Wait for period or TTC now?

[Picklesandpies]

Hi,

I had a mmc at 7+4 last week (it was just a gestational sac) and I have just stopped bleeding after a week. It's been a bit stop start but now it almost looks as though I might be coming up to ovulation going by my cm (I'm not saying I am though as I have no idea how these things work.)

The nurse at EPU said wait for period before TTC again but gynae doctor said it's just for dating purposes that they say that. I haven't been offered a scan to check everything has 'gone' but I can't imagine it starting again now.

Is it safe to TTC again now or is it safest to wait for my period first? This is all new to me and I'm a bit confused by the different advice online.

Thank you.

Thank you @Mistymeow, it is so disheartening. Yes, our BFP was a complete shock, we’d all but given up any hope of conceiving naturally. Our issue is also on my husband’s side, he has relatively (but not majorly) low motility. He has just started taking a new supplement when we conceived so maybe they actually work?! However I had also given up alcohol and coffee for lent so maybe that also helped. I am going to try and keep off them as much as possible just in case.

It’s so nice to be able to talk this through with people. We had only told our closest couple friends who have had 6 rounds of IVF and their baby was due on Saturday and it’s difficult to be open as I don’t want to put a downer on their joy! Nobody else knew so I can’t share it with anyone but my husband.

apologies for what I am sure is a silly question but how do you know when you are ovulating post miscarriage? I stopped bleeding about a week and a half ago.
If we are more fertile post miscarriage wondering if it's worth ttc this month.

This is such a kind and supportive group. Sorry for the new joiner losses.

I agree, it gets me in waves. I miscarried early so I know from that perspective I am lucky. It's amazing the amount of forward planning you do even in a short time.
Last weekend was tough a times as we had planned to tell my brother and his girlfriend when they came to stay but of course there was nothing to tell.
Seeing bumps and posts online about pregnancy are difficult. Also cookies have been at work because social media keep showing me maternity and baby adverts which I don't really want to see.

How is everyone else today? xxx

@dreaminofholidays so sorry to hear of your loss. I’m sure we can all relate to having planned ahead from an early stage.

Re ovulation, I think you could look out for changes in cervical mucus eg looking more like egg white, or your normal ovulation symptoms if you have them. Alternatively you could use the OPK sticks but I’m unsure if the pregnancy hormones would
Affect that?

I had a termination for medical reasons two weeks ago tomorrow, and I’m still bleeding. However I’ve had what I think is egg white cm in the past few days so I think I’ve ovulated. We are waiting til the bleeding stops to ttc again so have probably missed this month. If you feel up to it I’d say just start trying every other day as it can’t hurt!

@35counting Very similar to my husband too. It seems sensible to keep doing what you're doing as it worked before. We don't know what caused the miscarriage but we have been told it's not linked to my husband's condition, which is a relief. Just terrible bad luck it would seem. I also have a close friend about to give birth but it actually really helped talking to her. It doesn't upset me being around a pregnant person, I suppose because I don't see how her baby has anything to do with my little one that didn't make it. Just how my head works. I can't look at little baby clothes though, it makes me very sad. I don't know anyone who has gone through a miscarriage (no close friends or immediate family) so it really helps me being around others going through the same thing.

I agree about trying every other day, I think that's the course of action I'm going to take. I can't see any egg white yet which is what I normally would see, but CF seems very different since the ERPC I'm not sure if I will have clear ovulation symptoms. I was told I could start trying as soon as the bleeding stops (in case of infection) so unless your doctor has told you otherwise I think you should be fine.

Very sad to hear all your stories but I definitely feel like I'm healing by speaking to you all. Thank you x

@Picklesandpies I've also just finished my first period post-mc and need to chat to DH about whether or not we are trying again this month. My gut is yes, just go for it - but I'm also kind of embracing not being pregnant at the moment and as we got pregnant easily the last two times then 'just going for it' feels a bit more serious!

@Mistymeow welcome, and I'm sorry to hear about your mc. Did you test come out negative yesterday? I took one today for the first time - two weeks after the bleeding stopped - and it was negative. It feels like such a relief - I did not want to have to go back to hospital!

@Muffin7 good luck with ovulation!

@35counting I'm so sorry to hear about your loss; that must have been extra disappointing. So glad that you already have the ball rolling with the IVF clinic though so you can get on with it again as soon as you feel ready.

@dreaminofholidays I've bought some OPK sticks which I am going to use now that I've had one period and a negative pregnancy test. Good luck!

