Journey after miscarriage support thread Jan 2023

[Fairylight102]

I wondered if anyone out there would be interested in joining a thread for those who have recently experienced a miscarriage - a place to share how we’re feeling emotionally, physical recovery, becoming ready to try again (for those that want to), and hopefully one day positive stories of successful preganancies.

I’m 32 and recently had a miscarriage at 5-6 weeks of my first pregnancy. I was relieved to have conceived after quite a short time, because I have PCOS and was worried I might struggle to get pregnant.

My miscarriage was about 2 and half weeks ago now, and today is the first day I’ve not had any spotting/bleeding at all, and that has been a relief to feel like my body is moving on from it. I know it’s advisable to do a pregnancy test a few weeks after miscarriage, which is something I’m a bit anxious about doing as I’m fairly sure it will be an emotional thing to do.

Since it happened my sleep pattern and energy levels have been a bit all over the place. Some days I’ve just wanted to sleep all the time, which I think could be a mix of actual physical tiredness and also emotional tiredness/hormonal changes. I was back at work for the first time today, and it was helpful to have something else to focus on and motivate myself for.

I’ve restarted tracking my BBT to see what happens with my cycle returning, though I’m aware it could take a while to get back to normal. My husband and I are both on the same page that we’d like to try again once I’ve had one normal period, so I guess we’ll just see how things go and how we feel when we reach this point.

Sorry this has turned into a longer post than I expected! Anyway, if there’s anyone out there who’s had a similar experience recently and would like a place to share feelings/questions/advice it would be lovely to hear from others.

@VillageFete I had a really strong positive on a FRER 11 days post D&C (test as strong as the control!). I tested this morning 3 weeks post op and there is still a faint line but I had a scan yesterday as part of private investigations I'm getting done and this showed no retained tissue so I think it can just take time for the hormones to come down.

Hi everyone and welcome to any new people that joined since I last posted, I hope everyone is doing as good as can be.

I’ve just caught up on the conversation and seems we are all at various stages since our miscarriages.

Does anyone else feel like time is moving so quickly? i swear it didn’t feel like that when pregnant, since I was willing time to fly by to get to the “safe zone of 12 weeks”. I think I’ve set myself the unrealistic goal of having a baby this year and since I’m not actually pregnant right now, that dream is becoming further away from reality.

An update from me, I got my period exactly 5 weeks following the D&C. I’m now tracking ovulation (since day 7!) as I don’t want to miss the opportunity, however I’m pretty sure I didn’t ovulate between D&C and first period as I was tracking throughout.

Period has finished and I’m still getting some very mild cramping and occasional spotting when I wipe - does anyone else have experience of this?

I’m using the clear blue smiley face OPK’s and for the last few days shows an empty face (that’d be right!). What’s everyone’s experience with these?

x

@Raey thanks for your update. I am not tracking ovulation or temperatures or anything, but like you I had spotting for a few days after my first post-op period, usually spotting is more like 1-2 days, this time was more like 3-5 days.

Since my ob-gyn said wait 2 cycles before trying again, I'm following her instructions because if I don't and miscarry again, I'll never get over myself for not following her advice.

@tttc2022 This makes me feel better. Thank you! Mine was a bloody dye stealer yesterday! Although only 6 days post procedure. I’m also having a private scan on what will be 3 weeks post procedure, so i’m sure if anything was (God forbid) retained, it would show there?

@Raey I’m expecting my first period since miscarriage any day now. I believe from BBT that I ovulated about 14 days ago and I’m having a bit of cramping so seems likely my period is coming soon.

I’ve read the first period after a miscarriage can be heavier than normal, did you experience that?

Mentally I’m sort of glad for it to come because that will show my body is healing and I’ll be able to start afresh with a new cycle. But at the same time I’m getting flashbacks to the miscarriage each time I wipe and check if I’ve started bleeding yet.

