Journey after miscarriage support thread Jan 2023

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I wondered if anyone out there would be interested in joining a thread for those who have recently experienced a miscarriage - a place to share how we’re feeling emotionally, physical recovery, becoming ready to try again (for those that want to), and hopefully one day positive stories of successful preganancies.

I’m 32 and recently had a miscarriage at 5-6 weeks of my first pregnancy. I was relieved to have conceived after quite a short time, because I have PCOS and was worried I might struggle to get pregnant.

My miscarriage was about 2 and half weeks ago now, and today is the first day I’ve not had any spotting/bleeding at all, and that has been a relief to feel like my body is moving on from it. I know it’s advisable to do a pregnancy test a few weeks after miscarriage, which is something I’m a bit anxious about doing as I’m fairly sure it will be an emotional thing to do.

Since it happened my sleep pattern and energy levels have been a bit all over the place. Some days I’ve just wanted to sleep all the time, which I think could be a mix of actual physical tiredness and also emotional tiredness/hormonal changes. I was back at work for the first time today, and it was helpful to have something else to focus on and motivate myself for.

I’ve restarted tracking my BBT to see what happens with my cycle returning, though I’m aware it could take a while to get back to normal. My husband and I are both on the same page that we’d like to try again once I’ve had one normal period, so I guess we’ll just see how things go and how we feel when we reach this point.

Sorry this has turned into a longer post than I expected! Anyway, if there’s anyone out there who’s had a similar experience recently and would like a place to share feelings/questions/advice it would be lovely to hear from others.

Hi @hennie222 so sorry to hear you've been through it. It seems a few of us also are over 35, even though I knew it deep down I hated at the hospital when the doctor said "the only risk to trying again is your age", that hit hard. There are lots of success stories though on here that I read to keep my hopes up.

Hello lovely ladies. I am so sorry for your losses. I find myself yet again in the club nobody wants to be in. Sorry for the long post but it’s a lonely place to be.

I am very fortunate to have one DD (who is just 2) who was easily conceived (2nd month of not really trying - we only DTD 3 times!), straightforward pregnancy and birth. Spring 2022 we decided TTC number 2. My DH works away 2 weeks a month which complicates things.

In sept I found out I was pregnant. I had spotting which I never had with my DD. I ended up seeing EPU and having a scan at 7 weeks which showed tiny embryo with HB but I continued to bleed and in Oct had a natural miscarriage (confirmed by a later scan to be complete).

Understandably we were devastated and it really was hard. We decided to try again straight away after a negative test and I found out I was pregnant again. No bleeding this time but decided to have a private scan at 8 weeks. They found the sac (measuring 7 weeks) but no embryo. On Thursday the EPU scan showed no growth in two weeks so was told it was a blighted ovum. I opted for medical management and it started things very quickly. I am being scanned again today as the bleeding has been slowed down but I’m not sure if it’s completed.

we have decided to wait for my period to return before trying again, I can’t face going through it again. My hospital won’t look into it until 3 miscarriages. I’ve lost complete faith in my body. I’ll be 37 later this week and all I can think that it’s an age factor. Are you guys doing anything different this time? Dreading going back to being obsessed about ovulation (not helped by DH being away), being in the in the TTW….first period post miscarriage. :-(

@Chocolatebean thank you lovely - I find pregnancy announcements a bit challenging at the best of times but it definitely hit harder having just lost a pregnancy.

@MrsLevs19 so sorry that you have gone through two losses so close together. Can’t imagine how hard that must be. Totally understand your dread, I’m really not looking forward to using ovulation tests again and I’m worried about getting my next period even though I guess it would be a sign my body is back on track. Sending you hugs!

@Enigma85 i’ve been wondering the same although have to admit to already having had unprotected sex since the bleeding stopped. I don’t think I can face doing a pregnancy test so am just going to do as @TheBirdintheCave, try and track ovulation and go from there.

