Wait for period or TTC now?

[Picklesandpies]

Hi,

I had a mmc at 7+4 last week (it was just a gestational sac) and I have just stopped bleeding after a week. It's been a bit stop start but now it almost looks as though I might be coming up to ovulation going by my cm (I'm not saying I am though as I have no idea how these things work.)

The nurse at EPU said wait for period before TTC again but gynae doctor said it's just for dating purposes that they say that. I haven't been offered a scan to check everything has 'gone' but I can't imagine it starting again now.

Is it safe to TTC again now or is it safest to wait for my period first? This is all new to me and I'm a bit confused by the different advice online.

Thank you.

Hi @toasterstrudle, sorry to hear your sad news. I also had a mmc - I opted for surgical management and the EPAU booked me in for surgery the very next morning. If - god forbid - it happened again I’d choose the surgery every time. The care I received was so supportive, empathetic and kind, to the point where I even felt like I was receiving special treatment over the other patients!

As soon as I found out the baby had stopped developing I just wanted the whole thing over and done with, so surgery was definitely the best option for me (plus morphine is delightful!). But of course everyone’s different - choose what’s best for you. Happy to share more info on my surgery experience if you think it might help.
Hope you’re okay x

Oh @toasterstrudle so sorry to read your post. That must have been really hard for you. Even though I knew something was wrong, the scan was the most traumatic part for me. Poor you - I hope you are getting lots of support and you are able to take it easy (as easy as you can take it with existing children!) I hope you can arrange whatever next step you will take soon so you can start on the path to recovery and being able to try again. I must admit, I haven't waited for a period - but we aren't really 'trying trying' either, just seeing what happens. Take good care of yourself over the next few weeks and shout here if you need some virtual support!

@BadBadBeans sorry for delay in replying. I've been really busy and only just catching up on here. Sorry you felt sad after your scan. I'm not surprised. We had to walk back through the antenatal waiting room - not helpful. Hopefully your bleeding will stop soon. I felt so much better once that ended. Hope the good weather has helped - sunshine is so good for lifting the spirits.

It would be nice to see some of you on another bus soon, agreed. Fingers crossed.

@picklesandpies thank you, I'm so sorry we're all here. You're so right, the scan was by far the worst bit. And the "bad news room" after. When I got home I felt much better, but it does come and go in waves. How are you getting on now? So glad all your bleeding has stopped, I'm looking forward to starting to draw a line under this.

@jade92 I'm so sorry you had this too, it's so horrible. I just want mine over and done with too. Decided I would opt for surgery if nothing natural happens by then and that isn't looking likely. Booked in for Wednesday and dreading it but really just want this over with now.

@toasterstrudle I believe an advantage of surgery is that it speeds the process up so it is at least over faster. Best of luck with it all. It's so hard xx

@Picklesandpies thank you, the bleeding is easing to a sort of medium period now and I feel much more normal which is brilliant. The sunshine definitely helps. Spending lots of time outside playing in the sand pit with my toddler! Hope your not trying trying goes well! Xx

@toasterstrudle I was dreading mine too (esp. as I’ve never been in hospital before) but honestly it was the least horrible bit of this whole experience. The care I received was amazing and in a weird way, it was nice to be looked after - in terms of emotional recovery it kind of helped me (and those around me) to process that I had been through something quite big and needed to recover. Which of course is the case with every mc, but I think sometimes others struggle to understand that. The nurse who discharged me told my boyfriend I wasn’t to do any heavy lifting for 2 weeks - and that included all housework! So it was nice to be able to “officially” give my body a break.
They say physically you’ll be fine a couple of days later, but do take it easy and give yourself the time you need. I asked for a doctor’s note coz I work in a manual handling job so he signed me off for a week - I definitely couldn’t have gone back sooner.
Best of luck for Wednesday - you know where we are x

Hey ladies, I could do with some advice. I’ve had a bad couple of days, emotionally and feel a bit unstuck.

Scrap that, I’m being polite. I feel so uncontrollably full of anger and sadness. I had a bad day at work on Sunday (my supervisor and I don’t get on, to say the least - before Christmas I raised an official grievance for bullying) and we had a run in on Sunday that pierced me, somehow, and now I feel like all this grief and anger (so much anger!) and frustration has come flooding and I’m drowning in it.

I’m so so miserable at work at the moment and it’s all becoming too much. Not to mention I’m 4 weeks away from my final deadline for my Masters degree and I’m so far behind due to everything that’s happened, I don’t know how I’ll get it all done! And this spotting/period/eternal bleeding has been going on for 10 days now and I’m wondering if I’ll ever go back to normal!

I feel like I’m one false move away from having a complete melt down.

Can I get signed off work by my gp? I feel like my workplace is toxic at the moment and I need some space to get my head together. Or will they say it’s just grief and to get on with it? I spent today applying for jobs but I’m worried now that if I get signed off it’d have a negative impact on getting a new job? Or I’m scared I’d just be laughed out of the doctor’s office.

Sorry for the negative rant - I can’t sleep and I feel like my head’s about to explode & I just needed to vent.

Any advice would be much appreciated! (Sorry again!) X

@jade92 Firstly, please don't be sorry, this forum is here for these kind of questions, and we are here to (try and) help. I think if I was in your situation I would go to the GP and explain everything like you have here and see what they say. I think taking some time off would really help, but they may also be able to suggest some techniques to help you to grieve. I really do hope you start to feel better soon xx

@jade92 I second Muffin's advice - go to the GP and see what they say. It might be they can refer you for some talking therapy or bereavement support, or they might suggest it is best if you get signed off, or maybe both. Hope you get the help you need. And also, maybe it would be worth looking for a new job once your Masters is done? x

Hey @Muffin7 and @BadBadBeans - thanks for your advice.

