many people I needed to tell but people were obviously wondering why I wasn't partaking in chats/wanting to meet up and why I wasn't at work. I felt so alone that I had no one to discuss how I was feeling with because I didn't really tell many people I was pregnant in the first place!

Whereas my partner felt so supported because he let his friends know what happened and they was continually checking in and seeing how he/we are. It's made me really think that next time when I (hopefully!!) get a positive result, I may share between a few people just to have that little bit of support network.

I had told a few people that I miscarried (mainly those chasing me for a meet up/telephone call etc) but I said it very breezily to avoid sobbing and just explained that we had just lost a baby and taking our time dealing with things!

@Saturnsmoon I posted about it on Facebook when we had the miscarriage. Before then only a few people knew (family and a handful of friends). We wanted to tell people this time as we wanted to be excited about it because we didn't get the chance with the April baby. Obviously ultimately we lost this one too but I don't regret telling anyone.

@GingleAllTheWay2022 I’ve just started doing LH tests; yesterday and early today they were negative, but almost positive, a very strong line; I did another one just now and it was super faint. I’m wondering if I had my surge yesterday when I didn’t test and now it’s dropping off. It seems like you can definitely miss the surge if you’re only testing once a day.

It’s kind of all the pieces of the puzzle for me know kind of when it’s going to happen, egg white cm, when LH strips go a bit darker I test twice a day I took it that I’d peaked when they started to go faint again i have no idea if this is right 🤪

I've never bothered with LH strips as I get ovulation pain and EWCM in the build up to that so it's pretty easy for me to know when it's happened.

Thanks all, wish we'd started sooner now lol! Although still at the flashing smiley so hopefully there's time. Would be so amazing to be pregnant again straight away, fingers crossed.

@mollibu we just told close family we were expecting, but then told work after the MMC as felt it was important they knew so could support us. Personally I've really benefitted from people's support, lots have messaged me saying they have been through similar and I figure they will be more sensitive when I go back to work. We used pre seed and conceived, my partner is worried it helped sperm get through that shouldn't have made it but there's no evidence for that.

@mollibu @Saturnsmoon I used Pre seed and another lubricant called Conceive plus when I was first trying, and conceived within 2 cycles so maybe it was a factor.

We found them slightly stickier and less smooth than regular lubricants like Durex (especially Preseed), but I wouldn’t say they ruined the experience or anything like that - for me at least. Husband found Conceive plus better for him.

Preseed comes with some applicators so you insert it like a tampon beforehand. Conceive plus doesn’t, but I bought some applicators online and used them with that too, I liked the idea of getting it deeper inside to help the process along!

One thing to bear in mind unfortunately is they are not cheap and you get a tiny amount.

Partner came home and we DTD, I cried but cry at all my 'firsts' since the loss. I do have the tiniest amount of spotting when I wipe, hope it doesn't mean anythings wrong

@Enigma85 they call the 1st cycle after MC the WTF cycle just because anything goes so I really wouldn’t worry too much. Fingers crossed this is your month xxx