Hi ladies and welcome to the new ladies so sorry to meet you in this group. I’m totally with the trying before the first period I did even though they told me not to and I was on antibiotics I just felt so depressed I needed to so I did. My period is still deciding what to do it started again yesterday a few more streaks and then stopped again aaaarrrrggghhhhhhh it’s driving my mad, none of this is easy is it. I’m 39 ( and a half 🤦‍♀️) I’ve read it starts with the egg and she advises which supplements to take so I’ve bought some of them) I’m also going to attempt a much healthier diet I was super healthy having fertility smoothies when I fell last time, since positive result I ate crap I doubt that caused the MC but I’ve been eating rubbish ever since so I need to improve my diet majorly. In the book it talks about avoiding bpa so I’ll do that where I can but not going to get obsessive this is a Marathon not a sprint ( hopefully not too long a one ) xxx is there anything you guys are doing xxx

I'm going for the 'sex every other day' method this time and relying less on trackers/OPKs. Taking vitamins as usual and eating healthier, which I should be doing anyway. Ditching takeaways, cooking more from scratch, massively increasing fruit and veg intake. Can't hurt anyway.

Anyone considering, or using, baby aspirin? My implantation/placenta looked fine apparently, so I'm not sure blood flow is an issue for me but I like I'll regret it if I don't at least try and I miscarry again.

@GingleAllTheWay2022 I've thought about it (not that I'll ever get pregnant again) but I've read it can interfere with implantation so that would put me off using it :/ I know what you mean though, there's always the question of 'what if that was the issue all along?'.

I’m considering the baby aspirin once I get a positive test ( fingers crossed ) I had a super healthy smoothie this morning but put too much spirulina in it was gross then sad to say went to mcdonalds. I will do better I’m giving myself till the end of my period to get back to heathy stuff with minimal rubbish xxx I’m already sick of necking vitamins but hope it’s all worth it xxx

@Chocolatebean
I don’t want you to get your hopes up in vain but could it not be implantation bleeding? You saw eggs and dtd.

Can I ask, what did everyone do with their positive tests after they miscarried? I'm holding onto mine as I'm finding it really hard to let go. But not sure whether to take the plunge and put them in the bin.

Sooo unsure on what to do!

@mollibu I binned everything this morning and put all of my vitamins etc in a box in the bathroom. It's unlikely I'll ever need them again but they're there just in case of a miracle.

@mollibu I’ve been carrying mine around with me in my bag because I couldn’t face chucking it out but think I will do so tonight or tomorrow morning as my bag needs a clear out and I think I need to let go of it and move on. Easier said then done though.

@TheBirdintheCave I've put my vitamins in a drawer too hoping for a miracle as well. I've got them well hidden behind everything so I don't face seeing them every day!

@mollibu I've thrown mine away, I've decided a new year, a new start. It just made me feel really sad looking at them and thinking about what could have been but I think it's completely personal choice.

@GingleAllTheWay2022 I've bought some baby aspirin for next time, the nurse at EPU said she couldn't officially advise to take it but unofficially said she would as it doesn't do any harm and often has a benefit.

5 days post D&C and the bleeding has come back a bit :( feeling so let down by my body at the moment.

@Saturnsmoon exactly the same as me, walking around with 4 positive tests in my bag and no pregnancy☹️.

My partner agrees with throwing them in the bin and moving on but as you said easier said than done.

It sounds silly but I didn't know if there was anything small that could be done with them? Unsure what, maybe I'll have a search on Etsy. I know I can't hold onto them forever but I'm not sure I'm strong enough to throw them away.

@mollibu If you can't throw them away then can you store them out of sight somewhere? That way they're there if you need them. I have all of my scan photos in the filing box.

