Journey after miscarriage support thread Jan 2023

[Fairylight102]

I wondered if anyone out there would be interested in joining a thread for those who have recently experienced a miscarriage - a place to share how we’re feeling emotionally, physical recovery, becoming ready to try again (for those that want to), and hopefully one day positive stories of successful preganancies.

I’m 32 and recently had a miscarriage at 5-6 weeks of my first pregnancy. I was relieved to have conceived after quite a short time, because I have PCOS and was worried I might struggle to get pregnant.

My miscarriage was about 2 and half weeks ago now, and today is the first day I’ve not had any spotting/bleeding at all, and that has been a relief to feel like my body is moving on from it. I know it’s advisable to do a pregnancy test a few weeks after miscarriage, which is something I’m a bit anxious about doing as I’m fairly sure it will be an emotional thing to do.

Since it happened my sleep pattern and energy levels have been a bit all over the place. Some days I’ve just wanted to sleep all the time, which I think could be a mix of actual physical tiredness and also emotional tiredness/hormonal changes. I was back at work for the first time today, and it was helpful to have something else to focus on and motivate myself for.

I’ve restarted tracking my BBT to see what happens with my cycle returning, though I’m aware it could take a while to get back to normal. My husband and I are both on the same page that we’d like to try again once I’ve had one normal period, so I guess we’ll just see how things go and how we feel when we reach this point.

Sorry this has turned into a longer post than I expected! Anyway, if there’s anyone out there who’s had a similar experience recently and would like a place to share feelings/questions/advice it would be lovely to hear from others.

@Enigma85 Ignore me- I see you had surgery! How were your bleeds after the surgery? Yesterday I got my first one (7 weeks post surgery) and it’s poor flow, even though my lining had thickened up nicely.

@VillageFete all the reading I’ve done suggests drs aren’t bothered how much bleed you have as long as you have a bleed however I just do t see how this can be so you it just doesn’t feel right to me. I guess you need to go with the experts see what they say it’s so awful as it’s such a major decision for you isn’t it xxx

@Chocolatebean It really is, because it’s a hard fought for embryo, rather than just TTC naturally.

The scan will only show me how the lining looks anyway, it can’t show scarring etc.. But how unlucky would I be to have scarring from that procedure? Surely it’s fairly rare? I just don’t know what decision to make! X

@VillageFete its really rare to get the scarring I think sadly due to our situation we always fear the worst also if there is scarring is that scarring is always going to be there no matter how many cycles you go through? I’d go with what the experts say. It’s awful how stressful it all is it’s the last thing you need xxx

@Enigma85 Huge congratulations!
@Chocolatebean I dont hold out too much hope with the gp but need to feel like I'm being proactive. I hope your visit to your friends goes well today and is not too hard or emotional for you!

@VillageFete thanks for the advice for Letrozole, no harm in asking. They hand out prescriptions for all sorts and I rarely have to go there so I hope they don't deny me!

I'll let you all know how it goes.

Congratulations on the bfp!!!

So exciting to see it going in the right direction!

I got my first flashing smiley face today at cd12 so I'm hoping that's a really good sign as I didn't get one last month until cd17.
It's just too cold to baby dance!

@VillageFete Mine were all over the place. My first proper period after surgery was stupidly light and never really got going. My second one was very heavy and long.

@Enigma85 amazing, congratulations! It’s really heartening to see several pregnancies on this thread already!

@SMG1992 I am thinking similarly to you of getting it on record with the GP. My last cycle was unusually short so they sent me for a blood test - just waiting to speak to someone about the results and it’s not easy to get an appointment. I’m still relatively early in the process (TTC since October) but I also have PCOS which is a worry in the back of my mind, so I want to get it on record in case I do need fertility support in case it helps get it taken seriously sooner.

@Enigma85 huge congratulations, such lovely news and lines!

@Enigma85 Wow! Congrats! What an amazing line for 12dpo too :D

Morning guys, went for an ultrasound yesterday. My bleed has been fresh, red blood but unfortunately there’s not much of it. My lining is 8mm and bleed has stopped now. It’s too thick to proceed with my embryo transfer :(

It’s likely hormonal because of my PCOS and I know I didn’t ovulate in that post surgery cycle, but I can’t just sit around and hope the next bleed is better. I’m miles behind, i’ve been trying to get this baby for 3.5 years!

Anyway, i’ve booked in with Adrian Lower. Seeing him on Tuesday. He’s the UK specialist in scarring/Asherman’s and will perform a scan and be able to confirm that I hopefully don’t have it and then will sort me a prescription for something to hopefully be able to bring on a stronger bleed next month. I’ve taken it upon myself to start Letrozole too to ensure ovulation and a shorter cycle (They are around 42-50 days usually and the wait for a bleed is frustrating)

He’s expensive, I can’t keep affording all of this!! I’ve had sooooo many tests this last year, but I feel I need to do this for peace of mind.

I’ll update you all.

I'm out for this month as AF arrived today. Just went mad on Holland and Barratt and bought all the seeds as may as well try. Had felt so positive this time too as had been having cramps since 4dpo. I wonder if cramps can be psychological?!

