Journey after miscarriage support thread Jan 2023

[Fairylight102]

I wondered if anyone out there would be interested in joining a thread for those who have recently experienced a miscarriage - a place to share how we’re feeling emotionally, physical recovery, becoming ready to try again (for those that want to), and hopefully one day positive stories of successful preganancies.

I’m 32 and recently had a miscarriage at 5-6 weeks of my first pregnancy. I was relieved to have conceived after quite a short time, because I have PCOS and was worried I might struggle to get pregnant.

My miscarriage was about 2 and half weeks ago now, and today is the first day I’ve not had any spotting/bleeding at all, and that has been a relief to feel like my body is moving on from it. I know it’s advisable to do a pregnancy test a few weeks after miscarriage, which is something I’m a bit anxious about doing as I’m fairly sure it will be an emotional thing to do.

Since it happened my sleep pattern and energy levels have been a bit all over the place. Some days I’ve just wanted to sleep all the time, which I think could be a mix of actual physical tiredness and also emotional tiredness/hormonal changes. I was back at work for the first time today, and it was helpful to have something else to focus on and motivate myself for.

I’ve restarted tracking my BBT to see what happens with my cycle returning, though I’m aware it could take a while to get back to normal. My husband and I are both on the same page that we’d like to try again once I’ve had one normal period, so I guess we’ll just see how things go and how we feel when we reach this point.

Sorry this has turned into a longer post than I expected! Anyway, if there’s anyone out there who’s had a similar experience recently and would like a place to share feelings/questions/advice it would be lovely to hear from others.

Hi @Enigma85 aw sweet I’m so glad it all seems to have gone as well as it could have, probably the dread of it is worse than actually being there and getting on with things and now you have ovulation to focus on. Hee hee we did the same every other day till the static smiley and couple of days after the flashy we were knackered after that lol.

hi @38andtrying sorry you got a bfn, I’m due to test Tuesday and feeling absolutely no hope whatsoever so pretty sure I’ll be Bfning with you xxx

Morning everyone,
Many of you seem to have ovulated already and are in your tww, I hope you get positive news!!
Congratulations to everyone getting their BFP’s as well, I can imagine the mixed emotions, overjoyed but also worried because of previous losses. I know I will be very worried when I (hopefully) get a BFP.

I finally got my period, on day 32 after my mc, only a few days later than my usual cycle, it felt like I was waiting forever though! I’m going to use Clearblue’s opk’s which will hopefully give me heads up a few days before ovulation.

Sending lots of good luck to you all.

Im using the cheap sticks for ovulation testing & line doesn't seem to be changing but my app says im a day away from peak ovulation. Having bloods done CD21 to check ovulation but isn't that a week too late if on average ovulation is CD14?!

Giving my body x2 cycles to balance out following MC in Dec so just wanting to know what dates are for when we try again. Hopefully 5th time lucky 🤞

So we had our consultation this morning and in summary the choices are to keep trying or to have IVF. Turns out we wouldn't need ICSI as my husband's motility is now classed as normal! 😦I can't believe it after all the stress trying to have our son and having results at 13% and 16% that it's now sitting at 44%.

I have no idea of what to do. My AMH is apparently very good for 36 so the consultant said 37/38 is when he'd be pushing for us to have IVF but I really don't want a second child that late.

If I were younger I'd just keep trying naturally but I hate not having any control over how long it takes. At least with IVF I'd know that in six weeks time we'd have a good possibility of being pregnant.

@Xdfingersttc no it's not late because its checking for the progesterone peak that happens after ovulation, not the LH peak that the OPKs test for.

Be wary about the CD21 test though - it actually needs to be 7 days prior to your period starting (so they assume a 28 day cycle). I have a 30 day cycle so should have actually been tested on CD23 and the first test didn't pick the progesterone up well. I repeated it the next month on the right day (I think) and the result was a lot better. Progesterone can change rapidly in a single day so it's easy to miss!

@TheBirdintheCave can I be nosy and ask, is this a private consultation? Or are the NHS offering you IVF?

