Journey after miscarriage support thread Jan 2023

[Fairylight102]

I wondered if anyone out there would be interested in joining a thread for those who have recently experienced a miscarriage - a place to share how we’re feeling emotionally, physical recovery, becoming ready to try again (for those that want to), and hopefully one day positive stories of successful preganancies.

I’m 32 and recently had a miscarriage at 5-6 weeks of my first pregnancy. I was relieved to have conceived after quite a short time, because I have PCOS and was worried I might struggle to get pregnant.

My miscarriage was about 2 and half weeks ago now, and today is the first day I’ve not had any spotting/bleeding at all, and that has been a relief to feel like my body is moving on from it. I know it’s advisable to do a pregnancy test a few weeks after miscarriage, which is something I’m a bit anxious about doing as I’m fairly sure it will be an emotional thing to do.

Since it happened my sleep pattern and energy levels have been a bit all over the place. Some days I’ve just wanted to sleep all the time, which I think could be a mix of actual physical tiredness and also emotional tiredness/hormonal changes. I was back at work for the first time today, and it was helpful to have something else to focus on and motivate myself for.

I’ve restarted tracking my BBT to see what happens with my cycle returning, though I’m aware it could take a while to get back to normal. My husband and I are both on the same page that we’d like to try again once I’ve had one normal period, so I guess we’ll just see how things go and how we feel when we reach this point.

Sorry this has turned into a longer post than I expected! Anyway, if there’s anyone out there who’s had a similar experience recently and would like a place to share feelings/questions/advice it would be lovely to hear from others.

@Chocolatebean I've heard the same thing about Chinese medicine and I’m thinking it can’t hurt to try 😊
@TheBirdintheCave yeah usually it’s major life events which causes it but in my case it’s “ normal” stress, my body is hyper sensitive to it and I didn’t ovulate for nearly 2 years before conceiving my son and I didn’t ovulate for a year after stopping breastfeeding either. That was only because of stress I generated myself, mental and physical.
@s14a I’m sorry you’re struggling, I think it’s normal as your hormones are out of whack, it’s not helped by EPU being assholes. Surely you should have compassion and empathy if you work there, what is wrong with people!?
Don’t force anything, if you’re not ready to dtd just wait ( even though I appreciate how hard this is!) I hope you’re feeling better soon, sending hugs.

Coming up to 3 weeks post D&C, starting to feel some cramps today so hoping my period makes an appearance soon. And wishing the same to everyone else anxiously waiting for their cycle to resume!

@Chocolatebean @Travellingislife I'm undergoing acupuncture for something unrelated, so mentioned to the C.MD that I was trying to conceive and she's added it to my treatment. I imagine that's what the needles in my abdomen are for. Let's hope they work their magic.

Anyone else experience hair loss post miscarriage? I've gone through hair loss after stopping the pill, then post partum (toddler is 19 months) but it recently started to fall excessively and I expect 3 weeks post pregnancy loss is too soon for it to be related, so I fear even more hair loss down the line. By which time I expect to be practically bald. It's a small thing on the scale of things but a reminder that instead of retaining hair during pregnancy I'm experiencing the opposite.

I raised a concern via pals (not a complaint!) About the way I was treated because whilst my care was completely unacceptable, if I was more vulnerable I'd have really struggled and I didn't want that for anyone else.

The matron has called me today and apologised for my experience and has made an individualised care plan for my next pregnancy to involve an early scan in epau so that's a nice positive step forward.

@YearoftheRabbit23 i had rumblings and weird pains down there for about 4 days then the lightest smear of blood, for 4 days there was barely anything then today the floodgates have opened. In a way it’s sad as we did try to ttc before I had a period and that didn’t work but more than anything I’m delighted to be having my period so I know ( hopefully) am back in track and I can start to track my cycles again. I charted my bbt and my I watch did pick up the temp spike for ovulation so I’m quite impressed at that also not impressed as it pinged me for being unfit today which suck as before I got pregnant I was pretty fit 😢. Last scan I did have a piece of somwthing left inside with a blood supply so everything crossed this period is getting rid of that, I have a scan in 2 days eeeeeeek to see if that piece of whatever has gone I pray it has.
my hair and I have very thin hair is actually in better condition than ever and I was just thinking how thick and shiny it is mind u after my last pregnancy I had hardly any hair left so there’s still time for mine to start dropping instead I have a lovely case of chin acne that I’m struggling to get a hold on oh the joys. I’ve e mailed an acupuncturist so waiting to hear back from them if they work with fertility here’s hoping xxx

Ladies this may seem a silly question but I’m not sure what to do. I have to take a pregnancy test tomorrow for the epu. Do I take just a normal test or do I take one of the really sensitive ones what do u think xxx

@Chocolatebean I would go for the more sensitive one. That way if it's still positive they might be more willing to investigate e.g. do blood test?

