TTC after miscarriage

[Winkle2020]

Hello Ladies

Please give me some hope and confidence. I have been through a miscarriage recently. Had d and c and then retained products. Had to wait for my first af 9 weeks after d and c. Now in the last scan I was told that almost everything is gone except that of a very very small 8mm tiny bit left which will eventually come out in the next cycle. Doc has asked me to wait for just one more cycle to ttc. Somehow in the length of this whole episode which dragged for 3 months now, I feel very hopeless and scared to death about ttc. I really want to hold a baby and have a second child. I sob everyday endlessly alone. There is no one to talk to, I have no sibling or close friends and lost my mother 2 years ago. I am a full time working women and it takes a toll on my emotional health. I am terrified and abosultely scared to death to go through this emotional pain again. When I was going through miscarriage this forum has been my single strong support and I have come back again to get some hope from you lovely ladies. Please help

Arghh it takes over your mind doesn't it! I don't see anything wrong in testing early if it stops the stressing..as long as it's not too early? I got the clear blue which can be accurate from 6 days before so I did a first thing in the morning test.
Anyway af is here today to confirm.
I feel like my life is gonna revolve around my cycle if I don't chill out! But maybe that will happen naturally as time passes.Its understandle to so desperately want to make things feel better after a miscarriage I guess.

I'm keeping everything crossed for you all.Hope that you are ok xx

@Katy0000 Oh poor Katy, I don't know if its true but things are a little messed up after miscarriage and somehow it keeps running in the back of your mind like a noise. Can't get rid of it. I am really hating to sit next to that colleague who announced her pregnancy to me last week. I don't know for what effing reason she has changed her seat next to me. I am crying every day and this puts me in such a difficult position. :( :(. My husband is getting a little concerned about my obsession as well but they cant understand

Only after mc I started to take into account how many days my cycles are and I feel like 31 - 32 days are my normal cycle length.

I am only on cd28 and having backaches and no other symptoms. I really don't have the guts to test early :(....I am praying for god sake all of us should have a bfp soon.

@Trying93 @dm14 @Annieelle1 @MamaDane @LittleGem638 @Moominmiss @elc19 @lou2427 no updates from you all...hope all doing ok?

@Winkle2020 sorry im decorating and moving house so that's keeping me busy.

Sorry your feeling so down. Could you speak to your colleague about how you feel? Is it just a bad few days or do you think you should speak to your doctor?

I totally understand your obsession. Its been my life for the last 6 months. I deleted my apps because I knew it had went too far. I know AF is due at the weekend but after that im having a few months taking a relaxed approach.

I've recently heard of a few people who stopped "trying" and stressing because they were waiting to see a fertility specialist and ended up pregnant. Wonder if im stressing too much.

Winkle take care of yourself.. do you know how much ptsd after miscarriage has been in the press lately? Like trying has said you may need to speak to your doctor if things are getting too much?

I had terrible PMT this month,I don't mean physical I mean emotionally.I cried so much that I actually thought I might be pregnant because I was so hormonal..I probably just started to feel a bit better today despite AF.

I can't cope with this every month tho.. I wish I could take some time off trying but I am 41 & time is not really on my side x

Sorry I've been quiet finally over tonsillitis just got a really bad cold now but I can deal with that 😂 so I've always followed the FLO app and when I got pregnant in August the fertile days seemed accurate. This month I bought some ovulation tests and we have been ttc regularly especially in the fertile window but the tests didn't correspond with the fertile days. A few days out of the fertile window I carried on taking tests and had two strong results for 2 days really strong lines so fingers crossed this time 🤞🏻🥰 xx

Thank you for asking and thank you for all your replies to my question. Today's one week since the D&C, my HCG is going down according to the pregnancy tests, which I'm happy about. I wish wish I could ovulate soon... I'd love a 2020 baby.

I think one of my friends is pregnant and she's not telling me so as not to hurt me, so I know how you feel. :(

I'm at uni class right now, and busy with my 2 other kids and my job, so thank god all of this is keeping me distracted.

Please, take care. Wishing to hear good news from you all soon.

Hi everyone, sorry I've not being active just been busy with work and day to day life. Hope you are all okay and taking each day as it comes.
I am CD18 and am trying not to be obsessive over my cycles and af/ovulation symptoms as this stresses me out, which in turn stresses my OH out.
My OH has spoken to me about his anxieties of us getting pregnant again and that has kind of put a dampening in things as I feel so desperate to be pregnant so I can 'move on' from MC whereas he is on the other side and wants us to slow down.
Lately I've been feeling like all the support I had from friends and family isn't there anymore, now that I am 'getting on with life' when in actual fact I probably need the most support now (so I dont turn into some obsessive ovulation lady).
On the positive side I have been spending a lot of time doing the things I enjoy and just trying not to think about it too much (that might have involved a few too many cocktails at the weekend)

@winkle2020 how are you today?

@Trying93 hello trying I think I am getting used to these pregnancy announcements and baby shower invites. I kind of feel numb. I still have episodes of having breakdowns.

