Journey after miscarriage support thread Jan 2023

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I wondered if anyone out there would be interested in joining a thread for those who have recently experienced a miscarriage - a place to share how we’re feeling emotionally, physical recovery, becoming ready to try again (for those that want to), and hopefully one day positive stories of successful preganancies.

I’m 32 and recently had a miscarriage at 5-6 weeks of my first pregnancy. I was relieved to have conceived after quite a short time, because I have PCOS and was worried I might struggle to get pregnant.

My miscarriage was about 2 and half weeks ago now, and today is the first day I’ve not had any spotting/bleeding at all, and that has been a relief to feel like my body is moving on from it. I know it’s advisable to do a pregnancy test a few weeks after miscarriage, which is something I’m a bit anxious about doing as I’m fairly sure it will be an emotional thing to do.

Since it happened my sleep pattern and energy levels have been a bit all over the place. Some days I’ve just wanted to sleep all the time, which I think could be a mix of actual physical tiredness and also emotional tiredness/hormonal changes. I was back at work for the first time today, and it was helpful to have something else to focus on and motivate myself for.

I’ve restarted tracking my BBT to see what happens with my cycle returning, though I’m aware it could take a while to get back to normal. My husband and I are both on the same page that we’d like to try again once I’ve had one normal period, so I guess we’ll just see how things go and how we feel when we reach this point.

Sorry this has turned into a longer post than I expected! Anyway, if there’s anyone out there who’s had a similar experience recently and would like a place to share feelings/questions/advice it would be lovely to hear from others.

Got a BFN today on an FRER - it’s 3 weeks to the day since my D&C and 5dpo so hopefully get a BFP next week and will know it’s real and not leftover from last pregnancy. Nothing had prepared me for this awful journey, never thought I’d be wanting to see a BFN it’s really messed with my head. I’m just really hoping I’m pregnant again this cycle as I know getting a period after the MMC will hit me hard 😥hope everyone’s doing ok x

@Enigma85 Great news on the negative (feels weird to say!). I hope you get to see a new BFP next week :D

Sorry to hear the various updates and welcome to any newcomers to the club.

agree about bloating! Not helped by the chocolate consumption - healthy eating starts next week!

Little update from me. I was due to have an MVA today but I actually ended up miscarrying naturally at home yesterday. In a way that was easier to deal with as my body finally let go of this pregnancy. Pain and bleeding has been manageable. It was heartbreaking to go for a scan today on the day that should have been my 12 week scan. It is also exactly 12 weeks since my last miscarriage.

I am going to be referred to the recurrent miscarriage clinic at leeds hospital (not my local one) as I am now 37 and had two which is their policy. Seems strange how it varies from trust to trust! I know that they might not find anything but at least it’s something to focus on / control. Going to wait a cycle before trying again to hope that the appointment comes through plus I am not ready to try - I feel so scared that something could go wrong. Does anyone have experience with long such appointments take to come through?

Im also going to be under the care of gynae at my local hospital as I have cysts on both ovaries 😞 they said that would be in about 12 weeks.

I’ve recently got the new Apple Watch so going to see what happens with cycle temping.

Best wishes everyone heaps of luck xxx

@Enigma85 I was actually going to ask when people got negative FRER’s post D&C. Mine was only done on Tuesday but I can’t bloody wait to see a negative test - seems mental saying that 😓

When is period then due once it’s negative, do we know?

@MrsLevs19 So sorry for your losses. The stress is awful waiting for hospital appointments. I really do hope you’re not waiting too long. In the meantime (If you haven’t already) you could do something like have your TSH levels checked whilst you wait? They like it under 2 for IVF, but anything up to 2.5 is deemed ok. If over 2.5 you take meds to lower it if it’s over as apparently if it’s over that threshold you’re more likely to miscarry? I check mine occasionally via Medichecks - it’s £39.

Thank you @VillageFete i might order those too. At least feels like I’m doing something whilst waiting for my cycle to settles down. I hope you get your negative soon (weird saying that) so you can focus on the next stage. Xx

Fingers crossed for quick conception!

I got my negative yesterday which I was relieved about (again such a strange process) because I'd had a lot of cramps. Turns out it was probably ovulation. We haven't tried this cycle but also haven't prevented.

@Enigma85 great news on your bfn, I agree with everyone else, it’s very weird saying it. I was really happy when I got mine too.
You said you are 5dpo. Did you get positive lh tests before ovulation?
I think I ovulated on day CD 11 or 12, my cycle app thought it would’ve been on day 14. I’m on day 21 now.
I know how you feel, if I get my period next week I’ll be devastated as well. Fingers crossed we get our bfp.

First dtd completed last night and we used the Fertilily again. I want to do every day til O now as I'm panicking we're going to waste the EWCM that I randomly started getting yesterday but husband has talked me down to every other day 😂

It's so weird, on Wednesday I was wondering if my spotting would ever end and then all of a sudden on Thursday it was gone and I was in the fertile window 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

Glad you got you negative @s14a - feels like a bit of closure doesn't it.

