Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Original poster

Journey after miscarriage support thread Jan 2023

966 replies

Fairylight102 · 03/01/2023 19:21

I wondered if anyone out there would be interested in joining a thread for those who have recently experienced a miscarriage - a place to share how we’re feeling emotionally, physical recovery, becoming ready to try again (for those that want to), and hopefully one day positive stories of successful preganancies.

I’m 32 and recently had a miscarriage at 5-6 weeks of my first pregnancy. I was relieved to have conceived after quite a short time, because I have PCOS and was worried I might struggle to get pregnant.

My miscarriage was about 2 and half weeks ago now, and today is the first day I’ve not had any spotting/bleeding at all, and that has been a relief to feel like my body is moving on from it. I know it’s advisable to do a pregnancy test a few weeks after miscarriage, which is something I’m a bit anxious about doing as I’m fairly sure it will be an emotional thing to do.

Since it happened my sleep pattern and energy levels have been a bit all over the place. Some days I’ve just wanted to sleep all the time, which I think could be a mix of actual physical tiredness and also emotional tiredness/hormonal changes. I was back at work for the first time today, and it was helpful to have something else to focus on and motivate myself for.

I’ve restarted tracking my BBT to see what happens with my cycle returning, though I’m aware it could take a while to get back to normal. My husband and I are both on the same page that we’d like to try again once I’ve had one normal period, so I guess we’ll just see how things go and how we feel when we reach this point.

Sorry this has turned into a longer post than I expected! Anyway, if there’s anyone out there who’s had a similar experience recently and would like a place to share feelings/questions/advice it would be lovely to hear from others.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
tulipsunday · 30/01/2023 21:49

@Chocolatebean I am a symptom spotter too so can totally relate. I have been pregnant three times and the symptoms in the two week wait have been different with each (and the successful pregnancy was the one with the least - the positive result was a complete surprise) so try not to put too much weight on symptoms at this point. I do need to take my own advice on this 😊

tulipsunday · 30/01/2023 21:50

@jalu47 so sorry for your loss ❤️ @TheBirdintheCave that's great your appointment went well

Chocolatebean · 31/01/2023 11:44

@tulipsunday thank you so much for your kind words and making me feel like I’m not 100% nuts. I think the being torn between the 2ww and getting a scan for retained products is just ironic and stressful 🤦‍♀️. I guess it will be one or the other or neither lol xxx

GingleAllTheWay2022 · 31/01/2023 13:20

I started my first period today, 33 days after the MC. I only ovulated 10 days ago according to OPK which is too short for a luteal phase from what I read online so hoping it evens out over the next few cycles. Wishing everyone lots of luck 🍀

Chocolatebean · 31/01/2023 19:35

@GingleAllTheWay2022 hi sweet I think it can take a couple of cycles for things to sort themselves out. I saw my period as I fresh start it felt less depressing that way I’m sure there’s some supplements I can take to help extend the luteal phase.
nothing new here I have treated myself to some good quality ubinoquinol as a compensation for my lack of symptoms I also broke my keto diet as well by scoffing a ton of chocolate so I’m not very happy with myself lol xxx

GingleAllTheWay2022 · 31/01/2023 19:41

@Chocolatebean if anyone deserves to scoff some chocolate it's you!

Gill97 · 31/01/2023 20:50

I recently lost my pregnancy at what we thought was around 7 weeks but due to a subchorionic haematoma, they hadn’t developed and was only around 1/2 weeks gestation. This is my first ever miscarriage. I have a beautiful little girl 3y/o and as much as we are thankful that we have her and she’s here and healthy, I have a hole where a dream was. We started getting excited, planning how our life would be with 2 children and now it’s gone. All I got to see was a little freckle on a screen for not even a minute.

How do you even process this? How do you grieve? I feel like I’m suppressing a lot of my feelings because I don’t feel like I have the right to be sad. Everyone is around saying “you should be thankful, at least you have one” or “everything happens for a reason” but what reason? I am nurse, I look after people all day and I love my job, I give freely, I’m honest and hard working. I contribute to society and the world, god I even recycle?!? why did I possibly deserve this?