@Winkle2020 if you dont feel up for going to baby showers then dont go, real friends will understand. Your own mental health is more important than a baby shower. They're terrible anyway it's like a sober hen do 😂

Hello ladies, here I am with spotting and af due today or tomorrow so I am out. But I thought some of you can help me figure out this. Sorry tmi I had a pink spotting and very tiny tissue like thing come out of me yesterday evening. I am wondering what it could be. 1st cycle after mc I passed some tissues (had an internal scan and they said still a very tiny piece left and they said they won’t treat this as it will normally come out in periods ) and 2nd cycle I did pass some tissue and thought I would have got everything out now but it this one which happened yesterday makes me think that I still haven’t recovered completely 😞 please let me know your thoughts

Hi Winkle

Hope you are feeling ok,to me it sounds like left over tissue..Sorry that it has really dragged out for you.Have you ever had your bloods done for hcg levels?
Try to think of this as your body getting a step closer to be ready for a new pregnancy xx

Update ladies, I have got my periods. I am at work so nothing much to even think about. Katy as you say, it looks like tissue. I had one more bit which this morning as well. I think our body knows when we are ready. At least good that my ad showed up on time. Another month of trying now. Hope you all doing ok

Katy My hcg when checked 3 months ago it was 66 but I am sure it would have gone to zero my now and hpts went negative 5 weeks after d and c.

I had retained products of about 3 cm before my first cycle, then before my 2nd cycle I had 0.8 cm and this is my third cycle i thought everything would have passed by now

May be I will book an appointment with epu and see if everything is clear and my lining is ok

@Winkle2020 theres no harm in phoning epu to see if you can get a scan. It will put your mind at ease

Yesterday was ages since my last period. Logged back into my app and it was CD35. Thought this is it longest I've ever not had a period apart from the time I was pregnant. Honestly thought im pregnant so DH went got me a test. BFN and AF has showed up this morning. A 35 day cycle!! Wtf?! Anyway sticking to my plan the app is deleted again. This month will be a chilled one once I get over my rage of 35 days lol

@Trying93 oh no! There's nothing worse when you have that little bit of hope and Aunt Flo just knocks you down. Atleast you have another new cycle to try again! Fingers crossed this time 😘

Arghh that's so annoying! You've got the right idea to chill out this month,it's just easier said than done.
Sorry for the delayed af you were bound to think you were gonna get a positive test

Keep busy & take care x

Winkle are you ok?

Hope everyone is well x

Hi ladies, I’ve been following this post since the beginning and have found some comfort with the support you’ve all shown each other. I had a natural mc mid January and first af on the 15th of feb. I though I was coping fine but the last 2 days have really broke me.
I have arranged to go back to work after some leave and it now just feels very final like that’s it I’ve got to get over it and to add to it a close friend told me she’s pregnant and that she didn’t want to tell me because she didn’t want to hurt me which is ironic as that’s what’s hurt more.
I’m trying to stay positive that my turn will come but I am really struggling

@Lottieloux really sorry for your loss and the pain you are going through.
It is never going to be easy when the people close to you are pregnant, it's what I dread the most as both my sister in laws are TTC.
Things will get easier over time but your feelings are still raw and that's okay. Just keep looking to the future because all of our times will come (hopefully soon 🤞)

Don't be too hard on yourself,Lottie..it's all very recent & you are bound to have bad days.A close friend being pregnant is tough,& I get why it hurts more that she thought she should keep the news from you.
After a miscarriage which I had in 2012 my cousin apologised to me when she told me she was expecting & said she had been scared to tell me.I get why she was but I was kind of offended for some reason?

All we can do is be kind to ourselves & have hope...& when you feel like no one understands,talk to us xx

@Trying93 Oh dear trying, i am so sorry, no words to explain that disappointment you had...still lets not lose the hope,...again in another few days you can start trying again, I get why you choose to not check apps and forums...sometimes I feel the same but honestly we are all here for you whenever you want us...take your time sweety and keep us posted ...my virtual hugs to you ...stay strong sweets

@Katy0000 I am the same like trying katy, I really thought this is our month but then af showed on the 20th... :( its been 5 days since period...I had brown discharge today so think hopefully in another 2 days I am ready to start again...

@Lottieloux I am so sorry that you have join the mc forum darling...but I get your pain ....my situation was like you ...my very close friend and i got pregnant close and she had a little baby girl last to last week while I am still passing the retained products of conception on my third cycle since mc...the whole thing has put me in a lot of stress...we are here for you...lets all have a fresh start this month and get our bfps ....stay strong love

@LittleGem638 @dm14 how you all doing?...

since mc myself and my poor husband were into lot of trauma and stress...and ladies thanks for talking to me about getting help from gp for the depression symptoms...funnily...I had cough cold and fatigue since mc...just yesterday I saw my gp and she said sometime you have this cough which is caused by acid reflux which starts from stress...she has asked me to calm down and relax...honestly I dont know how to do that....

I have stopped talking about this to anyone except my husband and you lovely ladies as practically no one else gets it...I am little puzzled on why we did not conceive last month as we BDed a lot around fertile time...may be the left over tissue which came during my periods were the reason ...anyway lets see this month

Thanks for your messages ladies. First month since my mc iv not ended up crying when AF showed up, feels like an achievement.

@lottieloux sorry your going through this but we're all hear to support you. Im sure your friend had good intentions and didnt mean to upset you.

@winkle2020 it's good your doctor knows and it's hard but try relax a bit. Focus on something else to take your mind off it. Even if you get the right days theres only something like a 25% chance each month of getting pregnant.

Hi sorry I've not been on here been busy in work! My period is late going by the Flo app and I've got sore breasts and some cramping and feeling tired so took a test and got a negative result so just waiting for AF to arrive but I was shocked because I feel pregnant it's weird!! Ah well will try again xx