I got an appointment with my GP today and she was super lovely and very sympathetic - She's signed me off for two weeks. She also asked if I'd like to talk to anyone, but I've got a very close support network around me so I think I just need to fall back on them some more.

My sister-in-law (the loveliest person in the world) dropped round a bag of gifts yesterday, from chocolate and toiletries to a memory box and superhero costume (for unleashing my inner strength!). It made me laugh and cry and was just what (I didn't know) I needed.

Knowing I've got some time off work is a huge relief too, I think that was making me more miserable than anything else. I applied for 7 jobs yesterday so fingers crossed one of them will work out!

Thanks again ladies! Hope you're all doing okay x

@jade92 I'm so glad you spoke to your doctor and have got some advice. Are you feeling a little better today?

I've got what I believe to be my period this week, but now my husband is having jitters and isn't sure we should have a third!!

@jade92 so pleased that the GP helped, and that your SIL is being super supportive - what a sweetie! And best of luck with the job applications.

@Muffin7 oh no! Well, at least you've got two weeks to talk him round before your fertile week!!! Best of luck!

Evening, @Muffin7 and @BadBadBeans. Hope you're both okay?

Thanks for keeping in touch - I'm feeling better now that I've got some time off work. Though I'm still stressed about my MA and haven't managed to get much work done; my brain still feels foggy and I can't seem to get productive.

How's it going with your husband, @Muffin7? Has he come round?

I've been feeling super tired today. I'm pretty sure I'm ovulating so perhaps it's a symptom of that? Or maybe I'm still just a bit down - I can't really tell.

Good news is we've been busy ttc so I'm keeping my fingers crossed for this cycle. Now it's back to the waiting game I guess...

How are you both getting on? x

Hi @jade92 good news from my end, my husband came back from am emergency wine run and proclaimed that we should definitely try again for a 3rd. So looks like we will be getting right back to it this weej.

Good to hear that you are starting to feel better. I just have a degree, no masters, but my husband has a Masters and the stress was crazy whilst he was studying so I sort of feel your pain.

@Muffin7 Horah for wine and 'babydancing'! (fingers crossed for you!) x

Hello, can I join in please?
I’m 11 weeks and bleeding just started a few days a go. This is a MMC and I’ve known about it for a month so not a shock and just glad I’ve finally started bleeding as I was going to get surgical management in another week or two.
When I first found out about the MMC I decided I wanted a bit of a break before trying again but when it finally all started I just felt such relief and it was like everything was normal again, it was ending and we’d try again straight away. I was quite surprised to feel like this but felt such relief to be finally bleeding. So I think that’s the plan.
Only thing is, this like an average period and I have fairly light periods anyway. I worry it’s supposed to be worse than this, more blood or some pain or something? Can it just be ok and that’s it? I will probably take a pregnancy test at the end of this week.

Hi all,

Sorry I've been a bit absent lately - things have been so busy. I hope this doesn't seem I seem insensitive to others here but I wanted to share here - I've had a positive digital pregnancy test this morning. I don't feel I can get excited yet as a) what happened last time with mmc and b) I am wondering whether it could be picking up something from that - although it's been a good couple of weeks since I stopped bleeding and I've had negative tests since (including a first response one a few days ago.) Off to buy another first response test now and see what that brings. What will be will be I suppose - just hoping for a better outcome this time.

Sorry to not respond to others posts here - I'm in a major rush now. I'll update later.

Hope you're all doing ok x

@howthelightgetsin Its so hard as our bodies all deal with miscarriage differently, no two experiences will be the same. My miscarriage was early on, I bled for a few days and it was just like a normal period, I have also been lucky and had no pain at all.

Hi @howthelightgetsin,

Sorry for your loss. I had surgery for mine so am probably not much use here, but I agree with Muffin7 that everybody's different. I guess it's another of those cruel waiting games where you just have to see what happens. The pregnancy test is the best way of telling I think - it should be negative once everything's done, though it can take a few weeks for your hormone levels to return to 0. x

And @Picklesandpies - hope you're okay. Fingers crossed for you. Keep us posted x

Thanks Jada and Muffin. At my last scan - I feel like I’ve had a million now and just want this OVER - they could see quite a lot of blood internally hence I put off surgical or medical management, so I have hope that it will be all of it and not an isolated bleed and I’m going to have to get the rest of it removed. Remains to be seen though. My HCG was last tested a few weeks a go but got quite high, like 20k+, so I don’t know how long it’ll take.

Glad you’ve both been back to TTC!

I wonder if I can join you? We just had a termination for medical reasons last week and are devastated, but keen not to wait too long before ttc. (I recognise a few usernames from the November antenatal thread too - hope you're all doing ok.)

The senior midwife who saw us before the termination said we didn't really need to wait to try again. She said, 'The advice is often to wait for a period, but that's more for our benefit than yours'. I think she meant re: dating etc. We haven't decided what to do yet (and need to wait a couple of weeks anyway to recover post-surgery), but interesting to hear what you have decided.

@Nightmanagerfan so sorry to hear that. That must have been so hard for you. Hope you are doing 'ok'.

Anyone been successful so far TTC after our recent MC?

Thanks @picklesandpies I’m doing better than I expected and am off work. I don’t think it’s really hit me though

@nightmanagerfan So sorry to hear about your termination, I hope you are okay and have a strong support network.

I had an early miscarriage at the end of March, I was approx 4 weeks pregnant. I have just finished my first period since and my husband and I have decided to try again straight away. I do think though, everybody is different, do what you heart and head tells you.