@Travellingislife yeah I was getting negatives on regular tests from about 2 weeks just the FRERs took longer. Annoyingly I looked at it in the bin yesterday and it did have a positive line but that was after about half an hour so would be ignored anyway. I got positive on an OPK on CD17, about a week after the last bleed and about 4 days after a negative test. BBT reckons I ovulated on CD18 and we'd DTD on CD15,16,17,18,19 so fingers crossed. Tried to get one in on CD20 but the OH was done! Was so hard not showing I was annoyed with him, but thought that's cruel so managed to just smile and say it's ok.

@TheBirdintheCave haha every other day in build up is good, otherwise he can run out lol! I think my OH just went with every day for me this time as we hadn't had sex in a while, when I was pregnant we only did it a couple of times as I felt so rubbish so he was quite accommodating for a few days as he'd missed it!

@TheBirdintheCave that's how it was for me, the spotting stopped and 2 days later I was getting ewcm!
Haha it’s hard for the OH’s, every other day should be fine 😊

@Enigma85 those days should cover it 🤞🏼
I’m not sure we dtd enough, my cycle app is saying my fertile window was between days 9-21 but the most likely ovulation day on 14. We only dtd on cd 11,12 and 17, hopefully that was enough!

It's a tough one for us as when I got pregnant with my son (after 15 cycles) we were dtd every other day. I think only twice that time round. So it took a long time but the pregnancy we got, stuck.

Trying for number two we've been dtd every day during the fertile window and have got pregnant twice in twelve months. So it took far less time BUT neither pregnancy was viable.

It is a dilemma. Dtd every day seems to work for us in terms of getting pregnant faster but I don't know if it's contributing to the losses :/

Is anyone using a fitness tracker of any kind? If so have you noticed anything different when you were pregnant?
The one I’m using shows for example heart rate variability and heart rate. When I got pregnant the last time I knew it before having a positive test because of my increase in hr and decrease in hrv. Overanalysing and tracking everything is a double edged sword though; I had a suspicion I had lost the pregnancy a week before the bleeding started as well ( my stats went back to normal), it could’ve meant nothing as I’ve seen posts about people’s stats going back to normal around the 6-8 week mark and it was nothing wrong with the pregnancy. I’m in two minds whether I should continue using it, it may just mess with my head and cause unnecessary stress. I’m already interpreting and analysing everything as it is.

Hi all can I join? I am TTC my second child. Have had miscarriages in September and December. Just waiting for my cycle to regulate a bjt - hoping may be in fertile window next week. Have a blood test on Tuesday just to double check for any deficiencies. Not a nice place to be but glad we can support each other xx

@tulipsunday Welcome and sorry for your losses x

@tulipsunday Sorry to hear about your losses. Hope the blood test is helpful x

Sorry for your losses @tulipsunday x

Thank you all ❤️ what are your current situations? X

@tulipsunday Very similar to you actually. Trying for number two and have had two miscarriages, one in April and one in December. Just in my fertile week now two weeks after surgery.

Sorry for your losses. It's a shit club to be a member of.

Also in my fertile week after a miscarriage at Christmas. Tracked using OPKs because I haven't had a period yet.

When does everyone time sex around a positive OPK? Is it still worth trying now the line is getting lighter again?

@GingleAllTheWay2022 so I don’t know for sure but I actually think I ovulated late the month I fell pregnant. I got a positive opk but didn’t really manage to dtd around that time, but had sex about 5 days later just for fun and think that may have been the one. That would have meant though that I probably didn’t ovulate when I got my static smiley and my body tried again. Kind of wish I tracked my bbt as that would have helped clarify but long story short, if you feel up for it I don’t think there is any harm in dtd even after the opk has gone lighter.

Hmm it's weird you mention that because I'm sure the last time I got pregnant was a late ovulation too. I wonder if there's a link between that and the miscarriage - did I not manage to ovulate on time because the egg quality is poor?

I've read things about a short luteal phase causing problems but apparently my implantation, placenta growth etc. all looked OK last time. They put it down to chromosomal abnormality being the lost likely thing although didn't get any testing.

You just want to know for sure, don't you. I almost feel it would be easier to be told that they've found XYZ wrong, rather than trying and trying with no idea if it's going to work or not. At least I could move on rather than being stuck in this relentless, stressful limbo.

@tulipsunday similar to you, ttc number 2, mmc at the beginning of December culminating in a D&C beginning of Jan cause there were complications. Just had my fertile window so positive thoughts! X

@tulipsunday I miscarried 5 weeks ago and it was my first pregnancy. From BBT I believe I ovulated around 3.5 weeks after it happened, so expecting my period some time this week (unlikely to have conceived this cycle as only tried once).

@GingleAllTheWay2022 yes, the not knowing is definitely the hardest part. Interesting that you mentioned late ovulation and possible link to mc - hadn’t really considered that. I was also wondering about my luteal phase a few months ago but after tracking it for a while and doing some research online I actually think mine seems to be in the ‘normal’ bracket so not sure that’s it either.