@Raey Definitely agree about time flying. My pregnancy has now been gone for longer than it was ever there and that’s a really weird thought. I was only knowingly pregnant for a week before the miscarriage, so it’s almost starting to feel like a dream that I was ever pregnant at all.

I want to try again but I’m so nervous about the mental toll it’s going to take on me doing all the tracking and waiting. Currently it feels like the only think that would take away my the pain of the miscarriage is to have another baby, but I know that could take a while so realistically I’ve got to try and find a way of taking pleasure in other things in the meantime.

@Raey Thanks for letting us know when you got your post D&C period. I’ve been agonising over this. I’m on 6 days post procedure but I just can’t wait for my body to “reset”

It sounds like most people get their period by 6 weeks post procedure?

@VillageFete yes I asked the sonographer yesterday (who was a consultant gynaecologist) and she reassured me there was no retained tissue and they would be able to see it if there was. She measured my lining and said she could see my body was resetting itself and checked my ovaries, said she doesn't think I'll ovulate this cycle but should do after my next period which I found helpful :)

My 2 periods since the D&C have been really light but 2nd cycle has been back to normal timing wise. Going to track ovulation this month just to see when & if i do when expected but have a close friends wedding end of oct so will have to pause plans. Sounds crazy i know but all adds to the frustration about timing & things working out when you want them too.

Im not sure whether to go back to basics & just take folic acid or if additional supplements will help any dodgy eggs i may have.

Its a year since my 1st miscarriage & cant believe where time has gone!! Sorry for the ramblings just hope in 6 months time things have changed 🤞🤞

@Fairylight102 my period was lighter than usual. But more prolonged spotting.

On a different note, I recently got an email inviting me to book my next Covid vaccine due to being over 50 or vulnerable (which I am not). I found out it was due to the previous info about being pregnancy was still on my records somewhere.

Just wanted to let others know in case similar happens - I’ve found it another trigger for upset 😥

@VillageFete ibhad a faint line on the frer exactly 3 weeks post miscarriage the Epu checked my bloods and my hsg was 7 and that’s a negative was also having my period then so my body saw it as a negative as well.
I got my flashy face and positive OPK yesterday was so flippin stressed hopeful scared weird feelings ugh
after 2 attempts of my referral letters getting lost in the post ( hmm where is my confidential info) the Hospital e mailed it to my gp so I have a go appt to get referred about my polyp we have still tried this cycle so I guess what will be will be. Apparently polyp removal is 8-18 months wait on the nhs 😬
I’m so sorry I can’t remember who it was who was asking about fitness trackers. Mine has picked up my temp drop before ovulation and it also pinged me to say my resting heart rate is up, this is what it did when I was super early pregnant but that is absolutely not the case as I only got positive OPK yesterday just thought that would be of interest xxx
even taking ubinoquinol for 6 weeks I’m sure the advice is to stop once u find you’re pregnant but not 100% xxx

Just got a BFN on a FRER, and my temp dropped, so guess my first AF since the mmc is coming. Emotions have hit me hard, was so desperate to be pregnant again. I'm now a year after coming off the pill, one pregnancy, no living children, and right back were I started.

@Enigma85 Thinking of you x

@Enigma85 Sorry you got a BFN :( How many dpo are you?

Thank you @Fairylight102 and @TheBirdintheCave - I'm 10dpo and would just be telling myself it's too early, but temp went from 36.59 to 36.35 today and last pregnancy I got a bfp at 9dpo and temp stayed high. Have short cycles so AF due Thursday although might take ages if MC has messed it all up.