@Chocolatebean I know what you mean about being delighted about getting your period but also sad that the egg wasn't fertilised. I hope your appointment provides useful information/support/a way forward!

Hope your acupuncturist also proves useful!

@Chocolatebean When I tested a couple of days ago I did one normal and one early detection one - I figured the early one would be sensitive enough to detect and small amounts left so I can be completely certain it’s gone.

Interesting to hear a few people talking about acupuncture. I had a few sessions around time I started TTC, primarily for migraine but I also mentioned conception/having PCOS. I can’t be sure it helped, but I did noticed an increase in mucus straight after the sessions, and I conceived within 2 cycles so maybe it did contribute. I’ve booked a session for a couple of weeks time, I thought it might help with resetting my cycle and also maybe boost my sense of well-being a bit.

@s14a I’m so sorry to hear about your experience and well done for voicing your concerns. Nothing as bad as that, but I’ve generally felt there’s not as much ongoing support around the experience of miscarriage as there should be.

@YearoftheRabbit23 good thinking I have one frer left in the cupboard for a rainy day 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ I shall use that. Don’t know what your epu is like but I felt like I had to fight for everything, they weren’t going to bring me back and scan me even though there was still a part of my MC attached with a blood supply to me uterus wall, they were just going to leave it and said oh it will probably just come away and I was like erm I’d rather you scan me to check it’s gone so that’s why they are 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ there was no warmth or compassion it was horrible but at least they’re checking me I guess xxx

@Fairylight102 thanks I defo going to do the more sensitive one. Now I think back I went to the accupuncture lady until I was 12 weeks and she always used to say my womb was cold so did something to warm it up lol wish I could remember now xxx

@s14a I was considering doing the same. I'm glad to hear you got a good response from it :)

Does anyone check their cervix? I’m the Queen of tracking everything so of course I check my cervix too 😂
During my fertile window it’s high, soft and open and when your period is due it’s lower and harder. It takes time to learn how it feels but if you try it for a cycle you will be able to notice a difference. That combined with my cervical mucus and temperature very accurately pinpoint my ovulation. When I got pregnant I noticed that my cervix never got lower and harder after ovulation like it normally did. Did any of you notice a change in your cervix after your loss? Mine seems to indicate that I’m in my fertile window now ( my cm does indicate it too but I only stopped spotting 4 days ago and my bleeding started on NYE), but I don’t know if that’s because I’m fertile or because I recently experienced a loss.

@Travellingislife a few days after I stopped bleeding I did get the eggwhite cm, i didn’t feel my cervix this would be a few days before I had the scan that saw the egg that was ready. I’m so sorry if this is totally unhelpful. I’m a bit scared of my cervix lol xxx
to the older ladies among us have any of you looked into the supplement DHEA for ladies with low egg reserves and egg health issues it seems to be a little miracle worker, I’ve never had my ovarian reserve checked but am almost 40 so chances are it’s not great xxx

@Chocolatebean that really helps, thank you! It seems like it’s possible to get ewcm a few days after the bleeding stopped. You got it confirmed too by the scan. I just hope I haven’t missed my window now as I won’t see my hubby until tonight..

DHEA looks super interesting, I can’t believe I’ve not heard about it before since I’m so obsessed with my fertility ( and old!). I did an egg reserve check and mine were great thankfully, like someone who is 30, I just turned 41.