@GingleAllTheWay2022 This is private at Kings Fertility London. We don't qualify for NHS any more unfortunately as we have a son.

Oh ok that makes sense. I think my periods have returned to regular so that is one positive.
Its a year this week since i had my chemical pregnancy, feel like a crazy lady tracking symptoms/ taking supplements etc but it is good to know im not alone & this is 'normal'

Hi all

Nature seems to be taking it's course after my MMC was confirmed last Friday - I'm glad that I will hopefully avoid any interventions. I thought I would be more emotional but actually feeling quite philosophical about the whole thing.

I've mentioned my ongoing health issues before and now a miscarriage has been confirmed I can at least go ahead and a have the full suite of MRI and CT scans they wanted me to have and will probably have a procedure to get another stent in my liver.

As such I won't be trying for a while - that does fill me with dread slightly as I'm 41 in April and really wanted this to happen in 2023.. will see how the next few months go and see if I can get clearance to try again. It took a year to get pregnant so am slightly chomping at the bit!

Good luck to those of you in the TWW.
x

@TheBirdintheCave that’s interesting about your husbands improved motility - had he been doing anything different? It’s an amazing increase, he must be chuffed but can only imagine what a surprise it must have been to suddenly have your anticipated path look different. If you are unsure I’d say it sounds like taking a little bit of time to think about it won’t hurt.

We got my husband’s SA results back today. Overall it looked fine but progressive sperm motility is lower than it should be for conception although by no means dreadful. I’m not hugely surprised as he was in a bad road accident last year and physically and mentally has taken a really long time to recover from it. He’s been taking supplements for a month or two and I wouldn’t be surprised if actually his stats are on the way up but he still feels quite deflated by the results. I don’t really know how I feel about them, in a way maybe I feel ‘relieved’ to know that we might have found at least part of the reason why it’s taken us such a long time to get pregnant but on the other hand it doesn’t make me hugely optimistic about our chances of getting pregnant again soon. Obviously spent most the afternoon on Google and found everything from ‘he’s basically infertile’ to “his results wouldn’t even be classified as low in some countries”.

I’m also still waiting for my first period post mc to arrive it’s been 5.5 weeks now and I’m actually a bit surprised it’s taking this long as I had my mc quite early on and my cycles are normally very regular. Anyway if it still hasn’t appeared by Tuesday I’ll do a test but really not expecting a bfp as just don’t feel pregnant in the slightest and our dtd has been rather erratic. Kind of kicking myself for not tracking anything post mc now. Love to all

@TheBirdintheCave wow that’s all great news Oooh you have big decisions to make at least it’s in your control to a point I can’t imagine ivf is cheap but as u say it gives u the gift of 6 weeks then yes or no and If they will do genetic screening that’s another bonus. Xxx
@jalu47 totally get how u feel I’m sat waiting for my scan now and what they find will let me know whether I can just continue ttc or if I have a polyp or retained products so my ttc may be put on hold I’m on my own and a bit scared now I’m here but at least I should get some answers.
we all seem to be moving forward one way or another and at least we all have each other xxx

@Saturnsmoon I put him on Proceive Plus this month along with high strength vitamin D and have been encouraging him to empty the pipes every other day to keep the fresh sperm flowing.

Prior to that he was on Pregnacare men's conception vitamins, vitamin c, cod liver oil and selenium for a year. I'm not sure what made the difference from 2019 but I'm very happy that it did :D We'd suspected as much as we managed two pregnancies in the space of eight months compared to none in 15 months when we were trying first time round.

Hi guys I’m out, thank goodness there’s nothing to see in my womb part of me Is worries they’ve missed it but they did double check. What’s weird is is I defo ovulated 9 days ago as got positive OPK and bbt confirms it but they say I have a dominant follicle so am mid cycle and just about to or just have ovulated just done an OPK and it’s super negative so no idea what’s happening. My womb lining is thin as well they said I could be super early pregnant like 2 days but I would be 9 days so guess that’s out as well. Good news is whatever was in my womb seems to be gone ( just praying they haven’t missed it ) xxx

@Chocolatebean What a strange set of circumstances O_o. So by your calculations you should be getting your AF in about five days time? But they think you're 14 days away?