@Enigma85 hi Enigma I’m so sorry, I have been stupid tracking my ovulation and broke down in tears so many times thinking g it wasn’t going to happen so I can only imagine what I’m going to be like when my period starts when it hasn’t worked. I took my first period pretty well but I really wasn’t expecting to be pregnant even though we did try. This is all so hard and the longer it takes to Mw the more painful it is. It’s just all really awful and I’m so sorry. Im with whoever said above all the things that need to go right to make a baby it’s a wonder there are any at all xxx

@Raey I’m on day 25 after my loss and I’m starting to get period symptoms, my usual cycle is 26-28 days. When I got pregnant (and lost it )I ovulated super late though, day 22 ish, it must’ve been something wrong with the egg then.
My cervix is harder but still high and usually when I’m about to have my period it’s lower and hard. I’m not sure I ovulated this month at all, I got ewcm and my cervix was soft and high, which it is during my fertile period, but my temperature increase didn’t line up with my LH tests so I actually don’t know if I did.
I’ve not used Clear blue tests but I’m tempted to try them.

@Enigma85 sorry you got a bfn. If it helps my temperature dropped for a day at 9dpo when I was pregnant, it doesn’t have to mean you’re out.
I’m in my tww and holding off testing so far. I can’t face seeing a bfn 😞

@Chocolatebean it’s interesting about your rhr, I’ve heard some women who track ovulation with their rhr as it’s jumping up at ovulation and stays up until AF.

Regarding supplements; I’ve been seeing a fertility specialist and for egg quality he is recommending taking Vit D, DHEA and CoQ10.

Thank you @Travellingislife I didn't realise that, thought it'd all be done and decided by now. I have short cycles, and app reckons I'm due on Thursday so it seemed more like an AF dip, but I'll see what tomorrow brings and take the little glimmer of hope.

@Chocolatebean sending you strength and hugs, at the hospital the nurse said to me how fragile it is and how many different factors have to fall into place for it to be successful! I'm trying to tell myself it'll be when it's meant to be, but doesn't stop the moments of despair (not helped by hormones!)

So sorry @Enigma85. It's really tough, think we have to feel.the feelings on the tough days then focus on what's within our control on the more positive days.

Iv had to have a word with myself as i genuinely mean to others going through it that it will happen & there are lots of options & chances but never take or believe my own advice to myself.

I feel extra stupid as did a pregnancy test after AF... i just had built it up in my head that this month was THE month.
Going to try focus on myself & wellbeing more if i can & just trust things will work out.

There are some good podcasts i found helped too.xx

Hi ladies so I finally spoke to my go regarding my letter from early pregnancy unit only took 2 weeks and they have said that the ‘thing’ in my womb could be retained products ffs when I was told there was no way it could be. If I’ve been walking around with retained products all these weeks and epu just got rid of Me I’m going to be a bit annoyed. I’m getting an emergency appointment through the post ( same post that lost my referral twice 😬😬😬) and if I show any signs of sepsis have to contact them immediately fantastic eh? The early pregnancy unit told me it was a polyp so totally confused now xxx

I'd be absolutely livid if it is retained products.

Are your tests negative?

I'd be calling pals as well to register a 'concern' and they could also probably help with ensuring you actually get your appointment this time!

Thinking of you @Enigma85 I had my coil removed a year ago this week and really feel like we’re back to square one but with a lot less excitement and a lot more anxiety around the ttc journey.

@Chocolatebean what at sh*tshow - really hope you get seen soon and they sort out whatever it is. Hugs!

@YearoftheRabbit23 I think it’s a very personal decision to decide when you’re ready to try again. If you’ve been recommended to wait 2 cycles for good reason that sounds sensible 😊

@Fairylight102 I hope your period comes soon so you can have the same sense of a “reset” that I felt. I did feel a bit urghhh when it did finally arrive, as I had cramping for ages on and off leading up to it and then it just never seemed to materialise. When I wasn’t thinking about it, it came.. maybe stress caused it to hold off. It was slightly heavier than usual but nothing I couldn’t handle.

I’m on CD10 now and still had a blank face on the clear blue OPK this morning.

Although

Although I’m tracking ovulation I’m trying to remain Zen as I’m convinced my relaxed state had an influence on eventually conceiving last year. Iv had a busy week at work so saying to myself “I’m too tired to have sex anyway” 😆

I’d be happy with a static smiley on the opk to show my body is doing something, conceiving so soon after the MC would be a bonus, let’s see!