@Travellingislife wow that is fantastic about your egg reserve 😁😁😁. I keep going to order a test then don’t I think I’m going to bite the bullet and order one. Chances are you may not have missed the window just go for it you have nothing to loose, as much as I wanted to fall straight away I am consoling myself with the fact my womb lining will be more even and my body has had a chance to recover a little and I did take a lot of painkillers that month 🤦‍♀️. Just makes me feel a bit better, have you read it starts with the egg it’s an interesting read. Xxx

@Chocolatebean I went to see a fertility specialist and he did a scan and a bloodtest, I didn’t know you could just order it! Even if my eggreserve is good my eggs are still 40 years old 🥹
I just have this strong feeling I’ll get pregnant now and I’ll have twins.. I’ll be so gutted if I get my period later this month..
I’ve not read that book, I’ll give it a go, I was just going to start reading Prince Harry’s book but I’ll start with this one instead 😉 xx

@Travellingislife oh I hope so so much that it all happens for you twins would be amazing i honestly had a feeling I’d fall when I did with this last one and I did just sadly it wasn’t meant to be. I dont have any feelings about going forward so I guess time will tell. Got absolutely everything crossed for you and for all of us ❤️. You’ll have to let me know what you think of that book it backs everything up with science studies which makes me trust it more xxx

hi everyone, hope i am ok to put this here just looking for some advice or opinions - i will explain my story and then show the test progression as pictures.

We miscarried at 12 weeks 3 weeks ago - i had surgery and my bleeding stopped the next day (20th of December)

Me and my partner have been sexually active since the 27th (soon for some i know but going on to try again is the only thing seeming to get us through this)

i had a negative test 14 days after the miscarriage - Fast forward to Sunday night Monday and today i’ve had very faint positives, three at home and one at the doctors (i did one because i had what felt like implantation pain) - i have NO idea whats going on but the GP doctor has referred me back to EPAU.

They said one of two things, the negative was false and my HCGs are still coming down OR a very very very early new pregnancy.

I have a scan on Friday to confirm whether there was anything left from the surgery still causing a positive (which is unlikely) and a blood test to see my HCGs.

Has anyone experienced this before? Surely its way way too soon to know if i’m pregnant again? And surely they would know if they left something behind and i would have had other symptoms like infection etc if this was the case? So a possible false negative and HCGs coming down i reckon?

Beyond confused and this glimmer of hope of a new pregnancy or the horror of something still being there from the miscarriage is going to feel like i’ve lost the baby twice if its a bad outcome.

I wish waited for my first cycle but i am so desperate for a baby and i can’t think of anything else.

i have taken tests Sunday, Monday and today and i feel the line has gotten darker and more prominent - can you guys take a look on the pic below and tell me what you think? Its taking the 3 mins for the lines to come up - so either fading HCG or a very very very early detection… but they are getting more prominent?

similar stories if any?

Thank you in advance for reading.

Pictured is the line progression from my home tests and the test the doctors did.

@Mac55555 . Hopefully it’s a congratulations,Will the best thing not be to get bloods taken every 48 hours then they can see what your hog is doing . If you definitely got that negative test then I would have thought it must be a new pregnancy. My tests after the MC were strong positives and took just over 3 weeks to be negative x

@Mac55555 sorry I haven’t experienced it before but to me it sounds like a new pregnancy. I guess time will tell but I appreciate that the wait is super difficult. I really hope you get positive news soon 🙏🏼

Hey thanks for the reply, they have agreed to do HCG bloods after checking no old tissue is found on the scan Friday, said highly unlikely to find tissue as they checked me after my surgery in December - its all very confusing :( loosing a baby couple days before xmas at 12 weeks was horrific and only thing keeping me going is trying again but this limbo period i’m just trying to not get my hopes up. They said the negative could have been a false negative and HCGs are coming down - thats why i’m probably obsessively testing every morning to see for myself. Maybe i should just wait until Friday.

i’m really sorry about your MC, i hope you’re doing ok and you get your rainbow. did you test after 3 weeks and it was negative completely? Xxx

@Travellingislife thank you ❤️❤️ i wish you all the best too xx

@Mac55555 mine was a missed mc which was medically managed (tablets) I did have a small amount of retained tissue my tests started off very strong finally negative at the weekend. Hcg doubles every 48 hours so u will see a difference every 48 hours on ur test if you are newly pregnant ( in theory). I think you will have to go with the hcg I do t even know if scans would see anything in a new pregnancy till about 6 weeks but the drs will know more than me I do know they will be able to see retained tissue x

So I’ve finally done hcg and lh tests, 11 days after the day of the heaviest bleeding. Lh negative but hcg showed a very faint positive. I’m having ovulation signs so goodness knows what’s going on. I feel so ready for ttc so I’ll keep testing, dtd and hope for the best!

@Travellingislife thats exactly what I had, the only conclusion I can make is is you can ovulate without your hcg being absolute zero even though they say it’s impossible I was testing my LH also and it was negative I’ve still kept them all as I was so confused x