@BadBadBeans yes I took a test and I thought I saw a faint second line for a couple of seconds and I could feel a familiar panic, but then it faded and it went to a clear negative. I really didn't want to go back to EPU. Scans really scare me now.

Now I'm just waiting on ovulation but my body is definitely out of whack. Still get quite bad cramps but bleeding ended days ago. I suppose it's my body recovering.
x

@MistyMeow yep I'm sure it takes a while for your body to settle down again. I started on opks today as I want a clear idea of what is going on in there! Is that how you are checking ovulation? X

Hi all, how is everyone doing? Hope you’re all feeling ok wherever you are on your ttc journey. Good to hear some of you are able to try again.

Not much happening here - I’m still bleeding (2.5 weeks now!) though it’s much lighter. I wondered if some of it could have been a period? Especially as I did a pregnancy test on Saturday and it was negative - a good sign my body is getting back to normal. I definitely feel more normal now, but still can’t wear my usual bras as my boobs still feel massive! Anyone else finding that?

Morning all, sounds like you’ve had a tough few weeks @Nightmanagerfan, I hope it stops soon. I think mine has stopped so lasted about a week but I had several weeks of spotting first which may have all been the lead up to it. I haven’t taken another test yet but will buy some later as yesterday was the first time I actually felt my sex drive was returning! Need to be sure we get a negative before we start again though.

We’ve also had some good news on the IVF front, they called on Friday and are referring us to a neighbouring hospital which is further away but much smaller and newer. Our friends had treatment there and said it was so much nicer and felt like a private hospital so we are happy. Just have to wait to hear from them now.

The midwife called me yesterday (for the first time) and it was a bit of a kick in the teeth to explain that we no longer needed her. I assume they must be very busy locally. She was very apologetic though.

@Nightmanagerfan I'm also feeling pretty much back to normal (still got enlarged areolas though, a bit ugly!). I still get tired easily. I'm not sure about the bleeding but we were told the bleeding could last for several weeks. It's very good that your test was negative, it shows there is no left over tissue which is always the concern.

@BadBadBeans I've been temping, although I haven't seen a spike yet. I did get cheap opks online but they were unreliable and I couldn't afford the digital ones every month. Any recommendations? I've also been looking out for fertile cm, nothing yet. Wondering if things are different after the ERPC as everything has been wiped out. Maybe I won't ovulate this month, we shall see. I think, like many women, I want the comfort of a new pregnancy to ease the pain of the one I lost.

@35counting great news about the referall, all positive steps. Glad you are starting to get back to normal, and got everything crossed for your negative pg test soon.

@mistymeow glad you’re feeling back to normal too. (Commiserations on the areolas, the things we have to put up with!)

I’m feeling pretty exhausted. We have a flat we rent out and there was a major water leak last night. (First world probs I’m aware.) we really struggled to deal with it and I’m convinced it’s because our capacity to deal with stress has reduced because of what we’ve been through. Plus today I was looking for a photo on my work phone and found a video of the scan (I hadn’t realised DH had used that phone) and I got really upset. I guess we just need to be kind to ourselves and accept it’s going to take a long time to grieve.

Hi all. I had my surgery 4 weeks ago and although I stopped bleeding a while ago I am still getting positive tests. Does this seem normal or do you think I should go and see a doctor? I know my period might take a while to come back but I was hoping to have had a negative test by now.

@Nightmanagerfan sorry to hear that. It must have been very upsetting seeing that video. I made sure I deleted my pictures of my positive pregnancy test and got DH to hide anything pregnancy related (like my maternity bra). I hope you're feeling a little better.

Hi @edinbeezer I was told to take a pregnancy test 2 weeks after my ERPC and if it was positive to call the EPU. It may just take your body a little while longer for the hormone levels to drop but to be on the safe side I would definitely call them. There is an outside chance they might have missed something which could result in infection if left. It's unlikely though but definitely call them. Hope you're feeling ok x

I weirdly have started to get swollen and sore breasts again, plus sharp random pains to tummy (left and right). I haven't seen any ovulation signs (no EGCM) but we have been ttc. It's been 3 weeks since my ERPC so I'm wondering if af is due. I daren't hope we are pregnant again (except I am, of course!). I don't have a clue about my body post ERPC. Also have picked up a UTI, the joys the joys!!

@edinbeezer I had surgery three weeks ago and while I’m still bleeding I did get a negative test after two weeks. I’d call your doctor to check it’s all ok.

@badbadbeans did you decide to try again this month in the end, or are you taking a break?

