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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Original poster

TTC after miscarriage

575 replies

Winkle2020 · 02/01/2020 17:19

Hello Ladies

Please give me some hope and confidence. I have been through a miscarriage recently. Had d and c and then retained products. Had to wait for my first af 9 weeks after d and c. Now in the last scan I was told that almost everything is gone except that of a very very small 8mm tiny bit left which will eventually come out in the next cycle. Doc has asked me to wait for just one more cycle to ttc. Somehow in the length of this whole episode which dragged for 3 months now, I feel very hopeless and scared to death about ttc. I really want to hold a baby and have a second child. I sob everyday endlessly alone. There is no one to talk to, I have no sibling or close friends and lost my mother 2 years ago. I am a full time working women and it takes a toll on my emotional health. I am terrified and abosultely scared to death to go through this emotional pain again. When I was going through miscarriage this forum has been my single strong support and I have come back again to get some hope from you lovely ladies. Please help

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Katy0000 · 12/02/2020 16:29

I'm on day 26..not sure if I'm a 28 day cycle anymore.
Had some symptoms which could be af/pregnancy related..it's hard not to start wondering...

Winkle don't worry..it's normal to stress about those things..I'm no expert on ovulation sticks & testing but I think you've done all you can this cycle & the rest is down to luck.
It will be you soon🙂❤

Trying93 · 12/02/2020 21:41

@Winkle2020 I used opks this month. Never got a peak but used my highest one as a peak and the next day as ovulation. I fell asleep ovulation day before DH came upto bed as he was working late. Woke up the next day and was in tears over falling asleep. Completely ridiculous now looking back.

I deleted my tracking apps. No idea what cycle day im on and I feel great for it. I know its not forever but 1 or 2 months without it will do me good.

It was taking over my life after ovulation, constantly checking what day I was on, counting down the days till I could test. Unhealthy and not good for my mental health.

Also ran out of opks so off them for a month or 2 aswell

Annieelle1 · 13/02/2020 13:02

Hello ladies,

Hope any of you can share some of your experiences with me to make me feel less anxious.

I found out that I was pregnant in March 2019, arrived at my 12 week scan on 7th may 2019 to find out that I had a MMC (baby stopped growing 8/9 weeks) which was then followed by a D&C. After this my periods were all over the place and it took me until October 2019 to get my periods back to normal (cycle 34 days).

I had blood tests along with an internal and external scan done in November 2019 which all came back clear (no PCOS etc). I ovulate every month which is confirmed by clear blue ovulation tests.

BUT I am still not pregnant. Me and my partner are defiantly having sex at the right times but it just doesn’t seem to happen.

Is anyone in the same position as me? Does anyone have any success story’s with being in the same position as me? I just need some guidance and reassurance and just hope that it happens to me some time soon.

Thanks for reading x

Katy0000 · 13/02/2020 14:02

Hi Annieelle1

I'm sorry about the loss of your baby.
It must to be so frustrating & upsetting to be doing everything right & not becoming pregnant..all I know is that it took my friend 6 months with her first & that she went on to have 3 with no problems.Has your GP offered you bloods tests yet?

I just wanted to reach out to you all today.
I have an appointment for babies post mortem results next week.
After the devastating result of my gender scan I never got to know the babies sex & they couldn't tell me at the hospital either.
Today I got cytogenetic results in the post.
I was shocked.They told me I had been carrying a girl.
I'm heartbroken all over again..It just feels so raw & real.
They said she was chromosomally normal.

I did also by some stroke of luck,receive a teddy bear today from the aching arms charity.I don't know if any of you were given these at hospital?but I requested it myself off their Facebook page.
It's funny how they both arrived in the same post.

I stupidly went out & bought a clear blue test that you can use from 6 days early.I'm on CD26..
It was negative 😕
I think it may have been way too early to test anyway but I've just made myself feel worse.
Sorry to rant on but I feel like getting it down in words somehow might help x

Trying93 · 13/02/2020 17:14

@Annieelle1 sorry your going through this too. Im in similar position to you. Had mc june 2019, im ovulating according to opks and dtd at the right time and still no luck.

However I know a few people who've had 4+ miscarriages and went on to conceive naturally and give birth to a healthy baby. So it does happen we just need to try stay positive.

@Katy0000 that all sounds so hard. In a way finding out everything was chromosomally normal is a good thing but I guess it leaves the unanswered question of why it happened. Finding out the gender must be so difficult because it makes it all the more real.

I've never heard of the teddy bear but I hope it brings you some comfort. You know yourself it's too early to test. Dont beat yourself up about it, its been a rollercoaster of a day for you 💜

Original poster
Winkle2020 · 13/02/2020 18:27

@Annieelle1 hello Annie, you are more welcome to join us. You know when I see people get pregnant and give birth as a piece of cake I feel like what’s wrong with me. But one thing which puts the mind at ease is that atleast we are all trying. So please don’t lose hope it will happen. One of my friend suggested to take conception plus vitamins pregnacare ones for both men and women. Give yourself the best chance. And don’t just rely on the OPKs one advice is try and do every other day throughout the cycle. That might work

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Original poster
Winkle2020 · 13/02/2020 18:31

