TTC after miscarriage

[Winkle2020]

Hello Ladies

Please give me some hope and confidence. I have been through a miscarriage recently. Had d and c and then retained products. Had to wait for my first af 9 weeks after d and c. Now in the last scan I was told that almost everything is gone except that of a very very small 8mm tiny bit left which will eventually come out in the next cycle. Doc has asked me to wait for just one more cycle to ttc. Somehow in the length of this whole episode which dragged for 3 months now, I feel very hopeless and scared to death about ttc. I really want to hold a baby and have a second child. I sob everyday endlessly alone. There is no one to talk to, I have no sibling or close friends and lost my mother 2 years ago. I am a full time working women and it takes a toll on my emotional health. I am terrified and abosultely scared to death to go through this emotional pain again. When I was going through miscarriage this forum has been my single strong support and I have come back again to get some hope from you lovely ladies. Please help

Hey everyone, just to give some hope to everyone. I am the one who posted the original message. I have had my rainbow baby this November 2020. I wont say it's an easy journey. I was walking through a rough path but here she is, sleeping right next to my husband like an angel. So please ladies trust yourself and it will happen. This group has been my sole support when I had no friends and family to give me any emotional support. I am so grateful for the ladies who loved me and spoke to me whenever I was down. Kudos to all the brave mamas here.

What wonderful news OP. I've just read all your posts on this thread and am thrilled for you.

Lovely lovely update OP! Thank you for sharing!

@HopefulB Sorry, I must have missed your post a while ago- I haven’t really looked into the Ava bracelet (pricey) but I think I will as a few people have really recommended it and I have no idea what’s happened to my cycle so I need something to try to track it. I was on day 45 (12 days late) until Sunday then AF came but it’s so different to normal- very light and dark and has only lasted about 3 days and seems to have stopped now. Wish my body would behave normally!

That’s lovely news @Winkle2020, thanks for the update. Still got fingers crossed that I follow your path. Healthy scans at 6/8/10 weeks with RMC, and have nuchal/dating scan booked for next week....

@Winkle2020 congratulations! I remember talking to you last year when I went through a miscarriage 😞 I'm due my rainbow baby boy in 2 weeks!
Keep positive everyone it will happen when you least expect it 🌈 ❤️

Is anyone still here? This thread has been so useful to read today! I had a miscarriage 6 days ago at 9+5 and I'm really struggling to come to terms with it... I am constantly analysing what I did in the lead up to it to see if anything I did caused it.

Sorry for your loss @BibblingScribbling.
Don’t underestimate the loss, and what your body had been through. It will take time to adjust. Take heart in the information from NHS sites and miscarriage association which indicates that the majority of miscarriages are down to chromosomal mismatches, and there is nothing you could have done differently. But mostly be kind to yourself and give yourself time, it does get better.

Lots of love to you @BibblingScribbling Sorry you have found yourself here but glad to hear it’s helped a little.

As above, take care of yourself, get lots of rest, watch crap TV and allow yourself to be looked after by your DP or loved ones. It is physically tiring as well as mentally but you will get through it. Don’t beat yourself up- sadly, these things are far more common than most people realise and you aren’t alone. ❤️

Thank you so much for your kind words - letting it out here has helped so much.

My DH doesn't seem to understand why I'm still crying about it which is hard for me... he keeps saying "ah those hormones again!" Argh! I'm like no... It's just sadness and feelings and guilt and anger and worry and desperation and jealousy all coming out at the same time!

There's so much hope for the future on this thread and I take comfort in that!

@BibblingScribbling hi sweetie, my heart goes to you. I can imagine your pain and crying. You are grieving for your little one. But please trust me Mc is more common than we imagine. On a positive note, now that all done and dusted you can start trying again. Dont give up and we are always here in case you wanna talk. For me mumsnet has been my super support from all brave mamas. I just love this forum. Talk to us lovely you will feel better

Sorry to read of your sad news @bibblingscribbling. Its totally understandable to feel sad for a long time. Sorry dh isnt understanding.

Does anyone have advice about trying again after a miscarriage? The nurses at the EPU said wait 3 weeks and do a pregnancy test, if negative then try again. A doctor at the EPU gave the impression there was no need to wait as I have already had a negative pregnancy test. It was an early loss and I have irregular periods so can't really wait until next period x

Hope you’ve spent the weekend relaxing @BibblingScribbling, and are starting to feel a little better?

@Fuzzyduck21, my understanding is there is no medical reason to wait, once the hcg is out of your system (negative test), although many recommend waiting till after first period so that you have a better idea on dates if you conceive. I guess it depends on how you feel, & if you feel there’s an urgency to trying again.