Glad there was nothing untoward in there at least :)

@Chocolatebean glad there's nothing there but it must be frustrating to not know what's going on!

@TheBirdintheCave and @GingleAllTheWay2022 I know it’s so weird they said do u know In your cycle where you’re at ( of course I know exactly as been temping and opks) but I just said no can you tell me and she said you’re mid cycle there’s a dominant follicle that looks like it’s just about to release the egg or it’s just released. All my apps say my period is due the 7th and I have 28 day cycles. So do I jump hubby tonight lol

Oh and I did an OPK when I got home it’s super faint

@Chocolatebean Glad there’s nothing there, very confusing for you about the cycle dates though. I guess it wouldn’t hurt to give it a go tonight if you get the chance just in case!

Anyone else's first period hit like a ton of bricks? I'm going between crying and wanting to punch a wall. It's like 10 teenage periods added together.

@GingleAllTheWay2022 So sorry to hear that. Mine was a bit heavier than normal and on the last day was a brown colour.

I sympathise with wanting to both cry and hit a wall because I’ve just received another letter reminding me to book a Covid booster due to being vulnerable (which I’m not - it’s because pregnancy is still on my records somewhere).

Last week I went round in such a loop with the GP surgery etc trying to get these kind of communications stopped, so I feel so upset. Maybe it was already in the post by then or something but it just feels so hurtful.

Hi @Fairylight102 im so sorry things like that are just opening up old wounds we are so desperately trying to close they really should get a handle on this once is bad enough but more than that is shocking xxx
@GingleAllTheWay2022 hey sweet my period was bizarre it was like a dry period for 3 days and then the liquid blood joined in it was most bizarre.

haha was just going to say well I’m 9 dpo and still no symptoms of anything but now I have no idea what the heck I am so guess I’ll find out when my period starts 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ I hate not knowing where I am it’s the one bit of control I feel I have xxx

Sorry to hear you went through that (sending hugs). I had two loses in between my kids now and they really did affect me in a lot ways. I would love to join a group for support and sharing. Just because time moves doesn't mean it's all forgotten. Hope you feel better soon :)

@Chocolatebean i’m glad to hear that the scan went okay and you’ve got reassurance that nothing was missed during your procedure. How odd that they said you are mid cycle when you are/were expecting to be late on in your cycle. Is it possible that despite bbt you didn’t ovulate the first time and your body is trying again or can you ovulate twice in one cycle? Sorry if those are really silly questions 🙈. Despite all my obsessive reading on the topic of fertility I feel pretty clueless to what’s going on in our bodies sometimes. Will you still be testing on Tuesday?

@TheBirdintheCave thanks for sharing that, I’ve read good things about proconceive plus and selium so will look into adding those to the mix. Poor man will start to rattle with the amount of supplements I’m adding to his routine 😂

Also I’ve been listening to the worst girl gang ever podcast and have been finding it quite comforting, similarly to this group it makes me feel a little less alone and a bit more understood. Would recommend for those who enjoy podcasts.

@Saturnsmoon I found the worst girl gang book good but haven't listened to the podcast yet so thanks will give it a try

@Chocolatebean glad the scan went ok. Hope you are finding the 2ww ok.

I have had my blood results back - my iron is on the low side so I have been told to three tablets a day for the time being. Good to have some tips on sperm supplements. My husband isn't keen on supplements (!) but is agreeing to have daily nuts and seeds 😂 A start I guess..

@tulipsunday ah I haven’t read the book so will look into that myself!

Also in case helpful my husband has been taking high dose vit C and vit D and have recently added zinc too. There’s no way he would have taken them off his own back but I take Vit. C & D too so have positioned it as something we’re doing together to be healthy 😂also if he’s open to seeds - pumpkin seeds are meant to be great for sperm so maybe add those to the daily seed & nut mix.

Hope the low iron isn’t making you feel too rubbish and hope the tablets do their job soon (raw kale is great for iron if you can stomach the taste).