@Travellingislife I think there’s too much for it to be implantation bleeding. It is like the bits in a period but without the blood ( sorry I know I’m the queen of tmi🤦‍♀️) it’s like a dry period ugh.
@mollibu i threw mine away, I did it before I could even think about it mind I’ve never cried either I think I’m still in shock/denial I’m sure it’s going to catch up with Me as I was so so happy to be pregnant life’s just not fair is it xxx

Thanks @Saturnsmoon it’s been really tough. I naively thought it couldn’t happen again. I’m booked into have an MVA on Friday (happy birthday to me) as the scan this morning showed the meds hadn’t worked. I feel like I just need to get it done so I can move on.

Going to try and focus on myself a bit - exercising and healthy eating before we start again. X

@mollibu I threw everything away and deleted all my photos of my son holding the positive test 💔 I needed to do it for closure as it was too upsetting seeing them and watching the photos. I felt so much better after doing it. Fresh start 2023 and all that. It’s not for everyone though of course. Maybe put them out of sight for a while.
@Chocolatebean ah ok, well at least it’s a good sign that your body is getting back in balance again.

@MrsLevs19 so sorry about your losses ❤️ I work away a lot too so I can definitely relate to the stress of trying to catch ovulation, I’m pretty sure I’ll miss it this cycle and I’m so upset about it. I just want to quit my job at the moment.

I’ve always been quite healthy; exercising, eating well, prioritising sleep ( as well as you can with a 2 year old!) so I‘ll keep that up. Stress is a huge factor in fertility issues from what I gather and I’ve definitely got quite a stressful life. This time I will be working on reducing stress, it can really affect your hormones if you are stressed. I’ll only have one coffee a day ( spikes cortisol which can interfere with female hormones) and I’ll also do breathing exercises/ meditation. I’m going to do acupuncture and/ or reflexology too as I’ve heard many successful stories from people trying it for different fertility issues.

ive been think ing about doing accupuncture I did it last time and it worked for me first time and that time I did get a healthy baby. I just need to fine someone round here who does it. Another thing is from Chinese medicine is they say to always keep your womb warm ie. Don’t eat or drink anything really cold and also to always keep your feet warm don’t know if there’s anything in it but I took the chill off my evil smoothie this morning just in case lol xxx my smoothie was so bad I chucked a load of chocolate in at and whizzed it in to make it taste a bit better lol guessing this isn’t part of the Mediterranean diet but it was the only way to get it down 😂😂😂

@Travellingislife From what I understand the stress they're referring to is the kind you might get from major life events like someone dying or getting ill, moving house, getting married etc.

It would have to be so extreme that it affected your cycle by delaying/stop ovulation in order to affect fertility.

I'm stressed all the time just in general but still ovulate as usual every month.

Thanks @Travellingislife it definitely puts on the pressure. The months I got pregnant we DTD every 2 days as he was around.

I think I might try some acupuncture, I’ve never had it before and might help me get into a better mindset TTC again and help with my cycle. X

I'm really struggling today after miscarriage on the 26th. I'm not sure if it's a hormone drop (I haven't taken any tests since) or if it's just the two miscarriages in 3 months catching up with me.

I had a really bad experience with the early pregnancy unit when I miscarried and I think I'm still experiencing a lot of anxiety around it.

I'm supposed to be going back to work on Thursday which is incidentally the date I should've been having my 12 week scan. I just feel so empty and defeated. I've got no energy and feel like a complete zombie.

We weren't going to wait for first period after miscarriage but at the moment I can't even get my head around DTD again.

@s14a Sorry you had a rubbish time with your EPU :( They do seem to just suck in general. Mine didn't know why I was there the last time (god knows why no one had put it on my notes) and I had to tell them it was because my baby had died which was horrible.

@s14a I'm really sorry to hear you're struggling. I had surgery on the 29th and my hormones have been all over the place last few days. Just been in floods of tears. I'm due back to work on Friday but got serious anxiety about it, I'm a teacher so the students will all ask where I've been and a colleague got pregnant same time as me (her pregnancy is healthy so far). Really considering asking for another week off but feel so guilty about it. All we can do is ride it out I think :(