@Katy0000 this is unbelievable. How hard it must have been to know the gender. It’s like putting a knife straight to heart. I don’t know how you coping but please talk talk and talk to us and vent out everything. This is why we are all here for. I am all here for you if you want to talk about it. I think for you it’s just one of those days like what I had yesterday. My whole day was completely horrible. But today is better. Things will change and We will be holding our rainbow babies this year. Let’s all try together. I am sending you all virtual hugs honey 💕💕💕💕💕💕 please stay strong

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Original poster
Winkle2020 · 13/02/2020 18:32

@Trying93 I can understand what you saying. Not even a month of trying and I am already Fed up of all the opk sticks grrrrrr. I get the frustrations. Take your time and we will get good news Smile

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Katy0000 · 13/02/2020 19:08

Thankyou so much ladies,I had hoped you would understand & you do,& it's really great how I could post on this page & hear your sensible advice & kind words..I really do appreciate it.
Hope you all have a good evening xx

Original poster
Winkle2020 · 13/02/2020 22:43

@Trying93 @Katy0000I have my fingers crossed for you both this month 😊

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Trying93 · 14/02/2020 08:50

@Winkle2020 thanks. Fingers crossed for you too and everyone else on here. We all deserve it

Original poster
Winkle2020 · 14/02/2020 14:39

I still have a week more to go to know if I miss my periods. I am really scared of testing early. So low in confidence :(

Katy hope you coping ok.

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dm14 · 14/02/2020 17:02

Sorry I've been quiet I'm stuck in bed with really bad tonsillitis!! Anyone else been getting sick a lot after a mc? Im normally really healthy and I've had cellulitis in my eye and now tonsillitis all since January 😞.
Also does anyone else notice the egg white discharge ( sorry for detail ) doesn't correspond with the fertile window on apps?
Hope everyone is staying strong and positive and is feeling the love today! ❤️ xx

Original poster
Winkle2020 · 14/02/2020 18:03

@dm14 I was exactly like you. I fell really sick after my first period. I had persistent cough which is still there and lot of fatigue. I was super ill. And yes my Cm doesn’t correspond with my fertile window. That’s why I am so confused about this cycle. Online ovulation calculator said my fertile window is between 2nd and 8th but my ovulation pain and discharge came only on the 9th so I really don’t know if I have covered the fertile window

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dm14 · 14/02/2020 19:32

@Winkle2020 I'm glad I'm not the only one! It must really mess up our immune system 😞 xx

Trying93 · 15/02/2020 17:58

@dm14 yeah it weakens your immune system. I had a uti 4 weeks after my mc, cold after cold for 3 months and my skin was a total mess with spots and my eczema all flared up. It's only the last month or 2 my skin has settled down

dm14 · 15/02/2020 18:44

@Trying93 not good 😞 Mine are really painful things this year hasn't been good at all for me 💔 xx

Original poster
Winkle2020 · 15/02/2020 18:47

@Trying93 I was diagnosed with UTI at my 8-week midwife appointment. Do you think UTI could have caused this?

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lou2427 · 15/02/2020 21:51

Hi ladies. I just had a miscarriage last Tuesday (5 days ago), do you know why doctors recommend waiting at least 1 period? I feel like I'm ready to start TTC right away (as soon as I ovulate) and I'd rather not wait until my period comes. However, I don't want to risk it... Will you be waiting for your 1st period? I don't know what to do...

Trying93 · 15/02/2020 23:23

@Winkle2020 caused a mc? No defo not, they told me I got the uti most likely because a mc weakens your immune system

@lou2427 they advise it because they date your pregnancy using your last period so if you dont wait for one they cant date it as accurately. Its not to do with health reasons unless you were told a specific reason like retained products etc. I waited for 1 period. Sorry your going through this too

Original poster
Winkle2020 · 16/02/2020 12:29

@lou2427 I am so sorry lou, it’s a very hard time. If you think emotionally and physically you are ready you can start TTC. Make sure your pregnancy test is negative and your uterus is clear to go ahead. Because in my case I had retained products so had to wait two cycles.

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Katy0000 · 16/02/2020 13:29

Hi Lou.sorry for your loss
After the first miscarriage last year I had to wait along time until hcg levels went back down due to retained products.As soon as they did I fell pregnant again.
This resulted in a late miscarriage so I decided to wait one cycle this time.

Like trying says it's just for dating reasons,so I say just go for it when you're ready.

We tried this month but I have had a negative result when I tested this morning but I was kind of expecting it any way.

Good luck to all of you still waiting to find out 💕

Original poster
Winkle2020 · 16/02/2020 16:27

@Katy0000 when is your periods due Katy ? Let’s hope af doesn’t show her face to us this month. Are you cd29 today. ? Sorry for the bfn But hang in there. Cd27 and stupidly tested with 25mu/ml opk test and for a faint line. I made my life only more miserable now as I don’t know what to interpret from that. Also I had a nightmare and din sleep well. 😞 this waiting is driving me crazy

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Katy0000 · 16/02/2020 17:56

Hiya
Yeah I'm CD29 & I used a 15mu test..so I think it's accurate..I don't know how long my cycle is but used to be around 29 days.

Did you say you got a faint line!?x

Original poster
Winkle2020 · 16/02/2020 18:38

Hello Katy my cycle is 31 days and in cd26 now. I only had ovulation test strips which is 25mu and I don’t know why I took it. It showed a faint line and I think nothing can be concluded from that. I ideally want to wait until I miss my periods but it’s crazy

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