First Pregnancy Missed Miscarriage

[sadtoday21]

Hello everyone - I've never posted on these forums before, but I had a missed miscarriage at 9 weeks and I found out at the 12 week dating scan two days ago. It was my first ever pregnancy. Yesterday, I had D&C and now recovering. Really healthy otherwise and no signs at all that anything was wrong during the pregnancy, although I never had any morning sickness.

I am really in shock and this happened on the 1 year anniversary of my mom's death (breast cancer), so the whole thing just feels like too much to handle. DH (dear husband) is very supportive, but I don't have any women friends to talk to, besides one who is more than 20 weeks pregnant and well...I just can't deal with that. Any advice on how to recover emotionally and also when to start trying again? GP said to wait 3 weeks, but I don't think I can wait that long. Please help and thank you.

Thank you @Amanda81 I'm wondering if I did ovulate early as I suspected on the 1st March to get a faint but visible line so early. If I did I'm 11 dpo. If I go by Ovusense 9 dpo and FF 7 dpo which I simply don't believe. Did you go and see the doctor? I'm not sure what to do now. A little concerned it's happened without a period. Not sure whether to wait until next week when I'm reliably 4 weeks to set up midwife etc.

It's so funny I jumped on DH to wake him up and tell him then fell off the bed. I didn't hurt myself luckily. He just smiled and said he's known I was since a few days after it happened. So surprised at how early the symptoms started. Maybe implantation was early. Sorry I'm rambling now! X

😂😂 falling off the bed @Catconfusion - that's one way to celebrate! I haven't seen the doctor, don't think I intend to. You will need to have a dating scan to determine how far along you are. If symptoms are stronger you may be further along that you think. Excited. Will you see the doctor/midwife? Xx

@Amanda81 It was funny. My doctor told me to to book in with the midwife as soon as I find out next time but might just wait until I've missed a period to make sure it sticks. Not sure whether I should request a call back from the doctors as I'm a little anxious about not having had a period and falling quickly not that they'll have the answers. It might just be best to relax and try to keep my mind off it until next week. X

Tbh, that's what i did @Catconfusion (waiting to miss a period). However your BFP is slightly different to mine as you are a little in limbo as to when you might have expected AF. When do you think AF would have been due? They may be able to give you blood tests to help identify how far along you are. Defo need to relax what ever you do, you don't want the stress hormone rising. So happy for you x

@Amanda81 My luteal phase was 17 days before the mmc. Not sure if it would change. I must be 9-11 dpo at the most so AF probably due on Sunday at the earliest. Maybe I should wait until Monday and make the necessary calls. How are you getting on? X

Congratulations @Catconfusion that’s great news! Great to hear all the positive stories x

Waaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh amazing news @catconfusion!!!!!!!!!! Thanks so much for sharing and really happy for you! What a lucky thread indeed. How’re you feeling? X

@Catconfusion OMG CONGRATS!!! Wow! That’s fantastic - I almost fell over too when I read this, I was so surprised! So lucky to get the BFP so soon! Don’t worry about not having AF before it, I have done a lot of research on this issue as well and I think it’s only for dating purposes. If you are healthy enough to fall again so quickly, clearly your uterine lining and hormones are perfect! Just enjoy it and try not to worry, we are all here if you need to talk, anytime xxx

Just been for a visit to the midwife. Turns out my regular midwife is off today as she is pregnant, so I saw a stand-in midwife (part of the team). She was unable to see my history, so had to go into the detail. I asked about a reassurance scan and she said that it was only normally given to those who are bleeding or have pains or have anything to worry about. I'm not holding out for a scan, and will most likely go private to get some reassurance at 8 or 9 weeks. Finding that I am being quite pragmatic about it all, day at a time approach is helping.

Hope you are all doing good today xx

@Amanda81 thanks so much for the update. I suspect NHS will not give a reassurance scan after mmc too, unless there is a specific problem or they can’t date the pregnancy. Agree I will go private if not able to get a scan by week 8/9 - no way I am waiting the whole12 weeks again! It’s an unacceptably long time. How are you feeling today? Do you have any morning sickness yet?

I was having a bad day until seeing @Catconfusion’s good news. Temps are hovering around the cover line of 36.6 (I did get three higher temps than the low drop, which was when EWCM started, but no spike yet). You need the three temps above the cover line to confirm O, right? OPK also still negative and no more EWCM now, but had three days on and off. Also boobs seem a little bigger today and have been having some cramps/twinges on my right side. I’ve never had O pains before the mmc, so I don’t know what to make of all this. Just was hoping for a dark line today indicating LH surge and tired of POAS

@SARmum14 how are you doing today? Do you get the BFN yet? Hope you are well

I just got my BFN!!!!!!! Determined and hopeful to start TTC from now. Hope some of @amanda81 and @catconfusion luck rubs off onto me!

@SARmum14 that’s fantastic! So happy for you! Have you started to chart for O or AF? Where do you think you are in the cycle? Here’s hoping for some good news for the rest of us soon!!

@sadtoday21 - thanks!!! It’s been over 4 weeks since my ERPC. No idea where I am in my cycle. I thought I was about to O (and sonographer confirmed that I was last week at my scan) but then I had to take the misoprostol and bled for 24 hours so no idea what that does to me or my cycle! I’ve been temping but not sure it’s helping. I just want to know what’s happening inside my body!!! Help! What did you do to help track? I think for sure I’m going to stop taking the evening primrose now and start regularly TTC and see where that gets me. Feel a bit lost!