I don’t want to forget about them. To me this was my baby.

Chocolatebean · 31/01/2023 21:47

Aw @GingleAllTheWay2022 ❤️❤️❤️. Wish we weren’t all going through this crappy journey xxx

TheBirdintheCave · 31/01/2023 22:03

@Gill97 Sorry for your loss Gill :( I hate it when people say daft things like 'everything happens for a reason'. I don't understand how they think it will help.

OhGodIAmTired · 01/02/2023 09:39

Hi everyone, am really sorry to hear what a hard time you've all been having.

I had a spontaneous/natural miscarriage mid December at 7 weeks. It was my third pregnancy and I have a 3yo already. Before that I had a chemical pregnancy.

The December one was very straightforward thankfully. I knew at about 6/7 weeks I should be feeling more tired/nauseous (I know every pregnancy is different but something just felt off for me). I'd had sore boobs but noticed those symptoms had practically gone away and then experienced some cramping.

When I went to the loo that day and saw spotting I wasn't even shocked, I'd been expecting it weirdly. Called EPU and they said to come in the next day. However when I woke up the next morning the bleeding was red and heavy. I knew. I cried a lot.

The scan and 2 x bloods that week confirmed that the miscarriage had happened and I passed the sac. Bled for about a week and then had a negative pregnancy test about 8 or 9 days after the bleeding first started. I did another about a week later just to be sure.

I wanted to keep track of my cycle so when I saw ewcm I took an ovulation test that came up positive. This was 3 weeks after the bleeding started and 2 weeks after I stopped bleeding.

I didn't want to TTC that month but well, we ended up having sex once around ovulation. I figured it was too late after seeing the positive OPK to get pregnant but I was wrong.

I'm now pregnant again, 6 weeks. I think. No period in between. It's been 28 days since we had sex though.

Had an early viability scan yesterday but it's too early for a heartbeat. They saw the egg at least but am annoyed I went in so early. I now have to wait another two weeks for the next scan. Unless of course I miscarry again at week 7.

I'm so anxious - I know from my other full term pregnancy that my nausea started a few days before 7 weeks. Every day feels so long. I think I'm 6+1 and keep thinking I feel a little sick but is that all in my head? It might be! I am also stressed and have a cold.

Just desperately want to feel morning sickness!

TheBirdintheCave · 01/02/2023 09:54

@OhGodIAmTired I so hope I'm as lucky as you and get a bfp first cycle post MMC too!

There are support groups for people pregnant after miscarriage on the pregnancy forum :) The majority of us here are still waiting for our bfps.

OhGodIAmTired · 01/02/2023 10:03

TheBirdintheCave · 01/02/2023 09:54

@OhGodIAmTired I so hope I'm as lucky as you and get a bfp first cycle post MMC too!

There are support groups for people pregnant after miscarriage on the pregnancy forum :) The majority of us here are still waiting for our bfps.

Oh really? couldn't see any but I'll not bother you all here.

TheBirdintheCave · 01/02/2023 10:06

@OhGodIAmTired Sorry I didn't mean to sound like I was chasing you away, though I will admit I do get jealous when people arrive at these threads already pregnant 😅 I just wanted to offer some help as you said you were feeling anxious. I was in a group for pregnancy after miscarriage with my last pregnancy and it helped me :)

Original poster
Fairylight102 · 01/02/2023 13:02

@OhGodIAmTired Congratulations on your pregnancy!

Thank you for sharing, it’s so good to hear positive stories. Having a miscarriage is such a dark time, so it’s nice to hear about those glimmers of hope.

Fingers crossed many more of us on this thread will have similar experiences in the months to come ❤️

OP posts:
mollibu · 01/02/2023 13:06

OhGodIAmTired · 01/02/2023 09:39

Hi everyone, am really sorry to hear what a hard time you've all been having.

I had a spontaneous/natural miscarriage mid December at 7 weeks. It was my third pregnancy and I have a 3yo already. Before that I had a chemical pregnancy.

The December one was very straightforward thankfully. I knew at about 6/7 weeks I should be feeling more tired/nauseous (I know every pregnancy is different but something just felt off for me). I'd had sore boobs but noticed those symptoms had practically gone away and then experienced some cramping.