@mistymeow I think it will be a while before our bodies are back to normal - I do hope you are pregnant but it could just be your period as you say. I’d quite like a period to show everything is working again.

How is everyone else?

I’ve just finished my second period after my mmc surgery in March. I say second, my first one was just 12 days of spotting so that was weird - this month was much more back to normal! Looks like my cycle’s finally back in check, so fingers crossed with our ttc this month! (Though if my cycle app is correct, my fertility window is right when my partner’s mum is visiting - could put a spanner in the works!)

Hope everyone’s doing okay x

Thanks @Nightmanagerfan I had a temperature drop today so I think af is about to arrive.

@jade92 good luck ttc this month! Hope your partner's mum is a heavy sleeper haha. I'm wondering what my first cycle will be like post ERPC, it seems that it could be light, or heavy, short or long. Who knows! I'm looking forward to it arriving which I never thought I would say because at least I will know my body is getting back on track.

hello everyone, good luck with your TTC this month.

Does everyone take their temperature daily to check for ovulation?

How long post MC did it take for you to all get your periods?

xxx

@dreaminofholidays I had surgery and am still bleeding 3.5 weeks later - though I’m wondering if some of this is a light period? It’s all been very odd.

I don’t take my temperature. I did do OPKs for a while but never got a positive, so just went back to sex every other day, which worked last time.

I am having a bit of a faff... It's been about 4 weeks since my MC which happened naturally around the 6 week mark. No sign of period yet.

I know we meant to wait until after the first period but we did have a whoops moment and now I'm thinking is there a small chance it's not come because I am pregnant. The sensible part of me knows this is ridiculously unlikely.

But then I'm also thinking should I avoid alcohol just in case but also thinking that's silly.

Basically I think it sucks being a girl sometimes!! Can anyone talk some sense into me?! xxx

@dreaminofholidays I am absolutely in the same boat! I did have an ERPC but I'm also waiting for af. I was told by doctor that I could start trying again after the bleeding had stopped, so we did. I feel it's really unlikely too because I don't think I ovulated. I've been having pms type symptoms for the past few days so I think af will arrive. You are definitely not going mad! 4 weeks after a miscarraige is normal for af, it can take longer (varies from person to person). Did you take a pregnancy test to confirm your hormone levels had left your body?

I am fairly certain I haven't caught this month so I will have a few drinks over the bank holiday. I don't drink much for fertility purposes (my husband has a low sperm count so we are trying to give ourselves the best chance possible). I wouldn't worry about the odd drink especially if you think it's unlikely this month.

@mistymeow that's a relief I am not the only one in this boat. I have my fingers crossed you are this month :) I am sure a couple of drinks at bank holiday will be absolutely fine. I can see how hard things can become once deciding TTC cos it really does impact so many aspects of life.

Yeah I had a negative test at the end of April. We are about to go away which is why I am wondering about alcohol as normally I would be drinking.

I have to be honest, I don't really know what the signs are that my time of the month is coming. We weren't trying pre MC so I had never given it much thought. I do know my cycles are irregular but I have no idea how irregular.

I use a free to use app called fertility friend which has a really useful calendar function so you know how long your cycles are. It will even tell you when you are most likely to ovukate and your fertile days.

I heard drinking very early on is unlikely to make a difference because the placenta hasn't had a chance to develop. As long as you don't overdo it a few drinks won't do any harm.

thanks will take a look at the app.
I did a test this morning and got a BFN.

have you done a test yet? xxx

Afternoon all

I did a test last weekend and got a negative and we have been trying again but I have come on today (just in time for our long bank holiday anniversary weekend away ). My boobs have been sore for the past few days and I was hoping it was a sign I may have caught again but no such luck (lightening never strikes twice hey). At the moment it is nothing like my normal period, very light and watery (tmi sorry) but I am starting to get cramps now so that could all change! Fingers crossed it is not as horrendous as the miscarriage or I will have to write off the weekend!

No news from the IVF clinic yet either, back to the drawing board as if the whole pregnancy thing had never happened!

Hope everyone has a nice long weekend!

I didn't take a pregnancy test as I got my af on Friday.

35counting sounds very similar to me although I had the most horrendous cramps all day (worse than miscarriage). The bleeding was heavy at first but now has eased off. I think watery is also normal. I'm pleased because it means by body is back to normal and 4 weeks after my ERPC. I'm still not hopeful of conceiving naturally but dh is seeing his consultant in July so will hopefully be giving a prescription for his fertility drugs. They stopped it when I was pregnant because they are very expensive.