Great news for you @SARmum14

Thanks @bananamonkey and @SARmum14, just trying to enjoy the news at the moment but also aware it's very early on. Really hope it sticks! Xx

Thank you so much @sadtoday21 It really is a surprise despite feeling very pregnant. Never thought it would happen so soon. I'm feeling very nervous. I've just spoken to the Midwife who reassured me best she could Xx

@Amanda81 I'm having my midwife appoint on 4th April and she's said they'll then book me in for an early scan just after that at 7-8 weeks to check all ok. Really not fair you're not being offered a scan. I know statistically unlikely to happen again but for your mental health they should be offering you one. Xx

@Catconfusion wonderful news, so pleased for you! Hope the nerves start to calm as the news settles and you can enjoy the pregnancy.

@SARmum14 congratulations on the BFN! Must be great to be able to start TTC again. I took a test yesterday and the line was faint but still there, hopeful that it won't be too long now!

Lovely to have lots of happy news, it's made this rainy miserable day much sunnier! 😊

X

@SARmum14 I feel exactly the same way - just want to know what is happening with my body, help!! That really resonates with me. As you can see from my previous posts and chart, I am temping and recording on FF, as well as doing daily OPK tests, and checking CM. I've been doing this since about two days after I got my BFN. It's still just a waiting game though, as I still don't have a clue where I am in the cycle. Pre-O, post-O, no O? Most worried about the latter. I feel the EWCM is a good sign, but tbh I am just obsessing over it at this point. I really expected to get a positive OPK this morning and was so disappointed when it was still just half the colour of the control line. Are you doing all this as well? I feel sad to be back at stage one and worried that this whole process might take a long time for me.

@bananamonkey how are you doing today? Where are you at in terms of this process?

Thank you @3204ECL. I had a bit of a tearful conversation with the midwife and she did her best to reassure me but I guess there will always be a bit of anxiety. I feel a bit calmer this afternoon.

@SARmum14 forgot to say congrats on the BFN and hopefully not to long for you @3204ECL

I have to say @sadtoday, Ovusense is much easier than the temping/OKPs. I know the price isn't so attractive but it took a lot of the stress out of trying again as I could just record the data and it predicted ovulation. I still think it was two days out due to post surgery temps being high but it really is helpful. If you're happy with the temping then that's fair enough. Guess the OKPs give you a bit more information too. Anyway good luck and try not to worry as hard as it is. I would have put money on it taking a few months for me to get my bfp so you never know what's around the corner. xx

Great news on the bfn @SARmum14 does this mean that you still need to go to your appointment? It didn't take long to get your bfn after taking the meds...so pleased that you are now able ttc with an understanding that all is clear down there 🤗🤗x

@sadtoday21 I recall that not everybody O's after MC before they get their AF, so do bear this in mind. You have quite a few open circles on tour chart - are you temping at the same time each day? FF doesn't like open circles and may not be able to determine O if you have too many open circles. Also your cover line will be determined by FF and can be different each cycle and will depend upon your daily temps. Usually you need 6+ lower temps and then 3 temps higher than the previous 6+ to confirm O. However, sometimes you can get a rouge temp which is either up or down and it's not worth stressing about these. It's the general pattern. Your temp on cd30 has an open circle - why is that? If you are anything like me, you just want to understand what's happening, but until you get more days of temping behind you it is really difficult to study the chart with any firm conclusions. Take it easy on yourself...xx

Fingers crossed you get tour bfn soon @3204ECL xx

I know what you mean about the scan @Catconfusion. However, they haven't said no yet, but I am expecting this. We are lucky to be able to afford a few private scans, but for those who are turned down a scan and can't afford it, well it must be agony. I hope it is sinking in for you. Hell of a day for you! Xx

@Amanda81 thanks for taking a look at the chart - I didn't realize the open circles actually meant anything. What do they mean? All those temps were taken within a few minutes of each other at the same time each morning, just maybe not when I recorded them manually into FF (but will go back and check on this now). Hope you are feeling ok today and doing well!

@Catconfusion yes, I do think you are right about temping and OPK being a bit stressful. I thought I would give it a try, but might switch to ovusense if I don't have any luck with it. Did you feel more O pain than usual after the mmc? I never felt any before, but I feel like I have some now. You must be super excited today, let us know how your midwife visit goes and I have everything crossed for you for a successful, healthy pregnancy!

@3204ECL hope your BFN is just around the corner for you!

Does anyone know how many weeks after BFN it takes to ovulate? I read about two weeks for O after BFN, and then about another two weeks for AF. Does this sound about right?

@Catconfusion CONGRATULATIONS! That’s such lovely news - fingers crossed this thread can become something lucky and have happy endings for us all! 🤞🏼

How’s everyone been? I’ve had a tough couple of days at work, been feeling really overwhelmed with being around pregnancy and babies and all that comes with it, all the time. Starting to feel a little brighter this evening and AF is on her way out, so hoping this month can be a lucky one. Hope you’re all keeping well, sending love and luck xxx

I’m sorry to hear you’ve had a rough day @LMLP91 - as you say, hoping for brighter news once AF out the way. It’s still hard isn’t it, with better days and moments than others. Be kind to yourself and take it slowly.

@3204ECL have you tested? Going for your BFN so that you can move forwards.

How’re you doing @bananamonkey?

@sadtoday21 - I know. It’s so bloody hard! I was spurred on by your message earlier so did an OPK and it looked like it was strongly positive. Which is bloody confusing as I only got my BFN today and when I last did a HPT on Sunday is was still positive. But then the Sonographer last week (who confirmed retained pregnancy tissue) said it looked like my right ovary was preparing to O. But then I took the misoprostol and bled so thought that would be the end of that. Gahhhhhh! Am going to carry on temping and doing OPKs and will see how it goes. Will let you know if I gain any more insight and share it with you. The only thing I do know is that cycles can change after MMC so you may ovulate later than you did before (I think @amanda81 was saying this earlier)? I think with FF tracking and use of OPKs you’re doing all the right things.

@amanda81 and @catconfusion how’re you both feeling?