When I went to the loo that day and saw spotting I wasn't even shocked, I'd been expecting it weirdly. Called EPU and they said to come in the next day. However when I woke up the next morning the bleeding was red and heavy. I knew. I cried a lot.

The scan and 2 x bloods that week confirmed that the miscarriage had happened and I passed the sac. Bled for about a week and then had a negative pregnancy test about 8 or 9 days after the bleeding first started. I did another about a week later just to be sure.

I wanted to keep track of my cycle so when I saw ewcm I took an ovulation test that came up positive. This was 3 weeks after the bleeding started and 2 weeks after I stopped bleeding.

I didn't want to TTC that month but well, we ended up having sex once around ovulation. I figured it was too late after seeing the positive OPK to get pregnant but I was wrong.

I'm now pregnant again, 6 weeks. I think. No period in between. It's been 28 days since we had sex though.

Had an early viability scan yesterday but it's too early for a heartbeat. They saw the egg at least but am annoyed I went in so early. I now have to wait another two weeks for the next scan. Unless of course I miscarry again at week 7.

I'm so anxious - I know from my other full term pregnancy that my nausea started a few days before 7 weeks. Every day feels so long. I think I'm 6+1 and keep thinking I feel a little sick but is that all in my head? It might be! I am also stressed and have a cold.

Just desperately want to feel morning sickness!

Congratulations on your pregnancy. Hoping for a sticky bean for you Flowers

I can imagine how anxious you're feeling right now. I think my anxiety will be sky high when (hopefully) I fall pregnant again!

My symptoms disappeared for one day and I miscarried the next so I know I'll be symptom spotting/tracking even more than I was before.

Hopefully it's all smooth for you after here, fingers crossed we get our bfp and sticky babies soon🤞🏻

OhGodIAmTired · 01/02/2023 13:06

This might sound truly awful to many of you, and I'm sorry if it is insensitive but perhaps someone else feels the same way.

I am grateful to be pregnant. It is of course a blessing. But it can be quite upsetting to see the positive test. I've had losses before. For me, getting pregnant is not the issue. Staying pregnant is. And that sets off this huge anxiety and worry. Even when I was TTC for about 4m, I was less anxious. Impatient, yes. But as soon as I see that positive pregnancy test, I feel overwhelmed with dread for another loss.

I'm not grieving my other miscarriage any less just because I am now pregnant again. Perhaps I am now grieving it more. I don't know if anyone else feels that way.

Anyway, it's early. I may well lose this one. Maybe then I'll come back to this thread.

Chocolatebean · 01/02/2023 13:33

@OhGodIAmTired congratulations and really hope this one sticks
well I am 8 dpo and absolutely nothing had a few sharp pains in boobs but that’s it it’s the exact time my sore boobs would start before my period ( I think ) oh and my bbt temp dropped ( thanks once again for nothing I watch ).
I know it’s not great for ttc but am considering asking gp for some antidepressants I just feel sad A Lot, I try and keep busy and get a bit better then I sink again not sure what to do. Oh and I’ve deciding I’m ditching keto life is already too depressing lol.
I have my scan to see what is lingering in my womb be it retained products, polyp or goodness knows what. Arrrgggghhhhh
hows everyone else doing xxx

Saturnsmoon · 01/02/2023 14:30

@Chocolatebean don’t blame you for ditching keto! Restrictive diets make me so miserable.

I’ve struggled in finding a balance with these things as I’m so desperate to have a baby that I will do pretty much whatever the Internet tells me but then I’m already 12 months in to ttc and that is hard enough without eliminating my few pleasures like a coffee a day and the very occasional drink.

Definitely think it is worth speaking to your gp about how you are feeling they will also be best able to advise you about taking ad when ttc.

TheBirdintheCave · 01/02/2023 14:33

@Chocolatebean When is your scan?

I'm ok, I just have a cold which sucks x_x We get our results tomorrow from our Monday appointment so will finally have a treatment plan whether that be IVF or otherwise. I also noticed whilst we were there that they're doing a study which involves genetically testing embryos before putting them back and recurrent miscarriage would mean I qualify for it I think.