Hi ladies, just looking for some reassurance that we will get there. I have just last week had my second miscarriage this one at 6 weeks and last one at 5 weeks 4 days. Seems I can’t get past the point of getting that heart to beat. Has anyone had more than one miscarriage and gone on to have healthy pregnancy?. I am 33 now and worry I am running out of time xx

@HopefulB @Winkle2020 @Fuzzyduck21

Thank you, yes I have tried to spend time relaxing and work have been very understanding and accommodating too. I went in today to check in... and found one of the girls announcing her pregnancy... so that was a bit emotional!

@SBD995558
I'm so sorry for your loss I hope someone has the answer to your question, but for now, here's a hand hold.

@SBD995558, sorry for your loss.

Everyone’s different, but this thread came back to life after a couple of positive stories, so try to take comfort in that.

@Fuzzyduck21 I didn’t wait until my period to try but I didn’t conceive. Part of me was glad as although I don’t think it’s a problem and many people have healthy pregnancies. I finally had my period 4 weeks post erpc and now I’m CD 8 so going to start trying soon! Good luck xx

@BibblingScribbling I’m sorry about your loss. My husband was similar - he told me he didn’t want to talk about it as that was his way of dealing with it, so he hasn’t been particularly supportive and I cry alone away from him. However I respect his way of dealing with it and I’ve used this forum to let it all out, it’s been such an amazing resource. I’ve even made a FB friend out of it!
It gets easier with time but let yourself grieve however long you need to. I I’ve just had my first period after erpc and I feel loads better physically and the tiredness and nausea of pregnancy have gone which has cleared my head and I’m trying to feel positive for trying again. Take care xx

Hi, I hope it's okay to comment here. I've read the thread and it seems very supportive.
I had a miscarriage in December and a chemical pregnancy in February. I'm currently 8dpo and hoping it'll happen for me. I know I haven't been trying for too long but it's still so hard :( I hope everyone is good :)

Hi @cf8899 Sorry to hear about your losses. Hope you’re ok and fingers crossed for this cycle!

Hi i recently had my second miscarriage 4 days ago at 11 weeks though following a scan when i first started to bleed found out the baby had actually died at 6 weeks. Been feeling utterly deflated and hopeless. Trying for a baby has possibly been the most stressful experience of my life, but reading this thread has given me some small comfort and hope that one day i will get my rainbow baby.

Hi, just looking for a bit of advice really. I sadly had a miscarriage at around 6 weeks on the 9th February. Was in and out of epu as my hcg was dropping really slowly and eventually a scan showed that the sac was still in my womb.

I was given two doses of misoprostol on the 4th and 5th March and had light bleeding, only really when I wiped. The bleeding properly started about a week after but felt more like a period and I had another scan which showed the sac had gone. I did a pregnancy test a couple of days after which was negative and I am due to do the 2 week one on Monday.

I'm so conflicted on whether to try again or wait until I get a period. I feel like the proper bleeding was a period but I obviously can't say for sure. I really want to try again but not sure if it's better to wait. Anyone been in a similar situation?

Thanks 😊

@Optimistic2021 I didn’t wait for my period to start trying - I’ve now had 2 periods and still not fallen preg 🙁
As long as you’ve had a negative test and the doc hasn’t told you to wait then it will be fine. They only recommend to wait until first period because it helps date the pregnancy
Good luck

@LostFox82 yeah they suggested waiting one period but purely for dating purposes but like you say it could take a wee while of trying anyway

Hello again all
Just popping on as I have just an hour ago got a BFP!
Had a MC in December at 10 weeks.

I'm very excited but it already feels very very different to last time. I was jumping for joy and telling everyone from the rooftops, now its more of a cautious optimism and feeling very nervous. I can't go through it again.

I worry somethings wrong with me that they don't know about yet and it will keep happening until we find out.

Anyway, obviously I'm very excited but feels, as I sad, completely different to last time , my mind is a bit frazzled

Hello all I'm wondering if you can help me i had a MMC detected on 9th March (9weeks) with surgery on the 15th of March. On 5th April i got a negative pregnancy test (supermarket branded). Im pretty sure I ovulated 5/6 ays later.
I am yet to start my AF and today is 5 weeks since surgery and so I took a test this morning which i think shows an extremely faint line! The thing is this morning test was a First Response which i know detect lower levels of HCG. Is it a possibility that it's detected hormones from the MMC given my negative before was with a supermarket branded test? Although I'm pretty certain I ovulated shortly after the first test.
Any advise would be really appreciated my MMC was my first pregnancy and its all very confusing.....