@SMG1992 how did it go with the gp I had my fingers crossed for you xxx

@@VillageFete oh bugger I’m so sorry I was hoping you would have a little miracle and it would be fine and good to go. I’ve got everything crossed this specific At can do what you need and you can get that little bean in there. When do you have your appointmentxxx
afm went to see my friend who had him aged 46 all natural conceived straight away. The baby was beautiful I had a cuddle and felt nothing but joy and happiness. He was perfect but I also knew he wasn’t mine if that makes sense so u was fine if anything it’s made Me more determined.

hubby has been a sweetheart and e mailed all the fertility clinics in our area about our situation and seeing which we like and who seems most to suit our needs so here’s hoping

@hennie222 im so sorry a load of us have started at the same time so you can join us, feel a bit sad and get ready to go again 🫂

hi @hennie222 im so sorry what I wrote above sounds a bit insensitive and I totally didn’t mean it like that what it was meant to mean was you’re not alone, a few of us have started at the same time so don’t feel alone. It hits like a ton of bricks doesn’t it especially when our bodies have been cruel enough to give us symptoms. I had absolutely no symptoms at all so I took that to be a good sign 🤦‍♀️ and then my period started 🤦‍♀️xxx

@hennie222 Sorry it didn’t work out for you this month.

I have also wondered the same about symptoms being psychological. Last month I was having cramps/nausea etc from around 4DPO I was convincing myself maybe this is an early implantation sign etc

This cycle I have just ovulated, currently 3DPO and again I feel like I’m noticing cramps/nausea again. Trying not to read too much into it this time though.

The constant body-monitoring is so stressful, yet I can’t seem to stop myself! I just dream of a day in the future when I’ve had my baby(ies) and I no longer know or care what day of the cycle I’m on, and I never again have to wake up and take my BBT - I swear sometimes I dream about the taste of the thermometer in my mouth 🤢

@Chocolatebean im so glad you had a lovely time with your friend and her baby.

My appointment was an absolute waste of time I’m afraid! He wants me to wait for a few more days of this period to see if I carry on bleeding. If I’m still bleeding then I need another scan if not then carry on trying for another month as hopefully this period is more back to normal.
wouldn’t do anything else for me right now

my period is SO heavy, I’ve never had one like it. No idea whether that’s a good sign or not?!
I just felt like I was wasting their time :(

my husband and I have decided to take the pressure off a bit (easier did than done) but I’ve been in such a rut I need to start enjoying the present rather than solely focusing on the future.

It's so confusing what bodies do post miscarriage. I wish there was a textbook or any level of certainty.
Hopefully I'll get my peak fertility tomorrow or Saturday so I've ovulated at a reasonable point in my cycle.

We have an appointment with a fertility specialist who runs a recurrent miscarriage clinic on the 21st where I should be between 10 and 12 dpo based on how things are going at the minute.

Got my static smiley this morning so definitely going in the right direction!

Last month I didn't ovulate until CD 21 but still came on CD 28 so knew I was completely out.

Since taking these bee supplements I'm now ovulating on CD 15 which is exactly what I need!

What does everyone do in terms of baby dancing? Do you bd on the day of static smiley and the day after or the day of the static smiley and both days after?

@Chocolatebean I didn't take it as insensitive at all so don't worry, I got what you meant!!

@s14a Good luck with your static smiley!
We were baby dancing (that's hilarious!) on static smiley day and then 2 days after I feel like that should cover the 24-48 hours post lh surge.
What are the bee supplementys you are taking? I've got some Ovum coming so I probably should stop all of the different supplements but love hearing what everyone is taking.

@Fairylight102 fingers crossed for you, you never know.
I've just started trying to bbt again. Couldn't get anything useful out of it last time I tried but wanted to check I'm actually ovulating. Just another thing to add to the routine again !

I'm taking:
Pregnancare
Bee propolis
Royal jelly
Bee pollen granules.

EWCM has increased loads too so all in the right direction.

Hey, I wondered has anybody on this thread had experience with HCG taking a long time to leave their system? I'm coming up to 5 weeks post natural miscarriage (12 weeks but actually only 7.5 weeks) and I'm still getting a positive test and no signs of ovulation (the LH strips are showing positive but I imagine they are actually picking up the HCG). I have had a scan and she didn't see anything retained, but I did have a small cyst on my non pregnancy ovary. I just feel like its never going to leave me at the moment!

And I feel this pressure to be able to to try again within the first 3 months and I feel that slipping away with every week. And then I feel guilty for getting frustrated because it has been a physically more simple process for me regarding the actual miscarriage so I feel like I have nothing to be frustrated about...

I’m out too and so sad about it @hennie222 looks like we are in sync my AF arrived this morning xxx

@SMG1992 so sorry u didn’t get anywhere with the dr, at least it is logged though so that will help u further down the line if u need it. My supplements are
a pro biotic
DHEA
impryl
ovum
blueberry extract
pomegranite juice
wheatgrass/super green powder
the ivum literally arrived yesterday but I’ve been taking the ingredients of it since October minus the time I was pregnant.
@s14a aweaome about the static I always feel so amazing when I get one of those you’d think I’d found out I was pregnant lol xxx
@Fairylight102 the mind can do awful things to us I’m 100% sure this is true xxx