TheBirdintheCave · 01/02/2023 14:35

@Saturnsmoon I wouldn't worry about a drink here or there or a coffee a day. I really don't think it will make a difference in a negative way. We still have to live whilst we wait after all :)

tulipsunday · 01/02/2023 14:38

Don't blame you @Chocolatebean for ditching the diet. I have had my blood results back and my iron levels are a bit low so I have been given tablets to take. Now have to reduce my tea intake as well as can affect iron absorption 😬

When is your womb scan? Hope it goes well. I am 7dpo I think so similar.

tulipsunday · 01/02/2023 14:41

@TheBirdintheCave think that's a good point. The two week wait is half the month so can't spend half the month miserable.

On a separate note does anybody know about links between pelvic floor issues and miscarriage? Feel like mine isn't great at the moment. I have had two first trimester miscarriages - no surgery. Struggling with weight around my middle as well and wondering if that is also linked/hormonal related? Or maybe just too much chocolate 🤣

Chocolatebean · 01/02/2023 15:14

@Saturnsmoon thanks so much sweet yeah I went all out this month to do everything I could, o did the same last time and it worked first time so I think stupidly I thought it would work this time as well but in reality it’s not sustainable long term. Probably the best I can do is go back to my Coke Zero, relax and enjoy life and go with the flow.
@TheBirdintheCave oh wow so how’s things are moving and wishing I every luck for good results tomorrow wow if you can get genetic that would be awesome, cover every base you can I say, let us know how u get on hot every thing crossed for u xxx
@tulipsunday hi Awww thanks so much scan is tomorrow 1.45 😬😬😬. I’m 99% your pelvic floor won’t have anything to do with a miscarriage or any miscarriage at all it just won’t help during Labour. The only thing close would be an incompetent cervix and that wouldn’t let a miscarriage happen till 16 weeks so no where near . I’m sure there’s another supplement u can take to help with iron absorption I’ll try and remember what it is and yes I used to take my vitamins with tea for years till someone told me tea stop’s absorption ffs. There’s just no joy is there 😂😂😂

38andtrying · 01/02/2023 15:53

OhGodIAmTired · 01/02/2023 13:06

This might sound truly awful to many of you, and I'm sorry if it is insensitive but perhaps someone else feels the same way.

I am grateful to be pregnant. It is of course a blessing. But it can be quite upsetting to see the positive test. I've had losses before. For me, getting pregnant is not the issue. Staying pregnant is. And that sets off this huge anxiety and worry. Even when I was TTC for about 4m, I was less anxious. Impatient, yes. But as soon as I see that positive pregnancy test, I feel overwhelmed with dread for another loss.

I'm not grieving my other miscarriage any less just because I am now pregnant again. Perhaps I am now grieving it more. I don't know if anyone else feels that way.

Anyway, it's early. I may well lose this one. Maybe then I'll come back to this thread.

I am so happy for you, i tested today first month trying and BFN :( i'm jealous lol

You are obviously still hurting from the recent miscarriage, we all are, whether you are pregnant again or not it is not something you can just shelve and so you are on the right thread in my opinion.

I can understand your dread when seeing a positive, i am not so patiently waiting to become pregnant again but already know if i get pregnant again it will be an emotional roller coaster.

The two weeks waiting for the scan after what you have been through is probably worse than any TWW, i really hope all goes well this time and chances are you will have a healthy pregnancy, be kind to yourself and optimistic. of course like us all here you will cushion your hope somewhat. Please keep us updated and hopefully you are sharing some happy news, a ray of light for us all.

i will keep you in my prayers, enjoy this time and try not to let the past rob you of your joy, hard i know x

Enigma85 · 01/02/2023 19:39

Just wanted to jump on here and thank everyone for their lovely messages of support when I returned to work. It has been tough but getting easier every day, my pregnant colleague has been really sensitive to it all which I've really appreciated. Anyway, CD6 now so going to start DTD every other day until I get my static smiley (then I try every day if my fiance will!). Fingers crossed for this month for us all xx